Do you know what a fetish is? There are several meanings and uses for the word fetish and chances are you are more involved in fetishism than you may know. Whole societies can have a fetish, a fetish may or may not have anything to do with sex and while they carry a stigma in our society fetishes can be used to spice up your sex life.
The dictionary has several definitions of fetish. The meaning I will be exploring is sexual and erotic fetishism, although we as a society have a “growth fetish” – we believe that economic and political growth are universal cure-all’s for society’s problems. Another type of fetishism is believing an object, i.e. a talisman or amulet, (think rabbits feet and Voodoo) has mystical powers. The sexual and/or erotic fetishist gets some king of sexual arousal or satisfaction from a thing. While this thing could be a body part, a type of clothing, or some inanimate object; it could also be a type of attitude or mood (Dominant, Cheerful, Submissive, etc.).
Some of the most common fetishes are feet, shoes and golden showers. More uncommon are masking (wearing or seeing others wear a mask) and apotemnophilia (being aroused by getting an amputation). The reason you may not realize you have a fetish is some fetishes are common and socially acceptable – breasts, butts, body shapes and lingerie. Sexual fetishes can start in child hood and last a lifetime or come and go. A sex friendly attitude sees no problem with either, as long as indulging in your fetish does not degrade you quality of life.
Even though fetishes are common they carry a social stigma. Certain forms of fetishes are classified psychological disorders and our society is not always sex-positive. As an adult who wants to continue to develop your sexuality I encourage you to explore fetishes. You may already know what arouses you, or you may need to do some experimenting. Make sure you always go about it in a safe and sane manner. There are professionals to help as well: Dominatrix, sex coaches, and web sites galore. Your city may even have a fetish shop or two. Here in Vegas we have several and the staff are always more than happy to discuss their products and help you figure things out.
Using your fetishes to spice up your sex can be very fun but scary at first. Whether you are single or married you need to get honest with yourself. Don’t judge, just observe. Mentally relax into it. If you are part of a couple make sure the lines of communication are wide open. There are many surprises coming for you and any criticism may slow the flow. Both singles and couples need to make sure to set aside time for sexploration that is all about sensation – giving, receiving, energetically and physically. Agree with yourself and your partner that during your sexperimentation time you will not give energy to stigmas, that you will determine what is right and wrong for you independently of society or well wishing family members. Who knows, at the end of it all you may find that what stimulates you is actually breaking the rules and feeling like you’re being bad;)