Improve Your Sex Life part 1

Give Your Sex Life A Fresh Start

sex pen n paper improve your sex lifeThe first step to improve your sex life is to acknowledge what has already happened.  This is the hard work that many of us try to avoid.

Taking stock of the current state of affairs and the past can be very helpful.  It can also be harmful.

Try the following two exercises:(tip: read all the suggestions first before starting)

  1. Get into your body.  Breath deeply and notice how you feel in the moment.
  2. With a pen and paper make a list of all the things that aren’t the way you want them to be in your sex life.  Acknowledge them.  Contrast brings clarity but only if you see it.
  3. Notice your physical sensations.  Notice when things feel bad in your body.  Avoid being too hard on yourself and dwelling in the negative.
  4. Be as objective as possible.  You are noticing and acknowledging, not judging.
  5. Release the negative feelings you have tied to these things.  The best way to do this is to take personal responsibility for your experience.  That gives you the power to change your future experiences.  If someone else seems to be to blame take a deep breath and look at how you might have put yourself in the position to be hurt.

Once you have completed the above exercise pause, breath, and move on to the next exercise.

It’s time to look at the positives.

  1. Make sure you’re in your body.
  2. Again with the pen and paper – write down all the things that are good/positive/going the way you want.
  3. Make this list as long as your first list and then add 5 more things.

This exercise will help you to develop an attitude of gratitude and will help you to operate on a higher vibration making it easier to attract and manifest those things that bring you pleasure.

Find someone to share these lists with.  If you can’t find someone you are welcome to send them to me.  Why?  Because being witnessed is the best way to release shame.  Chances are you have some shame around the things that didn’t go well.  By sharing them and putting the light of day on them their power diminishes.  You may also get great feedback that can aid in acknowledging and releasing the negativity!

A Fresh Start For Your Sex Life In 3 Steps

Fresh start in your sex lifeIt’s December and I love it when a new month starts!

I know we can start fresh anytime – and, for some reason turning to a new calendar month helps a little more. It’s like I mentally and emotionally loosen my energetic grip a bit.

Why would you want to start fresh?

Whether what’s happened before was good or was bad (in my judgement) it can take the power out of our present if we don’t release it.  If it was bad we can be dragged down by the negativity.  If it was good we could rest on our laurels and be under motivated in the present.  My November was mostly great personally and professionally and while that is exciting I also had a few things happen that I didn’t love.

By letting go of all that has happened previously and starting new I can open myself up to not only living in the present but also feeling my desire, benefiting from the energy of that desire, feeling the strength of my sex drive and libido, and make sure I’m on track with my sexual health and sexual progress.

There’s a saying

“If you live with one foot in yesterday and one in tomorrow you’re pissing all over today”.

Is starting fresh a challenge?

If you are struggling with making a fresh start I have a few suggestions that might help the process.

  1. Acknowledge what has already happened.
  2. Find a way to release it.
  3. Fantasize and visualize how you want things to be.

I’ll be sharing more about each of these steps in the coming week so make sure to sign up for my newsletter by claiming your free vulva stimulation guide on the right=====>

Too Busy For Sex?

too busy for sex?  Sex Coach Nikki can helpI have been making some updates to this site the last couple of days and just realized that I haven’t written a blog post for over 2 months.  Unbelievable!  I mean, I get lots of satisfaction from writing.  It helps with all kinds of things – helping people, SEO, creating community, etc. yet I went without.

Why?

I was too busy.

I kept putting it off.  I forgot about it.  When I did think of it the time wasn’t right.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?  You put off something you know you like and benefit from due to seemingly good reasons and before you knew it a very long time has passed?

This happens a lot with sex and intimacy.  The obstacles are different for different people but the result is the same – a feeling of having missed out.  Other feelings are overwhelm at the prospect of getting started up again, embarrassment or shame for for having dropped the ball, anger and resentment at self for failing… lots of negatives.

Acknowledge and move on.

As much as every day can be a new beginning, so can every hug, every show of affection, every kind word.  Do what you need to do to start over.

Having a hard time with that?  That’s where someone like me comes in.  Find someone to talk to that can help you process through the crap and start fresh.  Someone who can help you identify your story or programming and break it up if it’s not working for you.

That’s the process I’m going through now with all my websites.  I’m grateful I don’t have to do that with my sex and sexuality (this time).

Travel | Sex | Intimacy

Summer is in full swing (June 20th or 21st is the
official first day of summer depending on the website
you look at) and for a lot of people that means travel.

If you’d like to share your thoughts on travel &
sex / intimacy please do and you’ll get a thank you
gift from me:)

http://svy.mk/NpudD3

I’ll be covering this topic on Saturday night at 8pm PST
on my radio show “Between The Sheets”.

between the sheets

I personally enjoy traveling and am planning on doing
more of it during the second half of the year.
Let me know if you want me to come to your city since
I will follow where business takes me:)
I already know I’ll be in LA during the second weekend
of August to speak at the New You Event
(save $398 when you use my code – the word sexy)
that will be all about health, wealth and relationships.

sex travel

Right now I’m planning a personal trip and for the
first time I’m actually taking sex and intimacy into
account for the trip. In the past I just left it up to chance
and sometimes it happened and sometimes it didn’t.

We usually travel on the cheap staying with friends
and family which I love but sometimes that can infringe
on sexy time since we didn’t want to be too loud or
get interrupted.

Of course, there’s almost zero chance of sexy time
happening on a trip when we bring my daughter
since we share a room and …
well, sometimes she’s a light sleeper.

blue balls

This short trip is the first time hubby and I are traveling
without her in years and I’m starting to research a bit
about the night life of San Diego.  Although we’ll be
busy during the day we might try to check out a swingers
club at night if we have energy:)

Recent private lessons have been amazing!

Couples traveling to Las Vegas on their vacations have
been having private lessons with me on a variety of topics:

  • How to help her enjoy anal penetration
  • How to find her g-spot
  • How to give a better blow job
  • How to incorporate power exchange (Dominant and submissive)
  • How to find his prostate
  • How to massage his cock
  • Tease and denial for him

If you are interested in a lesson/session send me an
email with your interest.  Sessions start at $300 and
educational packages are available at a discount.

I look forward to reading about your travel practices and
giving lots of thank you gifts!

Again, the link to take the survey is

http://svy.mk/NpudD3

Make It A Sexy Day,
Nikki

This me in front of Cesar’s Palace after a couples appointment:)

Nikki at Cesar's

 

 

The Swinging Lifestyle No. 1 Risk Factor

Don’t risk it!

  • Your happiness
  • Your relationship
  • Your security
  • And much more…

Lack of communication

The No. 1 factor for the risks associated with the swinging lifestyle is the lack of communication.  If you and your spouse are having any of the following problems don’t even consider venturing into “The Lifestyle”

  1. Jealousy
  2. Moral hang ups
  3. Religious hang ups
  4. Resistance to having difficult discussions
  5. Resistance to making time for eachother

You must work through these first!  If you don’t, you won’t be able to discuss the specifics that come with “The Lifestyle”.

Things to consider:

  1. What is your motivation?
  2. What are your expectations?
  3. What is necessary to satisfy you?
  4. How will you behave when in swinging situations?
  5. How will you deal with things going badly?
  6. What will you do if there’s a misunderstanding?
  7. What is the bottom line most important thing in your relationship?

It’s worth it to prepare!

You will be with your husband or wife for the rest of your life while chances are you will only be with other swingers for very short periods of time.  Invest the most effort into your primary relationship.  You may have realized your fantasy but your dream life could become a nightmare.  Once you cross the line you can never go back…like virginity there is no restoring monogamy once it is lost.  Your forays into the swinging lifestyle will be much more satisfying with the right level of communication.