Annilingus Discussion On Facebook

I had to share because I get these questions a lot!  Scroll down to see the conversation in a larger font.

Annilingus conversation p1 Annilingus conversation p2 Annilingus conversation p3

Q:  Do you prefer Annilingus?

Nikki Lundberg hmmm… depends on the partner and the situation. Sometimes it’s hotter but it doesn’t necessarily feel better (receiving). Giving is good when the person is relaxed and aroused. I don’t love an aggressive receiver if that makes sense. I like to be an aggressive receiver at times – but that’s more my nature of being inclined to be a top or dominant

    • Oky, m learning about woman psychology

    • You mean its a tool to fantasize?

Nikki Lundberg It can be. Because it’s an under – utilized erogenous zone for many people it can be extremely intense. It can be done as a gift. The experience can be completely about the sensation (somatic). Or it can be incorporated as part of role play or power exchange – done as a reward or punishment. Some people get excited by being a “dirty girl” or “dirty boy” or by “making” someone else be dirty. Or it can be a mixture of sensate based and role play/power exchange

    • Oky fine

    • Its my first coach, thanks a lot

    • I would like to know if it is done with a women what might be the reaction????

    • How extreme/wild reaction could i expect?

Nikki Lundberg It depends on her beliefs about her anus. Her beliefs will influence what sensations she is open to feeling

Nikki Lundberg For many there is a lot of shame around the asshole. Others couldn’t care less.

    • how you feel?

    • Do you feel wild and horny? When to use it for women?

Nikki Lundberg I’m sorry I don’t understand your question. Can you rephrase?

    • how do you feel if of anniligus?

    • Do you like it?

Nikki Lundberg I usually like it

Nikki Lundberg But I had to get over a lot of mental barriers around anal play before I like it

    • Do you feel wild and horney?

Nikki Lundberg At this very moment? No

    • But i brings arousal to you?

Nikki Lundberg usually

    • Ok, I got it I wanted to know does it really brings arousal or not?

Nikki Lundberg No person is the same. Physically is can bring arousal. But if there are mental blocks then it won’t. It totally depends on your partner.

    • Thanks! a lot

Nikki Lundberg You are very welcome:)

Bottom of Form

 

Sexual Orientation Question

Question: 

I’m married and live a straight lifestyle in every way except – I have an attraction to beautiful feminine T-girls.  Am I considered gay, bi or straight?

Answer:

Sexual orientation is not black and white – it is a continuum, a scale with many numbers and shades of grey between one extreme and the other.

Along that continuum you would be considered hetero-flexible or bi-sexual. I would say hetero-flexible personally because you will only be with certain people with male genitals under certain circumstances.

You’re not alone in this:)

Send your sex and sexuality questions to me at nikki@nikkilundberg.com

Clitoris For Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Inspired by V-day this whole month I’ve been focusing on all things vagina – the vulva, squirting, and today I’ll be sharing a few things about the clitoris.

  1. Did you know the clitoris is the only organ in the human body created for the purpose of experiencing pleasure?  Yup, that’s all it does.
  2. The clitoris is actually fairly large.  The part that is visible is called the glans and that is only the very tip.
  3. The clitoris itself does not actually produce or secrete any type of fluid.

The Clitoris | For Pleasure Only

In many ways the clitoris can be compared to the penis but the one way it differs – the penis is a multi-tasker while the clitoris has only one purpose- to feel pleasure.  Many people are disconnected from their bodies in general and their genitals in particular.  Through relaxation and mindful masturbation we can get in touch with our genitals.  As a woman, you can tap into an immense amount of pleasure.  This is because of the clitoris and the way it works inside our bodies.

The Clitoris Is Bigger Than You Might Realize

Attached by ligaments at the pubic symphysis (where the two hip bones meet in the middle), the mons peeks out from beneath the protective hood.  beneath the hood is the body.  Once inside it separates into 2 sections.  Called the crus, these legs extend the length of the labia and encircle the vaginal canal creating the corpus cavernosum.  Then, the clitoris has another extension on each side called the crura.  This leg extends down through the perineum and even alongside the anus attaching to the pudendal nerve.

Here are pictures showing what I’m talking about:

MRI clitoris side view from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris side view from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from side.  Pic from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side. Pic from museumofsex.com

MRI clitoris top view.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris top view. Image from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from top.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from top. Image from museumofsex.com

Image from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/5013866.stm

Image from news.bbc.co.uk

Clitoris drawn from side at rest.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side at rest. Image from museumofsex.com

The Clitoris Does Not Produce Fluid

The vagina secrets many types of fluid, and urine comes from the urethra, but many mistakenly assume that the clitoris produces some type of fluid as well.  The entire vaginal area is made up of erectile tissue (much like a penis) and it has an area of spongy tissue called vestibular bulbs or skene’s glands.  These become engorged during arousal – like the penis – and this is where the ejaculate comes from.  These glands run along side the clitoris below the surface of the labia.  During high arousal and with the right kind of pressure they can release fluid that is very similar to the prostatic fluid created in the male prostate.  The ducts for these glands exit into the opening of the urethra – the opening of which is below the clitoris and just inside the introitus (opening) of the vagina.

Clitoris and bulbs/skene's glands

Clitoris and bulbs/skene’s glands

Why would you want to know all this?  The more aware you are (whether you are the one with the pussy or the one loving on the pussy) the better you will be able to stimulate that pussy.  Just knowing all this is going on under the surface will influence how you treat the area and key you in more deeply to the experience which makes for more pleasure.  And that’s what great sex is all about, right?!

Vulva Stimulation And The Squirting Orgasm2-12-13

Enter your info below to get the purchase link for my new DVD “The Squirting Orgasm”.  This 2 DVD set contains video of my live class, the in class demonstration, and two examples of squirting orgasms.  It comes with a download of the “Guide To Vulva Stimulation | Touches, Strokes And Techniques For Full Female Arousal“.

Retail price: $39.95.  On sale for Valentines Day for $24.95 plus shipping and handling.

Name
Email

 

Vulva Victory!

human vulva

Source: http://www.gghospital.in/Normalreproduction.htm

The word vulva means the outside portion of a woman’s vagina.

The word victory is defined as:

1: the overcoming of an enemy or antagonist

2: achievement of mastery or success in a struggle or endeavor against odds or difficulties

I think many of us approach pussies as something to overcome or master.  Many struggles and difficulties come along with the potential for pleasure.

In my video on female ejaculation I talk about how one of my intentions with that class was model how to discuss and communicate about giving and receiving pleasure.  By listening to the class and seeing the demonstration and my interaction with my model the participants were able to get the words they needed to explore female pleasure.

In the video I talk about taking time.  Stimulate the woman’s entire body.  When you do head toward her vagina go from the outside in.  Start with the mons, the part right above the pussy (vulva) and below the belly.  Start with light touch, grazing the surface.  If there’s hair play with it stimulating the follicles.  Communicate with her throughout about what she does and doesn’t like.  Different amounts of pressure will affect different nerves.  Slowly go deeper.

Pubic Symphysis

Source: http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/encyclopedia/Pregnancy/Symphysis-Pubis-Dysfunction-%28SPD%29&page=4

Directly below the mons is the pubic symphysis and hip bones.  For many women it feels good to get massaged firmly in this area because there are a lot of ligaments attached.  It can be sexually stimulating because the ligaments are holding the uterus and other pelvic muscles in place so as you are relaxing and massaging the attachments your are indirectly stimulating the clitoris.

More about the clitoris and it’s reach in my next article.

Female Ejaculation DVD

Today I am meeting with the DVD duplication company.  There is a lot more to producing a DVD than I realized!  Today I will be giving him my edited videos of the female squirting orgasm class plus 2 or 3 pieces of video that show female ejaculation.  Then they will make the master DVD with the menu and every thing.  Turns out it will need to be a 2 DVD set because I have so much content!

The price might go up after my consultation with him.  Right now I have the retail price set for $39.95.

I am offering an early bird pre-order special that ends tonight at midnight of $19.95 + S&H.

Sign up below to get the purchase info

Name
Email

Female Ejaculation | Squirting Orgasm | Class Video

Pencil illustration from "Sex for One" by Betty Dodson, 1986 for female ejaculation post

Pencil illustration from “Sex for One” by Betty Dodson, 1986

Happy February!  In honor of V-day (Valentine’s Day) I’m going to focus on the vulva and vagina this month.  I often talk about the anatomy of pleasure and I even made up a new word – vaginatomy!

Last week I hosted a female squirting orgasm class/party.  The party part didn’t really happen but the class was a huge success!  I also video taped it and am about to start burning copies… If you’re interested in getting one read to the end of this email to find out how.

Female ejaculation is so interesting to so many – I think it’s because it seems so mysterious.  And because not every woman does it.  Almost any female can do it (there is the very rare exception).  While 10% or so squirt without trying and the rest can learn if they want to.  It’s a matter of retraining your vaginal muscles to push out during an orgasm instead of pulling in.  That pushing out applies pressure to what are called the Skene’s Glands or vestibules – pockets of spongy tissue just below the surface of the vulva on either side of the vaginal opening.  The pressure from pushing can be increased with your fingers either by externally rubbing in a downward motion from the clit area to the vaginal opening or by internally rubbing the front of the vaginal wall pulling out in the “come hither” motion.  The fluid exits from the opening of the urethra.

female ejaculation coachMany women may be ejaculating without even knowing it.  The amount of fluid can vary from a few ounces to cups at the extreme.  It’s tough to notice smaller amounts because they get lost in the shuffle of pussy juice, lube and cum.  Also, the fluid often doesn’t squirt – it comes out as more of a gush.

Ladies:

Do you squirt/ejaculate?  Do you have any experiences you like to share?  Do you have any questions you’d like to ask?  Would you like to share any pictures or videos?

Men:

What do you think about female ejaculation?

Female Squirting Orgasm Video

This DVD will featured the half hour class followed by the half hour demo.  I’m also going to put on some clips of my other videos that show squirting.  The retail price with be $39.95 but you can pre-order it by Wednesday for $19.95.

Sign up here to get the purchase info.

Name
Email

Couples Sex Coaching For Pleasure Session Part Two

couple holding hands - couples sex coachingI offer lots of options during individual and couples sex coaching sessions.  One option is nudity – either partial or full.  I will follow my clients comfort levels regarding this – but I may push a little too if it will help to move the session along.

I feel that being naked takes away many barriers and almost instantly releases shame around our bodies in general and our genitals in particular.  Nudity also usually generates arousal and with arousal we can work even deeper with your sex and sexuality interests.

Although her practice is very different than mine, Sarah White explains beautifully about how being naked can be extremely therapeutic.  Click here to visit her site and read all about her method of Naked Therapy.

Couples Sex Coaching Session

Their comfort level is full nudity.  I set up the massage table and give him instructions to undress and lay face-down while I use the restroom and wash my hands.  I come out nude and begin the massage while she sits on the bed.

As I massage him the three of us discuss our sexuality.  I ask questions about their successes and challenges and share my own.  By having such an intimate atmosphere they are able to open up quickly and we are able to discuss things on a very deep level almost immediately.

When I get to the buttocks area I demonstrate and explain slow, loving touch that will be easy for her to give and very sensual and pleasurable for him to receive.  Sometimes it’s better to go slower and softer.  The genital and anal area sometimes benefit from simply being held while aroused without any movement.

He likes anal stimulation but she doesn’t love to give it – she will do it sometimes as a treat.  Many couples find themselves in this situation  – one partner enjoys something more (much more) than the other.  There are usually reasons for the dislike of any activity and usually they can be managed if not overcome altogether.  For this couple to have more anal play for him I suggest they incorporate gloves in the bedroom.  Using gloves will increase her confidence that she will not inadvertently hurt him and it will reduce her concerns about messiness.  They could take it a step further by having him give himself an enema before their play.

Couples Sex Coaching For Pleasure Session Part One

couples sex coaching

How do you (and your partner) know if you’re ready for couples sex coaching?  If you’ve had fantasies and curiosities for a long time and haven’t been able to move forward.  If you wan to add a little zing to your sex life – to spice things up.  If otherwise things are terrific but you would like a distraction from the everyday grind – an you want to be distracted together.

In preparation for a couples session I find out how long you’ve been together, what your current relationship is like, if you’ve discussed all the various foreseeable outcomes of our time together and a short sexual history for each of you.  We trouble shoot in advance the main issues that could crop up as a result of working with me and how to deal with them.  We do this via email.

Although it’s ideal to work with me for a series of sessions, many of my clients come in from out of town and can only see me once.  Over the next week or so I will be sharing the process I recently went through with a couple that worked with me recently.

Couples Sex Coaching Session

I get to the room and introduce myself and talk a bit about my week and my background to set the tone of friendliness and support.  Through discussion with her I determine her true level of comfort – up until that point I had only interacted with the husband through email.  I explain my boundaries and goals for the session.  I make sure she knows this session is about them and their pleasure, not mine.  I will be interactive only to their comfort level and at any time that could increase or decrease and that is okay.  We will have constant communication throughout the session to check in on how they are feeling and let that be our guide.

I explain to them that there are several reasons that bringing in a professional is a great choice:

  1. By having a session you are putting your experience into a container that has a beginning and an end.  Afterward, you can review what you liked and didn’t like and there’s not a lingering question of whether the experience was complete or not.
  2. You won’t be worried about any emotional romantic issues coming back to haunt your marriage.
  3. It’s a more relaxing situation than trying to pick somebody up in the bar and not knowing what you’re going to get – what their skill level is sexually or what their motives are.
  4. Whatever pleasure I give to one partner the other partner gets the credit for it.

We review their interests as a couple.  He loves massage and all touch so he will be getting a full body sensual rubdown.  Then they want to review different handjob and blowjob techniques.  For her turn she wants to be pleasured.  She’s never “been with a woman” before and this has been a very exciting idea for the two of them.

 Other Resources

Want to learn more about erotic massage?  Visit one of the following sites for detailed instructional videos.

http://NikkisLessons.com

http://EroticMassage.com