Vulva Victory!

human vulva

Source: http://www.gghospital.in/Normalreproduction.htm

The word vulva means the outside portion of a woman’s vagina.

The word victory is defined as:

1: the overcoming of an enemy or antagonist

2: achievement of mastery or success in a struggle or endeavor against odds or difficulties

I think many of us approach pussies as something to overcome or master.  Many struggles and difficulties come along with the potential for pleasure.

In my video on female ejaculation I talk about how one of my intentions with that class was model how to discuss and communicate about giving and receiving pleasure.  By listening to the class and seeing the demonstration and my interaction with my model the participants were able to get the words they needed to explore female pleasure.

In the video I talk about taking time.  Stimulate the woman’s entire body.  When you do head toward her vagina go from the outside in.  Start with the mons, the part right above the pussy (vulva) and below the belly.  Start with light touch, grazing the surface.  If there’s hair play with it stimulating the follicles.  Communicate with her throughout about what she does and doesn’t like.  Different amounts of pressure will affect different nerves.  Slowly go deeper.

Pubic Symphysis

Source: http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/encyclopedia/Pregnancy/Symphysis-Pubis-Dysfunction-%28SPD%29&page=4

Directly below the mons is the pubic symphysis and hip bones.  For many women it feels good to get massaged firmly in this area because there are a lot of ligaments attached.  It can be sexually stimulating because the ligaments are holding the uterus and other pelvic muscles in place so as you are relaxing and massaging the attachments your are indirectly stimulating the clitoris.

More about the clitoris and it’s reach in my next article.

Female Ejaculation DVD

Today I am meeting with the DVD duplication company.  There is a lot more to producing a DVD than I realized!  Today I will be giving him my edited videos of the female squirting orgasm class plus 2 or 3 pieces of video that show female ejaculation.  Then they will make the master DVD with the menu and every thing.  Turns out it will need to be a 2 DVD set because I have so much content!

The price might go up after my consultation with him.  Right now I have the retail price set for $39.95.

I am offering an early bird pre-order special that ends tonight at midnight of $19.95 + S&H.

Sign up below to get the purchase info

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Female Ejaculation | Squirting Orgasm | Class Video

Pencil illustration from "Sex for One" by Betty Dodson, 1986 for female ejaculation post

Pencil illustration from “Sex for One” by Betty Dodson, 1986

Happy February!  In honor of V-day (Valentine’s Day) I’m going to focus on the vulva and vagina this month.  I often talk about the anatomy of pleasure and I even made up a new word – vaginatomy!

Last week I hosted a female squirting orgasm class/party.  The party part didn’t really happen but the class was a huge success!  I also video taped it and am about to start burning copies… If you’re interested in getting one read to the end of this email to find out how.

Female ejaculation is so interesting to so many – I think it’s because it seems so mysterious.  And because not every woman does it.  Almost any female can do it (there is the very rare exception).  While 10% or so squirt without trying and the rest can learn if they want to.  It’s a matter of retraining your vaginal muscles to push out during an orgasm instead of pulling in.  That pushing out applies pressure to what are called the Skene’s Glands or vestibules – pockets of spongy tissue just below the surface of the vulva on either side of the vaginal opening.  The pressure from pushing can be increased with your fingers either by externally rubbing in a downward motion from the clit area to the vaginal opening or by internally rubbing the front of the vaginal wall pulling out in the “come hither” motion.  The fluid exits from the opening of the urethra.

female ejaculation coachMany women may be ejaculating without even knowing it.  The amount of fluid can vary from a few ounces to cups at the extreme.  It’s tough to notice smaller amounts because they get lost in the shuffle of pussy juice, lube and cum.  Also, the fluid often doesn’t squirt – it comes out as more of a gush.

Ladies:

Do you squirt/ejaculate?  Do you have any experiences you like to share?  Do you have any questions you’d like to ask?  Would you like to share any pictures or videos?

Men:

What do you think about female ejaculation?

Female Squirting Orgasm Video

This DVD will featured the half hour class followed by the half hour demo.  I’m also going to put on some clips of my other videos that show squirting.  The retail price with be $39.95 but you can pre-order it by Wednesday for $19.95.

Sign up here to get the purchase info.

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Couples Sex Coaching For Pleasure Session Part Three

Sex Coach - Anal MassageDuring couples sex coaching I often teach specific techniques.  One of the most popular is sensual massage and anal massage in particular.  I’m happy to explain the mechanics and set it up so that the couple has the tools they need to practice at home on their own.

Other things I teach in person:
~Fellatio – improve technique and overcome using teeth
~Penis Massage – taking hand jobs to a new level
~Anal Sex – making it feel good for her

Couples Sex Coaching Session

I demonstrate how to slowly approach the anus, massaging first the place where the legs meet the groin, the sits bones and the entire crack.  Soft long strokes one after the other relax and arouse him.  Shorter deeper strokes massaging all the muscles in the crack relax and arouse him even further.  He is going with the flow of arousal and enjoyment, opening his legs further and tilting his pelvis higher.  Applying lubrication directly to the anus I massage his outer sphincter in every direction, gently stretching and relaxing it.  I get even more lube and without penetrating I press inward against his anus with the flat of my thumb.  He asks his wife to come and massage his balls.  She stands across from me with her hand on his scrotum and he reaches back and holds her other hand with his.  Their love and connection is beautiful and I’m loving being a part of it.

Sex Coach Las Vegas - Anal StimulationHe’s ready for penetration and I point my thumb tip in ready to slide it into his anus.  I instruct him to take a deep breath and on his exhale I slide my thumb into him.  I stay there and just hold him, feeling the arousal running through him.  When a person is this aroused stopping and holding can be very pleasurable for them as their muscles flex and relax themselves creating their own internal massage.  Then I gently pressed in every direction.  Envisioning a clock with the tail bone being 12 and the prostate being 6 I stop at each number of the “clock” checking in with him asking how it feels.  He said good a few times and I asked him to rate it on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being not painful – that there might be discomfort but not pain and if there was any pain we needed to stop and address it immediately – and 5 being total bliss.  I continued around the “clock” and when I was twisting my wrist completely I gently pulled out my thumb and inserted my index finger.

I explained in between stops that this was extremely therapeutic – I was massaging all the pelvic floor muscles from the inside.  The arousal helps to facilitate a better pelvic floor massage because the pressure is pleasurable instead of painful.  At the prostate I touched each side and did a few different types of strokes all the time communicating with him about how each felt.   I also slid my finger in and out of his anus and asked if he liked that sensation (he didn’t).  Then I asked if he felt complete and since he did I ended that part of the treatment with gentle holding while his wife held his scrotum.

Other Resources

Want to learn more about erotic massage? Visit one of the following sites for detailed instructional videos.

http://NikkisLessons.com

http://EroticMassage.com


												

Feeling Alone In Your Relationship?

Stop Feeling Alone In Your Relationship
Happy Young Couple

I know what it’s like to be feeling alone in your relationship.  I experience that when I’m afraid.  Sometimes I feel like I can’t talk openly and freely with my partner.  I become afraid that if I share what is going on inside that I will lose my relationship.  As the pain and disconnection becomes worse I finally realize my truths again:

  • That I don’t want my relationship if that is how it is going to be and become open to change.
  • I often base my expectations of his reactions on reactions I’ve seen from other people in the past.  For example: my mother shared something with my father and he was explosively angry.  My partner is not explosive – ever – and I forget that.
  • I guess what his reaction will be when I really don’t know what it will be.  I really like the solution Cynthia has given in Step 3.
  • I underestimate the power of our love and commitment to each other.  Usually, once we’ve talked in a positive way, when we’ve both seen each others point of view, we are able to work things out win-win.

I read this and just had to share!  If you’re feeling alone in your relationship use this process please let me know how it worked for you.  I prescribe similar things but I love how Cynthia has laid it out.

Experiencing Intimacy: Overcoming The Aloneness In Your Relationship

By Cynthia Belmer

Our intimate relationship with our significant other is a mirror of how we feel about ourselves and in life in general. Many of us face challenges opening up to our partners and talking about things that scare us the most in the relationship. When we are in this situation, a feeling of disconnection arises, and the mind makes a list of judgments of why we should keep some strict boundaries with our loved one. Little do we know how much we are damaging our relationship and how we are giving so much more power to our fear of intimacy.

A fear of Intimacy, often brings us to a situation where we get taken over by our emotions such as anger, feeling resentful for not getting what we need, being scared of getting hurt over and over again and being attached that we are right. Many just give up working through these challenges and walk away from the relationship, some others continue on sabotaging and pushing their loved one away. What we miss to realize is that the only way out from feeling stuck in this emotional disconnection is to turn towards the pain instead of turning away. Knowing that it is okay to be vulnerable with our partner and choosing to let them understand our pain without being scared of losing ourselves.

This moment of awareness brings us to the state of experiencing freedom, fearlessness and becoming a brave warrior: When we look at the problem or fear and move towards and beyond it; when we sit with it until we become so familiar and comfortable with it; when we talk about it openly and let our partner understand how we feel, let him/her help us and be there for us. Being intimate with ourselves through our emotions and fears, we allow ourselves to experience being fully human and we provide space for our partner to be closer to our heart and part of our lives.

So, if you are someone who is facing challenges opening up to your partner, below are some steps that might help you initiating an open and loving conversation:

Step 1: Meditate on the problem you are facing

Think through your problem first. Sit with your feeling and try to understand it a little bit deeper (If you are having hard time understanding it, that’s okay, it’s very normal and eventually you’ll get there). Try to understand what comes up for you in terms of feelings, emotions and write them down without any judgment.

Step 2: Understand why it is important for you to tell your partner about your feelings

This step is very important because it identifies the problem and helps you understand your wants and your needs.

Step 3: Use your imagination positively

Take a moment and visualize how would it feel like to have told your partner about this problem. What beautiful feelings come up in your heart? Where do you feel it in your body? Write your visualization, your feelings and read them over and over again.

Step 4: Schedule an official meeting

Send a meeting invitation to your partner and mention that you need their full attention. I found this to work really well especially to get the partner’s attention and to get them to be fully present.

Step 5: Ask for your needs

Before you discuss the topic, tell your partner how important it is for you to feel supported and heard during the meeting. Check-in with them to see if this is something they feel they can do. The answer is 99% of the time is yes or I will try!

Step 6: Turn your focus towards your heart and discuss the problem

Talk about what is going on whether it was in your life or in your relationship. What is your heart feeling? What does he need? If this is something related to your relationship, focus only on how you feel and not on all the things that are going wrong or the mistakes that the person is making. Remember, the meeting is about YOU!

Step 7: Request your wants

“Ask” your partner to show care and affection when you are done talking and state
how you would like to them to help you in this journey. What do you really want from them? What do you need to feel better?

Being close to our partner is so warming, loving and peaceful that it’s hard sometimes to navigate through a problem that keeps us distant. Turning towards our pain and fear does not mean that it will be very easy for us to open up, but it’s a step closer to find a way in towards our relationship instead of a way out. This is the pathway towards inner freedom, unconditional love and being a human being fully and naturally. Otherwise, we will keep pushing intimacy away over and over again until we finally surrender.

 

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Couples Sex Coaching For Pleasure Session Part One

couples sex coaching

How do you (and your partner) know if you’re ready for couples sex coaching?  If you’ve had fantasies and curiosities for a long time and haven’t been able to move forward.  If you wan to add a little zing to your sex life – to spice things up.  If otherwise things are terrific but you would like a distraction from the everyday grind – an you want to be distracted together.

In preparation for a couples session I find out how long you’ve been together, what your current relationship is like, if you’ve discussed all the various foreseeable outcomes of our time together and a short sexual history for each of you.  We trouble shoot in advance the main issues that could crop up as a result of working with me and how to deal with them.  We do this via email.

Although it’s ideal to work with me for a series of sessions, many of my clients come in from out of town and can only see me once.  Over the next week or so I will be sharing the process I recently went through with a couple that worked with me recently.

Couples Sex Coaching Session

I get to the room and introduce myself and talk a bit about my week and my background to set the tone of friendliness and support.  Through discussion with her I determine her true level of comfort – up until that point I had only interacted with the husband through email.  I explain my boundaries and goals for the session.  I make sure she knows this session is about them and their pleasure, not mine.  I will be interactive only to their comfort level and at any time that could increase or decrease and that is okay.  We will have constant communication throughout the session to check in on how they are feeling and let that be our guide.

I explain to them that there are several reasons that bringing in a professional is a great choice:

  1. By having a session you are putting your experience into a container that has a beginning and an end.  Afterward, you can review what you liked and didn’t like and there’s not a lingering question of whether the experience was complete or not.
  2. You won’t be worried about any emotional romantic issues coming back to haunt your marriage.
  3. It’s a more relaxing situation than trying to pick somebody up in the bar and not knowing what you’re going to get – what their skill level is sexually or what their motives are.
  4. Whatever pleasure I give to one partner the other partner gets the credit for it.

We review their interests as a couple.  He loves massage and all touch so he will be getting a full body sensual rubdown.  Then they want to review different handjob and blowjob techniques.  For her turn she wants to be pleasured.  She’s never “been with a woman” before and this has been a very exciting idea for the two of them.

 Other Resources

Want to learn more about erotic massage?  Visit one of the following sites for detailed instructional videos.

http://NikkisLessons.com

http://EroticMassage.com


 

Naked Travel With Nikki

Yes, I said naked!  Does that mean you’ll be getting to see me nude?
Not necessarily…

naked travel logo

I’m going to be sharing the naked truth about sex and sexuality as I
travel and speak all over the country:)

Get Naked With Me!

9/1 Between The Sheets Live Broadcast At The Erotic Heritage Museum –

8-9pm PST  Come say hi as I broadcast live from the Erotic Heritage Museum.
If you are out of town you can listen live at http://LVRocks.com.

I’ll be there supporting

9/10-9/14 New York Trip

I’m going to work with a couple of East Coast clients.
I will have time to meet with new clients as well.
Email me for more info.

I am also looking for opportunities to connect so if you have a group or club
that you would like me to speak to about my Salacious Solution for Frustrated Lovers
respond to this email.

9/13-9/23 Speaking at the Rockstar Marketing Bootcamp in LA:)

I am totally excited to be presenting my book
Mild To Wild: Fun And Easy Ways To Heighten Your Intimacy
on the same stage as world famous inspirational speakers
like Les Brown, Glenn Morshower and others!

If you are an entrepreneur click the link above and check the event out.
It’s been an extremely valuable resource to me as a serial entrepreneur
and I would love to meet you there!

I will also be available on a very limited basis for one-on-one appointments
when I am not tied up with the conference.  Email me for more info.

Make It A Sexy Day!
Nikki