To get anything good first you have to desire it. Desire is a powerful energy that is part of the manifestation process.
Unfortunately, many people want to want better sex. They like the idea of it. But they aren’t doing the right things to increase their desire and getting themselves to the point of getting and maintaining desire long enough for better sex to manifest.
Here are 3 steps to re-kindled your sexual desire:
Decide that sex matters. Have a heart to heart with your spouse. You both need to decide that intimacy is a high priority. Review your history to see that your relationship works better with intimacy than without it. Also, make sure that staying married and having a good relationship is a #1 priority (many of us just take that for granted. Actually bring it into your awareness and your conversation). Once you decide as a couple that you would prefer to stay married and have a great relationship then you can begin to focus on your sexual intimacy.
Start fantasizing. Daydream about different scenarios, discuss them with your partner and learn more about them from online. Your largest sexual organ is your brain and getting in the game mentally will greatly increase you desire. This is a process and you need to engage in these activities on a regular basis to create the new thinking patterns in you brain. Once you have new pathways or grooves around sex and you have practice accessing them you will find it much easier to become aroused.
Start experimenting. Love, sex, sensuality etc. all can be kick started by taking action. Sex and sexual energy operate on a feedback loop. You have good sex and you want more. You want good sex so you have it. So on and so forth. Be proactive and get your feedback loop going in a positive direction. Ultimately you are in control of your sex drive.
Practice these 3 steps as often as you can. If you need a quick change in this area then make sure to devote some time each day. Start out alone if you are not comfortable discussing this with your spouse yet. Make sure you take action right away…even right now!
1. Do you know exactly what you want and if so what is that?
2. Are you and your spouse on the same page?
3. What (in a general way) have you done before along these lines?
4. What have you already done to make this fantasy become a reality?
5. What would have to happen to make you consider your experience a success?
The No. 1 factor for the risks associated with the swinging lifestyle is the lack of communication. If you and your spouse are having any of the following problems don’t even consider venturing into “The Lifestyle”
Moral hang ups
Religious hang ups
Resistance to having difficult discussions
Resistance to making time for eachother
You must work through these first! If you don’t, you won’t be able to discuss the specifics that come with “The Lifestyle”.
Things to consider:
What is your motivation?
What are your expectations?
What is necessary to satisfy you?
How will you behave when in swinging situations?
How will you deal with things going badly?
What will you do if there’s a misunderstanding?
What is the bottom line most important thing in your relationship?
It’s worth it to prepare!
You will be with your husband or wife for the rest of your life while chances are you will only be with other swingers for very short periods of time. Invest the most effort into your primary relationship. You may have realized your fantasy but your dream life could become a nightmare. Once you cross the line you can never go back…like virginity there is no restoring monogamy once it is lost. Your forays into the swinging lifestyle will be much more satisfying with the right level of communication.
I liked this video…it is a no nonsense review on the swinging lifestyle.
Couples are smart to review the benefits and risks of the swinging lifestyle. The #1 factor for the risks associated with swinging is the lack of communication. As a couple, each of you need to talk about ALL of your expectations and concerns, no matter what. Anything left out has the potential to cause problems down the road.
Have the discussion beforehand about what you’re expecting. For example, what are you looking for?
To be in the atmosphere
You are not sure what you want and would like to play it by ear
Even though most swing clubs and events have their own rules and guidelines, what are the boundaries for you as a couple?
When it comes to touching – review each body part, not just erogenous zones
Regarding nudity – in public and in private
Is it ok to kiss another person of the opposite sex?
If you talk about these in advance then you will be united when you put yourself in the position to manifest your fantasies.