Cultivating Pleasure

Cultivate Pleasure With Sex Coach NikkiTo cultivate is to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill).  In what ways do you cultivate yourself?  Are you mindful about what you do in preparation of receiving what you desire?  Do you have conscious daily practices in place?

In the past these concepts were foreign to me.  I knew about wanting to have a better life.  I knew that I had to do something different than my parents if I wanted a different experience.  But I had no idea where to start.  I was open to suggestions…  and that’s when I started on my journey.

I learned ways to let go of what I already knew so I could embrace new ideas and beliefs.  I became willing to try new things, to play and experiment, and to push to the edge of my comfort zone often.

Things that worked were honesty, positivity, creativity, and exploration.  During this process I learned new skills, picked up new habits and ultimately began to take on higher level practices.  These are all bringing me what I desire and preparing me for even more!

Here is a list of practices I do on a regular basis – if not daily – that cultivate me for the life I desire.

  • fellowship
  • Orgasmic Meditation
  • Masturbation Meditation
  • exercise
  • mindfully eat whole food
  • journal
  • immerse myself in learning environments
  • have family time
  • play

What’s amazing is that the more I take care of myself the more it seems my life is taken care for me.

I’ve been doing a lot with Orgasmic Meditation (OM) and while I love it, when it comes down to it, OM is a partnered practice.  With Masturbation Meditation you can have your practice solo.

For the last 3 years every May I’ve offered the 30 Day Self Pleasure Program for Masturbation Awareness Month.  This year I’m revamping it completely, adding all I’ve learned, and putting it together to present to you with a bow on top.

If you are interested in receiving the details as things develop Email me at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com and I’ll make sure you get all the insider info.

Practice

practicePractice
prac•tice noun
1. habitual or customary performance; operation
2. habit; custom
3. repeated performance or systematic exercise for the purpose of acquiring skill or proficiency
4. condition arrived at by experience or exercise
5. the action or process of performing or doing something
6. the exercise or pursuit of a profession or occupation, especially law or medicine
7. the business of a professional person

This is the word on my mind this morning as I think about what I am inspired to share with you today. I want to practice coaching. I went to an immersion weekend where I learned a lot about coaching and I’m aching to practice what I’ve learned. It’s the same ache that inspires me to learn more and more about sex and pleasure. It’s the ache – the desire – that motivates me to reach out and be as effective and productive as I can be.

I began the adventure of entrepreneurship 10 years ago. I began my sexual adventures 6 years ago. 4 years ago I fused the two as I experienced two things:

1. I needed a business based on my true passion
2. People are in a lot of pain around sex and sexuality and could use some help

Working with a mentor was key for my growth. Having someone to put their full exquisite attention on me and my life who had “been there and done that” is invaluable. This is what I’ve wanted to do for others – to be able to go deeper and have a stronger connection so they can manifest their desires.

desireNow I’m in a program that is teaching me some amazing coaching techniques. But like a dream, as time moves me further away from my class some of the things I learned are wafting and evaporating away. I feel a sense of urgency to practice what I learned ASAP.

Do you have an ache – a desire – that needs some exquisite nourishing attention? Do you need someone to put their finger on the just the right spot, to hold you or stimulate you according to the direction you are moving in?

I am at your service.

red line

Sex Coach NikkiHere’s my offer:

20 minute telephone sessions for $47 –
• limit 2 sessions per person
• can be used together or separately
• valid for one year
• includes a recording of the call

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:::

20 minute video chat session for $57 –
• limit 2 sessions per person
• can be used together or separately
• valid for one year
• includes a recording of the chat

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My Masturbation Awareness

As a kid I began my masturbation as I explored my vagina in the privacy of my own room.  I experienced more and more pleasure and I first identified my orgasm at around 10 or 11 years old.  After making out with a boy who penetrated me with his finger I started experimenting with internal stimulation.  That was where my masturbation practice stayed until my mid twenties.  I experimented with vibrators and found them to be too intense and more of a distraction than helpful.  I also started exploring anal stimulation during my solo sessions once a partner tried anal sex with me during partner sex.

I almost always masturbated during partner sex – I found out through masturbation that it was only through direct clitoral stimulation that I was able to reach orgasm (or so I thought).   I would masturbate if I was tired and wanted to fall asleep quickly.  I would masturbate if I was horny.  When I began my journey as a sex educator I started to masturbate for new reasons – to know myself more deeply, to learn new things sexually and to meditate.

The masturbation meditation that I have practiced has provided some amazing insights both for myself and for those I have worked with.  Through direct hands on practice we can intimately learn our own anatomy of pleasure and how to have a deeper and more expanded experience of that pleasure.  We can work through issues we have with ourselves around sex, love, intimacy and image as lightning speed.  We reach a new level of self knowledge that allows us to communicate much more effectively with our lovers.

By having masturbation meditation as a practice I was able to learn how to improve my sex muscles.  This allowed my orgasms to become stronger.  With continued practice I was able to identify more subtle peaks, climaxes and orgasms in my body and enjoy a broader spectrum of pleasure.  I also learned how to ejaculate.

Meditation had never been a strong point in my life.  I had desire for it but it wasn’t until I joined a class that had daily masturbation meditation as part of the curriculum that I was able to have the consistency I craved.  Doing it with the teachers leading and the other students sharing experiences gave me the structure and the payoff that I needed to stick with it.  Some of them went on to keep it as a daily practice after the course. 0 I did it daily for the course which was 2 months long and after that sporadically.

That 2 month experience changed my sex for the better.  I found not only through direct personal experience but also through the experiences of my classmates that deep and profound progress could be made in the areas of overcoming sexual dysfunction, increasing sexual pleasure, smoothing emotions and opening the spirit.  That is why I have made it one of the bedrocks of my sex education programs.  The power of sexual healing in real and we all hold it in our own hands.

As Masturbation Awareness Month approaches I will be sharing more about how you can get these same benefits in your life.

Click Here to find out about the upcoming 30 Day Self Pleasure Program

 

 

 

A Fresh Start For Your Sex Life In 3 Steps

Fresh start in your sex lifeIt’s December and I love it when a new month starts!

I know we can start fresh anytime – and, for some reason turning to a new calendar month helps a little more. It’s like I mentally and emotionally loosen my energetic grip a bit.

Why would you want to start fresh?

Whether what’s happened before was good or was bad (in my judgement) it can take the power out of our present if we don’t release it.  If it was bad we can be dragged down by the negativity.  If it was good we could rest on our laurels and be under motivated in the present.  My November was mostly great personally and professionally and while that is exciting I also had a few things happen that I didn’t love.

By letting go of all that has happened previously and starting new I can open myself up to not only living in the present but also feeling my desire, benefiting from the energy of that desire, feeling the strength of my sex drive and libido, and make sure I’m on track with my sexual health and sexual progress.

There’s a saying

“If you live with one foot in yesterday and one in tomorrow you’re pissing all over today”.

Is starting fresh a challenge?

If you are struggling with making a fresh start I have a few suggestions that might help the process.

  1. Acknowledge what has already happened.
  2. Find a way to release it.
  3. Fantasize and visualize how you want things to be.

I’ll be sharing more about each of these steps in the coming week so make sure to sign up for my newsletter by claiming your free vulva stimulation guide on the right=====>

Too Busy For Sex?

too busy for sex?  Sex Coach Nikki can helpI have been making some updates to this site the last couple of days and just realized that I haven’t written a blog post for over 2 months.  Unbelievable!  I mean, I get lots of satisfaction from writing.  It helps with all kinds of things – helping people, SEO, creating community, etc. yet I went without.

Why?

I was too busy.

I kept putting it off.  I forgot about it.  When I did think of it the time wasn’t right.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?  You put off something you know you like and benefit from due to seemingly good reasons and before you knew it a very long time has passed?

This happens a lot with sex and intimacy.  The obstacles are different for different people but the result is the same – a feeling of having missed out.  Other feelings are overwhelm at the prospect of getting started up again, embarrassment or shame for for having dropped the ball, anger and resentment at self for failing… lots of negatives.

Acknowledge and move on.

As much as every day can be a new beginning, so can every hug, every show of affection, every kind word.  Do what you need to do to start over.

Having a hard time with that?  That’s where someone like me comes in.  Find someone to talk to that can help you process through the crap and start fresh.  Someone who can help you identify your story or programming and break it up if it’s not working for you.

That’s the process I’m going through now with all my websites.  I’m grateful I don’t have to do that with my sex and sexuality (this time).

Clitoris For Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Inspired by V-day this whole month I’ve been focusing on all things vagina – the vulva, squirting, and today I’ll be sharing a few things about the clitoris.

  1. Did you know the clitoris is the only organ in the human body created for the purpose of experiencing pleasure?  Yup, that’s all it does.
  2. The clitoris is actually fairly large.  The part that is visible is called the glans and that is only the very tip.
  3. The clitoris itself does not actually produce or secrete any type of fluid.

The Clitoris | For Pleasure Only

In many ways the clitoris can be compared to the penis but the one way it differs – the penis is a multi-tasker while the clitoris has only one purpose- to feel pleasure.  Many people are disconnected from their bodies in general and their genitals in particular.  Through relaxation and mindful masturbation we can get in touch with our genitals.  As a woman, you can tap into an immense amount of pleasure.  This is because of the clitoris and the way it works inside our bodies.

The Clitoris Is Bigger Than You Might Realize

Attached by ligaments at the pubic symphysis (where the two hip bones meet in the middle), the mons peeks out from beneath the protective hood.  beneath the hood is the body.  Once inside it separates into 2 sections.  Called the crus, these legs extend the length of the labia and encircle the vaginal canal creating the corpus cavernosum.  Then, the clitoris has another extension on each side called the crura.  This leg extends down through the perineum and even alongside the anus attaching to the pudendal nerve.

Here are pictures showing what I’m talking about:

MRI clitoris side view from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris side view from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from side.  Pic from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side. Pic from museumofsex.com

MRI clitoris top view.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris top view. Image from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from top.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from top. Image from museumofsex.com

Image from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/5013866.stm

Image from news.bbc.co.uk

Clitoris drawn from side at rest.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side at rest. Image from museumofsex.com

The Clitoris Does Not Produce Fluid

The vagina secrets many types of fluid, and urine comes from the urethra, but many mistakenly assume that the clitoris produces some type of fluid as well.  The entire vaginal area is made up of erectile tissue (much like a penis) and it has an area of spongy tissue called vestibular bulbs or skene’s glands.  These become engorged during arousal – like the penis – and this is where the ejaculate comes from.  These glands run along side the clitoris below the surface of the labia.  During high arousal and with the right kind of pressure they can release fluid that is very similar to the prostatic fluid created in the male prostate.  The ducts for these glands exit into the opening of the urethra – the opening of which is below the clitoris and just inside the introitus (opening) of the vagina.

Clitoris and bulbs/skene's glands

Clitoris and bulbs/skene’s glands

Why would you want to know all this?  The more aware you are (whether you are the one with the pussy or the one loving on the pussy) the better you will be able to stimulate that pussy.  Just knowing all this is going on under the surface will influence how you treat the area and key you in more deeply to the experience which makes for more pleasure.  And that’s what great sex is all about, right?!

Vulva Stimulation And The Squirting Orgasm2-12-13

Enter your info below to get the purchase link for my new DVD “The Squirting Orgasm”.  This 2 DVD set contains video of my live class, the in class demonstration, and two examples of squirting orgasms.  It comes with a download of the “Guide To Vulva Stimulation | Touches, Strokes And Techniques For Full Female Arousal“.

Retail price: $39.95.  On sale for Valentines Day for $24.95 plus shipping and handling.

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Travel | Sex | Intimacy

Summer is in full swing (June 20th or 21st is the
official first day of summer depending on the website
you look at) and for a lot of people that means travel.

If you’d like to share your thoughts on travel &
sex / intimacy please do and you’ll get a thank you
gift from me:)

http://svy.mk/NpudD3

I’ll be covering this topic on Saturday night at 8pm PST
on my radio show “Between The Sheets”.

between the sheets

I personally enjoy traveling and am planning on doing
more of it during the second half of the year.
Let me know if you want me to come to your city since
I will follow where business takes me:)
I already know I’ll be in LA during the second weekend
of August to speak at the New You Event
(save $398 when you use my code – the word sexy)
that will be all about health, wealth and relationships.

sex travel

Right now I’m planning a personal trip and for the
first time I’m actually taking sex and intimacy into
account for the trip. In the past I just left it up to chance
and sometimes it happened and sometimes it didn’t.

We usually travel on the cheap staying with friends
and family which I love but sometimes that can infringe
on sexy time since we didn’t want to be too loud or
get interrupted.

Of course, there’s almost zero chance of sexy time
happening on a trip when we bring my daughter
since we share a room and …
well, sometimes she’s a light sleeper.

blue balls

This short trip is the first time hubby and I are traveling
without her in years and I’m starting to research a bit
about the night life of San Diego.  Although we’ll be
busy during the day we might try to check out a swingers
club at night if we have energy:)

Recent private lessons have been amazing!

Couples traveling to Las Vegas on their vacations have
been having private lessons with me on a variety of topics:

  • How to help her enjoy anal penetration
  • How to find her g-spot
  • How to give a better blow job
  • How to incorporate power exchange (Dominant and submissive)
  • How to find his prostate
  • How to massage his cock
  • Tease and denial for him

If you are interested in a lesson/session send me an
email with your interest.  Sessions start at $300 and
educational packages are available at a discount.

I look forward to reading about your travel practices and
giving lots of thank you gifts!

Again, the link to take the survey is

http://svy.mk/NpudD3

Make It A Sexy Day,
Nikki

This me in front of Cesar’s Palace after a couples appointment:)

Nikki at Cesar's

 

 

3 Simple Steps to Rekindle Desire

To get anything good first you have to desire it.  Desire is a powerful energy that is part of the manifestation process.

Unfortunately, many people want to want better sex.  They like the idea of it.  But they aren’t doing the right things to increase their desire and getting themselves to the point of getting and maintaining desire long enough for better sex to manifest.

Here are 3 steps to re-kindled your sexual desire:

  1. Decide that sex matters.  Have a heart to heart with your spouse.  You both need to decide that intimacy is a high priority.  Review your history to see that your relationship works better with intimacy than without it.  Also, make sure that staying married and having a good relationship is a #1 priority (many of us just take that for granted.  Actually bring it into your awareness and your conversation).  Once you decide as a couple that you would prefer to stay married and have a great relationship then you can begin to focus on your sexual intimacy.
  2. Start fantasizing.  Daydream about different scenarios, discuss them with your partner and learn more about them from online.  Your largest sexual organ is your brain and getting in the game mentally will greatly increase you desire.  This is a process and you need to engage in these activities on a regular basis to create the new thinking patterns in you brain.  Once you have new pathways or grooves around sex and you have practice accessing them you will find it much easier to become aroused.
  3. Start experimenting.  Love, sex, sensuality etc. all can be kick started by taking action.  Sex and sexual energy operate on a feedback loop.  You have good sex and you want more.  You want good sex so you have it.  So on and so forth.  Be proactive and get your feedback loop going in a positive direction.  Ultimately you are in control of your sex drive.

Practice these 3 steps as often as you can.  If you need a quick change in this area then make sure to devote some time each day.  Start out alone if you are not comfortable discussing this with your spouse yet.  Make sure you take action right away…even right now!