Connection Thru Masturbation

masturbation coaching with sex coach NikkiConnection and wanting to feel connected are high on everyone’s list.  These are also potential benefits of mindful masturbation!

How does this happen?

When you create a mindful masturbation practice (with or without masturbation coaching) you begin to sensitize yourself to more subtle physical stimulation.  Part of sensitizing yourself is improving your attention (both the quality of your attention as well as the quantity or span).  This sensitivity to subtle sensations and improved attention shows up in all areas of your life.  You will be more likely to pick up on subtle cues and clues from those around you to know what they are trying to communicate and how they are feeling.

If you are interested in working with a sex coach online or a sex coach in Las Vegas you should set up an exploratory session with Sex Coach Nikki. Exploratory sessions are free. Email her at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com or text her at 702.674.6606 to schedule a time for an initial chat.

Although Nikki is not a licensed sex therapist working with her is very therapeutic and could have many benefits for your sex life and your sexual health. She coaches in person, over the phone and on skype.  Masturbation coaching is her favorite tool!  Masturbation done mindfully and with purpose can help improve libido, give you control over premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation, lead to becoming multi-orgasmic, ease pain during sex (for both genders) as well as make your solo sex life more satisfying and give you the capacity to feel more connected to the people around you.

Masturbation Benefits

There are a TON of benefits to be had from masturbation and you can exponentially increase how many you experience by practicing mindful masturbation. My favorite benefit is stress relief. Our daily lives are filled with stress from many sources and with masturbation you can use erotic energy to move the stress through and out of your body.

For more information about mindful masturbation and the masturbation coaching I offer send me an email at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com Let me know what you’re interests are and we can schedule a time for a quick chat to see if we would be a good fit for working together

I invite you to celebrate masturbation month with me by trying something new and letting me know how it works out. If you are interested in the therapeutic benefits even better. I love sexual healing! While I am not a licensed therapist my methods are very therapeutic. I truly enjoy being a masturbation coach because I get to co-create with my clients and be with them on the journey as they experience rapid improvement. The point is not that people need to learn how to masturbate – it’s that they can use certain masturbation skills and techniques to overcome common sexual dysfunction and to expand their experience of pleasure.

My Climax

May is masturbation monthI started masturbating very young, realizing that it felt good to put pressure and friction “down there”. There was a time when I started to notice climax. And then I started experimenting with penetration.

As I became sexually active I continued to masturbate.  I only noticed climax during masturbation.  I never used anything battery operated (vibrators felt tickly or painful). The only porn I used was the promo magazines for the “dancers to you” that are free here in Vegas.

In my early 20’s I began to use erotica.  I began to feel when I had a climax during partner sex.

In my late 20’s I began to use porn online.  With a small child and a new business achieving climax as fast as possible was the goal.

As a sex educator I began to experiment with different vibrating devices – rabbits, bullets, Hitachis. I don’t generally use them but I did experiment with them. I also learned all I could about pleasure and arousal and climax and what it means to be in an orgasmic state.

The older I’ve gotten the more pleasure I’ve been able to experience and the longer it has taken me to have a clitoral climax.

This last time takes the cake though. Almost 2 weeks. To have a climax.

I’m truly re-evaluating my relationship with climax right now. It seems that as I’ve become more and more mindful of what makes my body feel good the more pleasure I experience. I have been in an orgasmic state time and time again during these last 2 weeks – either by masturbation, orgasmic meditation, or partner sex – but feeling good and orgasmic did not include climax.

Even though I’m practicing mindful masturbation and focusing on sensation only I did try using erotica and porn a couple of times because I truly desired a release (old habits are hard to break) but even those did not push me over the edge.

What does this mean? I feel like now that my pussy is awake she cannot go back to sleep. She is enjoying all the attention and pleasure. Maybe it’s just now that I’ve been able to truly approach sex and pleasure without a goal or agenda.

Whatever it is, I’m grateful for all I know, for all the pleasure I’ve experienced and for the big climax I had last night.

To find out about waking your genitals up and experiencing more pleasure check out my 30 day Pleasure eCourse – on sale for May because it’s National Masturbation Month! 

Cultivating Pleasure

Cultivate Pleasure With Sex Coach NikkiTo cultivate is to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill).  In what ways do you cultivate yourself?  Are you mindful about what you do in preparation of receiving what you desire?  Do you have conscious daily practices in place?

In the past these concepts were foreign to me.  I knew about wanting to have a better life.  I knew that I had to do something different than my parents if I wanted a different experience.  But I had no idea where to start.  I was open to suggestions…  and that’s when I started on my journey.

I learned ways to let go of what I already knew so I could embrace new ideas and beliefs.  I became willing to try new things, to play and experiment, and to push to the edge of my comfort zone often.

Things that worked were honesty, positivity, creativity, and exploration.  During this process I learned new skills, picked up new habits and ultimately began to take on higher level practices.  These are all bringing me what I desire and preparing me for even more!

Here is a list of practices I do on a regular basis – if not daily – that cultivate me for the life I desire.

  • fellowship
  • Orgasmic Meditation
  • Masturbation Meditation
  • exercise
  • mindfully eat whole food
  • journal
  • immerse myself in learning environments
  • have family time
  • play

What’s amazing is that the more I take care of myself the more it seems my life is taken care for me.

I’ve been doing a lot with Orgasmic Meditation (OM) and while I love it, when it comes down to it, OM is a partnered practice.  With Masturbation Meditation you can have your practice solo.

For the last 3 years every May I’ve offered the 30 Day Self Pleasure Program for Masturbation Awareness Month.  This year I’m revamping it completely, adding all I’ve learned, and putting it together to present to you with a bow on top.

If you are interested in receiving the details as things develop Email me at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com and I’ll make sure you get all the insider info.

Moms And Masturbation

Yes, hate to break it to you, but we moms do masturbate. While we might hate to think about our own mothers masturbating studies have found that pregnant women masturbate more and women in general tend to masturbate more as they get older.

I’m a mom. I’m grateful for mindful masturbation and wish I had known about it at a younger age. Sometimes I still use it as a stress reliever, a sleep inducer, and a pleasurable distraction from my responsibilities. To be able to steal that time away for myself is a treat and something I’m not always willing to give myself.

Things that stop moms like me from masturbating are lack of time, lack of privacy, guilt for not sharing my sex, and sheer exhaustion. I’m lucky to have made a life that incorporates my sex and sexuality and I think that gives me more opportunities and motivation to experience pleasure both alone and with partners. Before my life became what it is I rarely masturbated. Women can forget how good the pleasure feels. This is also a contributing factor of many women becoming asexual.

Do a favor for the hot mom in your life and see if there’s a way you can give her some quality alone time focused on self pleasure. If this mom happens to be your partner believe me – you won’t regret it. Masturbation can re-awaken desire in women and help them to share their sex with you. Approach it with an attitude of wanting them to experience the most pleasure possible even if that means it has to be without you. By being supportive in this way you will reap the rewards that come from being an understanding and supportive partner. Rewards that might even include a little mutual pleasure:)

My Masturbation Awareness

As a kid I began my masturbation as I explored my vagina in the privacy of my own room.  I experienced more and more pleasure and I first identified my orgasm at around 10 or 11 years old.  After making out with a boy who penetrated me with his finger I started experimenting with internal stimulation.  That was where my masturbation practice stayed until my mid twenties.  I experimented with vibrators and found them to be too intense and more of a distraction than helpful.  I also started exploring anal stimulation during my solo sessions once a partner tried anal sex with me during partner sex.

I almost always masturbated during partner sex – I found out through masturbation that it was only through direct clitoral stimulation that I was able to reach orgasm (or so I thought).   I would masturbate if I was tired and wanted to fall asleep quickly.  I would masturbate if I was horny.  When I began my journey as a sex educator I started to masturbate for new reasons – to know myself more deeply, to learn new things sexually and to meditate.

The masturbation meditation that I have practiced has provided some amazing insights both for myself and for those I have worked with.  Through direct hands on practice we can intimately learn our own anatomy of pleasure and how to have a deeper and more expanded experience of that pleasure.  We can work through issues we have with ourselves around sex, love, intimacy and image as lightning speed.  We reach a new level of self knowledge that allows us to communicate much more effectively with our lovers.

By having masturbation meditation as a practice I was able to learn how to improve my sex muscles.  This allowed my orgasms to become stronger.  With continued practice I was able to identify more subtle peaks, climaxes and orgasms in my body and enjoy a broader spectrum of pleasure.  I also learned how to ejaculate.

Meditation had never been a strong point in my life.  I had desire for it but it wasn’t until I joined a class that had daily masturbation meditation as part of the curriculum that I was able to have the consistency I craved.  Doing it with the teachers leading and the other students sharing experiences gave me the structure and the payoff that I needed to stick with it.  Some of them went on to keep it as a daily practice after the course. 0 I did it daily for the course which was 2 months long and after that sporadically.

That 2 month experience changed my sex for the better.  I found not only through direct personal experience but also through the experiences of my classmates that deep and profound progress could be made in the areas of overcoming sexual dysfunction, increasing sexual pleasure, smoothing emotions and opening the spirit.  That is why I have made it one of the bedrocks of my sex education programs.  The power of sexual healing in real and we all hold it in our own hands.

As Masturbation Awareness Month approaches I will be sharing more about how you can get these same benefits in your life.

Click Here to find out about the upcoming 30 Day Self Pleasure Program

 

 

 

Self Pleasure Party (Ladies Only)

When:  Saturday September 7th, 5pm
Where:  The Las Vegas Adam & Eve Store

3231 N Decatur Blvd, Las Vegas, NV 89103

I’m so excited!  I’m going to be guest speaking at this event at the
local Adam & Eve Store here in Las Vegas.

Sorry this event is for ladies only.  I’ll be announcing co-ed, men’s
and virtual events soon!

The hostess of the event is Antrece, the owner of the Adam & Eve Store,
and she’s done a few events and they sound like they’ve been very fun.
She will have raffles for prizes and games where the winners get prizes
too.

I’ll be talking all about female pleasure, arousal, orgasm and all the things
a gal can do to give herself a helping hand:)  I’ll also answer questions
about overcoming sexual frustrations such as the inhibited sexual desire,
inability to become aroused, lack or orgasm and painful intercourse.

I look forward to connection (or re-connecting) with you there!  Please let
me know if you’re going to attend so I can have a little thank you present
ready for you there.  Just shoot me an email at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com.

Golden Showers And Human Toilet Training

water sportsDisgusting fetishes can be difficult to wrap your mind around at first but with time and communication a certain understanding can be reached.  I recently worked with someone who had the fetish of being used as a human toilet.  This was not my first encounter with this fetish and I knew how to work through it with this submissive man.

If you are going to engage in this kind of play you definitely have to have communication first.  Talk about what kind of experience is desired.  The one making the request should be as detailed as possible so their partner can create the desired result.  Does the bottom/receiver enjoy the feeling of the weight of a body on them – their face, head and torso?  Does the bottom simply enjoy the sensation or also the humiliating aspects?  For my client yesterday he explained how he enjoyed being humiliated and objectified for a dominant female’s bathroom needs, to be used as a toilet and spittoon.  He described how being made to feel small, perverted and depraved actually satisfied something inside him.  He shared about an incident in junior high where a girl bully pushed him down and farted in his face and ever since then he’s had a fascination with it.  The only people willing to play this way seem to be professional dominatrix.  In all other aspects of his life he’s “normal” and “average”.

As a top/Dom there can be a lot of pleasure to be had from this kind of play.  Of course, someone being below you, accepting everything that comes from you with enthusiasm, that is a great feeling.  Knowing that you are helping someone to scratch their itch is important.  You are being of service to them.

For play that is very disgusting to you but that you still want to try, start out slow.  Golden showers can be very difficult to give but might be easier to start with than direct toilet play.  Seeing the excitement on the bottoms face and having their face so close to your genitals can be very arousing.  If you become aroused then urinating can be next to impossible.  It’s also difficult to overcome a lifetime of training that you only pee in one place and that it’s yucky to do it anywhere else.  Keep remembering it’s not yucky for your bottom, it’s erotic.  You may need to practice before you are able to relax enough to “let loose”.  Often being in the shower and running warm shower water can help the body relax enough to release.  Also, drinking LOTS of water for the 30-45 minutes before playtime is very helpful.  Then, if you are trying to pee and nothing is coming out all you have to do is “bear down” and push and your full bladder will empty.  Having a lot of water in your system is not only healthy for the giver but will also make the play more enjoyable because your urine will smell better.

For toilet training a direct seal of mouth to urethra is great.  Positioning will depend on the desired sensations.  For my client yesterday, he not only enjoyed being used, but also the sensation of the body weight on him.  Fold up towels for the bottom to use as a pillow and to catch any urine they might miss.  This is an extremely intimate act.  It is one thing to be sitting on someone’s face with them licking and pleasuring you.  It is another to be sitting on someone, their mouth sealed to you, you totally relaxing into the moment, them waiting to receive.  As fluid flows from your body to theirs you feel the movement of their body accepting and taking in what you give.  Sucking, swallowing.  Those small muscle movements provide a special kind of stimulation against the vulva and if you are leaning forward with your stomach against their throat you can feel it as those small muscles push down the liquid.

What’s really great is if you can become aroused (as I do in this situation) you can lean back and masturbate right in their face.  The consistency of your fluids will change as the flow of urine stops and ejaculate starts.  The bottom can taste the difference.  If they like the objectification talk about how you like to masturbate on the toilet.  And cum in the toilet.  And now they are not just the object for your urination but also for your pleasure.  As a top, take your pleasure.  Enjoy the feeling of someone being below you and taking everything you have to give.  Lean into being of service to them and giving them what they need.

Thoughts?  Questions?  Please post in the comments section below.

Clitoris For Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Inspired by V-day this whole month I’ve been focusing on all things vagina – the vulva, squirting, and today I’ll be sharing a few things about the clitoris.

  1. Did you know the clitoris is the only organ in the human body created for the purpose of experiencing pleasure?  Yup, that’s all it does.
  2. The clitoris is actually fairly large.  The part that is visible is called the glans and that is only the very tip.
  3. The clitoris itself does not actually produce or secrete any type of fluid.

The Clitoris | For Pleasure Only

In many ways the clitoris can be compared to the penis but the one way it differs – the penis is a multi-tasker while the clitoris has only one purpose- to feel pleasure.  Many people are disconnected from their bodies in general and their genitals in particular.  Through relaxation and mindful masturbation we can get in touch with our genitals.  As a woman, you can tap into an immense amount of pleasure.  This is because of the clitoris and the way it works inside our bodies.

The Clitoris Is Bigger Than You Might Realize

Attached by ligaments at the pubic symphysis (where the two hip bones meet in the middle), the mons peeks out from beneath the protective hood.  beneath the hood is the body.  Once inside it separates into 2 sections.  Called the crus, these legs extend the length of the labia and encircle the vaginal canal creating the corpus cavernosum.  Then, the clitoris has another extension on each side called the crura.  This leg extends down through the perineum and even alongside the anus attaching to the pudendal nerve.

Here are pictures showing what I’m talking about:

MRI clitoris side view from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris side view from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from side.  Pic from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side. Pic from museumofsex.com

MRI clitoris top view.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris top view. Image from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from top.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from top. Image from museumofsex.com

Image from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/5013866.stm

Image from news.bbc.co.uk

Clitoris drawn from side at rest.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side at rest. Image from museumofsex.com

The Clitoris Does Not Produce Fluid

The vagina secrets many types of fluid, and urine comes from the urethra, but many mistakenly assume that the clitoris produces some type of fluid as well.  The entire vaginal area is made up of erectile tissue (much like a penis) and it has an area of spongy tissue called vestibular bulbs or skene’s glands.  These become engorged during arousal – like the penis – and this is where the ejaculate comes from.  These glands run along side the clitoris below the surface of the labia.  During high arousal and with the right kind of pressure they can release fluid that is very similar to the prostatic fluid created in the male prostate.  The ducts for these glands exit into the opening of the urethra – the opening of which is below the clitoris and just inside the introitus (opening) of the vagina.

Clitoris and bulbs/skene's glands

Clitoris and bulbs/skene’s glands

Why would you want to know all this?  The more aware you are (whether you are the one with the pussy or the one loving on the pussy) the better you will be able to stimulate that pussy.  Just knowing all this is going on under the surface will influence how you treat the area and key you in more deeply to the experience which makes for more pleasure.  And that’s what great sex is all about, right?!

Vulva Stimulation And The Squirting Orgasm2-12-13

Enter your info below to get the purchase link for my new DVD “The Squirting Orgasm”.  This 2 DVD set contains video of my live class, the in class demonstration, and two examples of squirting orgasms.  It comes with a download of the “Guide To Vulva Stimulation | Touches, Strokes And Techniques For Full Female Arousal“.

Retail price: $39.95.  On sale for Valentines Day for $24.95 plus shipping and handling.

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