My Masturbation Awareness

As a kid I began my masturbation as I explored my vagina in the privacy of my own room.  I experienced more and more pleasure and I first identified my orgasm at around 10 or 11 years old.  After making out with a boy who penetrated me with his finger I started experimenting with internal stimulation.  That was where my masturbation practice stayed until my mid twenties.  I experimented with vibrators and found them to be too intense and more of a distraction than helpful.  I also started exploring anal stimulation during my solo sessions once a partner tried anal sex with me during partner sex.

I almost always masturbated during partner sex – I found out through masturbation that it was only through direct clitoral stimulation that I was able to reach orgasm (or so I thought).   I would masturbate if I was tired and wanted to fall asleep quickly.  I would masturbate if I was horny.  When I began my journey as a sex educator I started to masturbate for new reasons – to know myself more deeply, to learn new things sexually and to meditate.

The masturbation meditation that I have practiced has provided some amazing insights both for myself and for those I have worked with.  Through direct hands on practice we can intimately learn our own anatomy of pleasure and how to have a deeper and more expanded experience of that pleasure.  We can work through issues we have with ourselves around sex, love, intimacy and image as lightning speed.  We reach a new level of self knowledge that allows us to communicate much more effectively with our lovers.

By having masturbation meditation as a practice I was able to learn how to improve my sex muscles.  This allowed my orgasms to become stronger.  With continued practice I was able to identify more subtle peaks, climaxes and orgasms in my body and enjoy a broader spectrum of pleasure.  I also learned how to ejaculate.

Meditation had never been a strong point in my life.  I had desire for it but it wasn’t until I joined a class that had daily masturbation meditation as part of the curriculum that I was able to have the consistency I craved.  Doing it with the teachers leading and the other students sharing experiences gave me the structure and the payoff that I needed to stick with it.  Some of them went on to keep it as a daily practice after the course. 0 I did it daily for the course which was 2 months long and after that sporadically.

That 2 month experience changed my sex for the better.  I found not only through direct personal experience but also through the experiences of my classmates that deep and profound progress could be made in the areas of overcoming sexual dysfunction, increasing sexual pleasure, smoothing emotions and opening the spirit.  That is why I have made it one of the bedrocks of my sex education programs.  The power of sexual healing in real and we all hold it in our own hands.

As Masturbation Awareness Month approaches I will be sharing more about how you can get these same benefits in your life.

Click Here to find out about the upcoming 30 Day Self Pleasure Program

 

 

 

Golden Showers And Human Toilet Training

water sportsDisgusting fetishes can be difficult to wrap your mind around at first but with time and communication a certain understanding can be reached.  I recently worked with someone who had the fetish of being used as a human toilet.  This was not my first encounter with this fetish and I knew how to work through it with this submissive man.

If you are going to engage in this kind of play you definitely have to have communication first.  Talk about what kind of experience is desired.  The one making the request should be as detailed as possible so their partner can create the desired result.  Does the bottom/receiver enjoy the feeling of the weight of a body on them – their face, head and torso?  Does the bottom simply enjoy the sensation or also the humiliating aspects?  For my client yesterday he explained how he enjoyed being humiliated and objectified for a dominant female’s bathroom needs, to be used as a toilet and spittoon.  He described how being made to feel small, perverted and depraved actually satisfied something inside him.  He shared about an incident in junior high where a girl bully pushed him down and farted in his face and ever since then he’s had a fascination with it.  The only people willing to play this way seem to be professional dominatrix.  In all other aspects of his life he’s “normal” and “average”.

As a top/Dom there can be a lot of pleasure to be had from this kind of play.  Of course, someone being below you, accepting everything that comes from you with enthusiasm, that is a great feeling.  Knowing that you are helping someone to scratch their itch is important.  You are being of service to them.

For play that is very disgusting to you but that you still want to try, start out slow.  Golden showers can be very difficult to give but might be easier to start with than direct toilet play.  Seeing the excitement on the bottoms face and having their face so close to your genitals can be very arousing.  If you become aroused then urinating can be next to impossible.  It’s also difficult to overcome a lifetime of training that you only pee in one place and that it’s yucky to do it anywhere else.  Keep remembering it’s not yucky for your bottom, it’s erotic.  You may need to practice before you are able to relax enough to “let loose”.  Often being in the shower and running warm shower water can help the body relax enough to release.  Also, drinking LOTS of water for the 30-45 minutes before playtime is very helpful.  Then, if you are trying to pee and nothing is coming out all you have to do is “bear down” and push and your full bladder will empty.  Having a lot of water in your system is not only healthy for the giver but will also make the play more enjoyable because your urine will smell better.

For toilet training a direct seal of mouth to urethra is great.  Positioning will depend on the desired sensations.  For my client yesterday, he not only enjoyed being used, but also the sensation of the body weight on him.  Fold up towels for the bottom to use as a pillow and to catch any urine they might miss.  This is an extremely intimate act.  It is one thing to be sitting on someone’s face with them licking and pleasuring you.  It is another to be sitting on someone, their mouth sealed to you, you totally relaxing into the moment, them waiting to receive.  As fluid flows from your body to theirs you feel the movement of their body accepting and taking in what you give.  Sucking, swallowing.  Those small muscle movements provide a special kind of stimulation against the vulva and if you are leaning forward with your stomach against their throat you can feel it as those small muscles push down the liquid.

What’s really great is if you can become aroused (as I do in this situation) you can lean back and masturbate right in their face.  The consistency of your fluids will change as the flow of urine stops and ejaculate starts.  The bottom can taste the difference.  If they like the objectification talk about how you like to masturbate on the toilet.  And cum in the toilet.  And now they are not just the object for your urination but also for your pleasure.  As a top, take your pleasure.  Enjoy the feeling of someone being below you and taking everything you have to give.  Lean into being of service to them and giving them what they need.

Thoughts?  Questions?  Please post in the comments section below.

Clitoris For Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Inspired by V-day this whole month I’ve been focusing on all things vagina – the vulva, squirting, and today I’ll be sharing a few things about the clitoris.

  1. Did you know the clitoris is the only organ in the human body created for the purpose of experiencing pleasure?  Yup, that’s all it does.
  2. The clitoris is actually fairly large.  The part that is visible is called the glans and that is only the very tip.
  3. The clitoris itself does not actually produce or secrete any type of fluid.

The Clitoris | For Pleasure Only

In many ways the clitoris can be compared to the penis but the one way it differs – the penis is a multi-tasker while the clitoris has only one purpose- to feel pleasure.  Many people are disconnected from their bodies in general and their genitals in particular.  Through relaxation and mindful masturbation we can get in touch with our genitals.  As a woman, you can tap into an immense amount of pleasure.  This is because of the clitoris and the way it works inside our bodies.

The Clitoris Is Bigger Than You Might Realize

Attached by ligaments at the pubic symphysis (where the two hip bones meet in the middle), the mons peeks out from beneath the protective hood.  beneath the hood is the body.  Once inside it separates into 2 sections.  Called the crus, these legs extend the length of the labia and encircle the vaginal canal creating the corpus cavernosum.  Then, the clitoris has another extension on each side called the crura.  This leg extends down through the perineum and even alongside the anus attaching to the pudendal nerve.

Here are pictures showing what I’m talking about:

MRI clitoris side view from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris side view from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from side.  Pic from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side. Pic from museumofsex.com

MRI clitoris top view.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris top view. Image from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from top.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from top. Image from museumofsex.com

Image from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/5013866.stm

Image from news.bbc.co.uk

Clitoris drawn from side at rest.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side at rest. Image from museumofsex.com

The Clitoris Does Not Produce Fluid

The vagina secrets many types of fluid, and urine comes from the urethra, but many mistakenly assume that the clitoris produces some type of fluid as well.  The entire vaginal area is made up of erectile tissue (much like a penis) and it has an area of spongy tissue called vestibular bulbs or skene’s glands.  These become engorged during arousal – like the penis – and this is where the ejaculate comes from.  These glands run along side the clitoris below the surface of the labia.  During high arousal and with the right kind of pressure they can release fluid that is very similar to the prostatic fluid created in the male prostate.  The ducts for these glands exit into the opening of the urethra – the opening of which is below the clitoris and just inside the introitus (opening) of the vagina.

Clitoris and bulbs/skene's glands

Clitoris and bulbs/skene’s glands

Why would you want to know all this?  The more aware you are (whether you are the one with the pussy or the one loving on the pussy) the better you will be able to stimulate that pussy.  Just knowing all this is going on under the surface will influence how you treat the area and key you in more deeply to the experience which makes for more pleasure.  And that’s what great sex is all about, right?!

Vulva Stimulation And The Squirting Orgasm2-12-13

Enter your info below to get the purchase link for my new DVD “The Squirting Orgasm”.  This 2 DVD set contains video of my live class, the in class demonstration, and two examples of squirting orgasms.  It comes with a download of the “Guide To Vulva Stimulation | Touches, Strokes And Techniques For Full Female Arousal“.

Retail price: $39.95.  On sale for Valentines Day for $24.95 plus shipping and handling.

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Vulva Victory!

human vulva

Source: http://www.gghospital.in/Normalreproduction.htm

The word vulva means the outside portion of a woman’s vagina.

The word victory is defined as:

1: the overcoming of an enemy or antagonist

2: achievement of mastery or success in a struggle or endeavor against odds or difficulties

I think many of us approach pussies as something to overcome or master.  Many struggles and difficulties come along with the potential for pleasure.

In my video on female ejaculation I talk about how one of my intentions with that class was model how to discuss and communicate about giving and receiving pleasure.  By listening to the class and seeing the demonstration and my interaction with my model the participants were able to get the words they needed to explore female pleasure.

In the video I talk about taking time.  Stimulate the woman’s entire body.  When you do head toward her vagina go from the outside in.  Start with the mons, the part right above the pussy (vulva) and below the belly.  Start with light touch, grazing the surface.  If there’s hair play with it stimulating the follicles.  Communicate with her throughout about what she does and doesn’t like.  Different amounts of pressure will affect different nerves.  Slowly go deeper.

Pubic Symphysis

Source: http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/encyclopedia/Pregnancy/Symphysis-Pubis-Dysfunction-%28SPD%29&page=4

Directly below the mons is the pubic symphysis and hip bones.  For many women it feels good to get massaged firmly in this area because there are a lot of ligaments attached.  It can be sexually stimulating because the ligaments are holding the uterus and other pelvic muscles in place so as you are relaxing and massaging the attachments your are indirectly stimulating the clitoris.

More about the clitoris and it’s reach in my next article.

Female Ejaculation DVD

Today I am meeting with the DVD duplication company.  There is a lot more to producing a DVD than I realized!  Today I will be giving him my edited videos of the female squirting orgasm class plus 2 or 3 pieces of video that show female ejaculation.  Then they will make the master DVD with the menu and every thing.  Turns out it will need to be a 2 DVD set because I have so much content!

The price might go up after my consultation with him.  Right now I have the retail price set for $39.95.

I am offering an early bird pre-order special that ends tonight at midnight of $19.95 + S&H.

Sign up below to get the purchase info

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Female Ejaculation | Squirting Orgasm | Class Video

Pencil illustration from "Sex for One" by Betty Dodson, 1986 for female ejaculation post

Pencil illustration from “Sex for One” by Betty Dodson, 1986

Happy February!  In honor of V-day (Valentine’s Day) I’m going to focus on the vulva and vagina this month.  I often talk about the anatomy of pleasure and I even made up a new word – vaginatomy!

Last week I hosted a female squirting orgasm class/party.  The party part didn’t really happen but the class was a huge success!  I also video taped it and am about to start burning copies… If you’re interested in getting one read to the end of this email to find out how.

Female ejaculation is so interesting to so many – I think it’s because it seems so mysterious.  And because not every woman does it.  Almost any female can do it (there is the very rare exception).  While 10% or so squirt without trying and the rest can learn if they want to.  It’s a matter of retraining your vaginal muscles to push out during an orgasm instead of pulling in.  That pushing out applies pressure to what are called the Skene’s Glands or vestibules – pockets of spongy tissue just below the surface of the vulva on either side of the vaginal opening.  The pressure from pushing can be increased with your fingers either by externally rubbing in a downward motion from the clit area to the vaginal opening or by internally rubbing the front of the vaginal wall pulling out in the “come hither” motion.  The fluid exits from the opening of the urethra.

female ejaculation coachMany women may be ejaculating without even knowing it.  The amount of fluid can vary from a few ounces to cups at the extreme.  It’s tough to notice smaller amounts because they get lost in the shuffle of pussy juice, lube and cum.  Also, the fluid often doesn’t squirt – it comes out as more of a gush.

Ladies:

Do you squirt/ejaculate?  Do you have any experiences you like to share?  Do you have any questions you’d like to ask?  Would you like to share any pictures or videos?

Men:

What do you think about female ejaculation?

Female Squirting Orgasm Video

This DVD will featured the half hour class followed by the half hour demo.  I’m also going to put on some clips of my other videos that show squirting.  The retail price with be $39.95 but you can pre-order it by Wednesday for $19.95.

Sign up here to get the purchase info.

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