The first step to improve your sex life is to acknowledge what has already happened. This is the hard work that many of us try to avoid.
Taking stock of the current state of affairs and the past can be very helpful. It can also be harmful.
Try the following two exercises:(tip: read all the suggestions first before starting)
Get into your body. Breath deeply and notice how you feel in the moment.
With a pen and paper make a list of all the things that aren’t the way you want them to be in your sex life. Acknowledge them. Contrast brings clarity but only if you see it.
Notice your physical sensations. Notice when things feel bad in your body. Avoid being too hard on yourself and dwelling in the negative.
Be as objective as possible. You are noticing and acknowledging, not judging.
Release the negative feelings you have tied to these things. The best way to do this is to take personal responsibility for your experience. That gives you the power to change your future experiences. If someone else seems to be to blame take a deep breath and look at how you might have put yourself in the position to be hurt.
Once you have completed the above exercise pause, breath, and move on to the next exercise.
It’s time to look at the positives.
Make sure you’re in your body.
Again with the pen and paper – write down all the things that are good/positive/going the way you want.
Make this list as long as your first list and then add 5 more things.
This exercise will help you to develop an attitude of gratitude and will help you to operate on a higher vibration making it easier to attract and manifest those things that bring you pleasure.
Find someone to share these lists with. If you can’t find someone you are welcome to send them to me. Why? Because being witnessed is the best way to release shame. Chances are you have some shame around the things that didn’t go well. By sharing them and putting the light of day on them their power diminishes. You may also get great feedback that can aid in acknowledging and releasing the negativity!
All the kinky people in the community are probably thinking about enemas,
douches and the like and while I would be happy to share info on those
topics (just ask) that is not what I had in mind.
I am actually going to talk about a spring cleaning for your thoughts and beliefs
about sex and sexuality. I work with a mentor and she has taught me a lot
about beliefs and how to let go of the ones that don’t make me happy.
People ask me a lot of questions about sex but the #1 question is how did I get
into this line of work. They want to know how I could be doing something so
different from social norms. They want to know how I do what I do happily and
with a clear conscience against the way most of us were brought up.
I think the reasons they ask me are different for different people. Some are
simply curious but many wish they could do the same thing. Not that they want
to work in the adult industry but because they want to experience the sexual
freedom and happiness that it looks like I’m having. Because all the sexual
knowledge in the world doesn’t make much difference if you can’t make the
decision to take action and put it into practice.
I have learned through years of personal growth meetings and workshops to
make self-inventory a part of my daily life. By incorporating the additional piece
of examining my beliefs, letting go of the ones that don’t work for me and
embracing the ones that do I have been able to create a life-style beyond my
I invite you to join me now in examining personal beliefs around sex and sexuality
so you too can clean out and release the beliefs that don’t work for you and
experience the best sex life possible.