I started masturbating very young, realizing that it felt good to put pressure and friction “down there”. There was a time when I started to notice climax. And then I started experimenting with penetration.
As I became sexually active I continued to masturbate. I only noticed climax during masturbation. I never used anything battery operated (vibrators felt tickly or painful). The only porn I used was the promo magazines for the “dancers to you” that are free here in Vegas.
In my early 20’s I began to use erotica. I began to feel when I had a climax during partner sex.
In my late 20’s I began to use porn online. With a small child and a new business achieving climax as fast as possible was the goal.
As a sex educator I began to experiment with different vibrating devices – rabbits, bullets, Hitachis. I don’t generally use them but I did experiment with them. I also learned all I could about pleasure and arousal and climax and what it means to be in an orgasmic state.
The older I’ve gotten the more pleasure I’ve been able to experience and the longer it has taken me to have a clitoral climax.
This last time takes the cake though. Almost 2 weeks. To have a climax.
I’m truly re-evaluating my relationship with climax right now. It seems that as I’ve become more and more mindful of what makes my body feel good the more pleasure I experience. I have been in an orgasmic state time and time again during these last 2 weeks – either by masturbation, orgasmic meditation, or partner sex – but feeling good and orgasmic did not include climax.
Even though I’m practicing mindful masturbation and focusing on sensation only I did try using erotica and porn a couple of times because I truly desired a release (old habits are hard to break) but even those did not push me over the edge.
What does this mean? I feel like now that my pussy is awake she cannot go back to sleep. She is enjoying all the attention and pleasure. Maybe it’s just now that I’ve been able to truly approach sex and pleasure without a goal or agenda.
Whatever it is, I’m grateful for all I know, for all the pleasure I’ve experienced and for the big climax I had last night.
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