Connection Thru Masturbation

masturbation coaching with sex coach NikkiConnection and wanting to feel connected are high on everyone’s list.  These are also potential benefits of mindful masturbation!

How does this happen?

When you create a mindful masturbation practice (with or without masturbation coaching) you begin to sensitize yourself to more subtle physical stimulation.  Part of sensitizing yourself is improving your attention (both the quality of your attention as well as the quantity or span).  This sensitivity to subtle sensations and improved attention shows up in all areas of your life.  You will be more likely to pick up on subtle cues and clues from those around you to know what they are trying to communicate and how they are feeling.

If you are interested in working with a sex coach online or a sex coach in Las Vegas you should set up an exploratory session with Sex Coach Nikki. Exploratory sessions are free. Email her at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com or text her at 702.674.6606 to schedule a time for an initial chat.

Although Nikki is not a licensed sex therapist working with her is very therapeutic and could have many benefits for your sex life and your sexual health. She coaches in person, over the phone and on skype.  Masturbation coaching is her favorite tool!  Masturbation done mindfully and with purpose can help improve libido, give you control over premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation, lead to becoming multi-orgasmic, ease pain during sex (for both genders) as well as make your solo sex life more satisfying and give you the capacity to feel more connected to the people around you.

Anal, Bali, Masturbation | Checking in

Anal Update

The “Art Of Anal Pleasure” class was AMAZING.  We had a full house and 2 amazing demonstration models.  One was a gentleman who was a very experienced anal player who got to have his limits stretched by having an audience view his play.  The second was a beautiful mature woman who on the outside seemed so sweet and innocent but once she got naked and I had my strap-on in place she was voracious!  I was able to demonstrate all the anal positions I know with her.  Everyone learned something new and a good time was had by all.  I look forward to Anal August:)

Bali Trip

sex coach nikki gets a happy ending massage in Bali

All male therapists at this spa:)

I went to Bali for the end of April to attend a women’s retreat.  It was transformational.  Without the hustle and bustle of everyday life I was able to feel into some deep desires.  Several came up.  Here are some:

  • to work with more people as a sex coach over the phone and over skype
  • to work with more women in a healing capacity – helping with painful sex and numbness
  • to partner up with other professionals so I can have company when I’m working
  • to have more fun in my business

I’m so happy to be back home.  I love love love so many things here in Vegas – my family, my business…  I definitely missed it all.

Did you know that there are not any sex toy stores in Bali, Indonesia?  I did not until I was looking for one.  I was going to indulge in buying a new sex toy – part of the the point of the retreat was self care so I wanted to make sure to take care of myself sexually as well – and no one could help me.  I finally found out that it wasn’t legal in Bally.

So when we had a free day I sought out a happy ending massage:)  Actually, I’d already gotten a few massages (they are only $15 an hour there) but none of the girls would go there with me.  I was finally able to get some relief when I went to an all male therapist place.  I had this 25 year old island boy and he was very good at taking direction:)  I felt MUCH better after that.

Happy Masturbation Month!!!

sex coach Nikki, masturbation month, masturbation coachYup, May is masturbation month.  It’s something I love personally and professionally.  Professionally it’s one of the most important tools I use in my sex coaching.  There are many things you can incorporate into masturbation that will have a therapeutic benefit to either overcome sexual dysfunction or expand a person’s experience of pleasure.  I’m truly enjoying the work I do with people that includes masturbation coaching.  It creates a deep connection very quickly and that helps us move through issues powerfully and completely.

I put up a couple if informational videos on my youtube channel for masturbation month.  What do you think?  Click here to visit my channel

How are you?  How may I be of service to you this summer?

Please take a moment to drop a note with an update about you and yours.  Ask me any questions you might have.  Let me know if something I’ve shared has helped you out.

Monogamy Vs. Non-Monogamy | Social Conditioning

The hardest part of “coming out” was to acknowledge and accept that I am not monogamous to myself. I felt a lot of judgment for myself because of the stories/programming/conditioning I had around what monogamy and non-monogamy meant. Their meaning didn’t match up to my definition of self and that meant I was going to be out of integrity with myself – and for me that is like being in purgatory. I have to be right with myself first or nothing else works.

wedding ringsHere are the characteristics that came with monogamy according to my conditioning: a person who is monogamous is caring, loyal, loving, dependable, reliable, humble, trustworthy. They are able to put the needs of the many before the needs of the individual and therefore are also more generous, fair and civil minded than others. These characteristics would also manifest in every other area of their life so that a monogamous person will also have a great work ethic, contribute to society, always take care of their own family and so on and so forth.

On the other hand, I had the belief that the characteristics of a non-monogamous person: dishonest, selfish, self centered, careless, driven by lust, couldn’t care about family or bonds. They would put their own needs ahead of anyone else’s at whatever cost to the other people as long as they were satisfied. These people were not to be trusted or relied upon under any circumstances. They would suck others into their deceitful manipulative lifestyle any chance they got.

So you can see how I had a hard time accepting being non-monogamous. I did my best to practice the values of the monogamous person. A part of me was dying inside because I wasn’t being true to myself. I couldn’t reconcile the differences between how I felt inside (non-monogamous) and the kind of life I wanted to live (positive and generative). It is only through experiencing acceptance, tolerance, love and approval from others and myself that I have been able to see that these definitions have nothing to do with reality. They have to do with social norms, control, repression, and shame.

My Masturbation Awareness

As a kid I began my masturbation as I explored my vagina in the privacy of my own room.  I experienced more and more pleasure and I first identified my orgasm at around 10 or 11 years old.  After making out with a boy who penetrated me with his finger I started experimenting with internal stimulation.  That was where my masturbation practice stayed until my mid twenties.  I experimented with vibrators and found them to be too intense and more of a distraction than helpful.  I also started exploring anal stimulation during my solo sessions once a partner tried anal sex with me during partner sex.

I almost always masturbated during partner sex – I found out through masturbation that it was only through direct clitoral stimulation that I was able to reach orgasm (or so I thought).   I would masturbate if I was tired and wanted to fall asleep quickly.  I would masturbate if I was horny.  When I began my journey as a sex educator I started to masturbate for new reasons – to know myself more deeply, to learn new things sexually and to meditate.

The masturbation meditation that I have practiced has provided some amazing insights both for myself and for those I have worked with.  Through direct hands on practice we can intimately learn our own anatomy of pleasure and how to have a deeper and more expanded experience of that pleasure.  We can work through issues we have with ourselves around sex, love, intimacy and image as lightning speed.  We reach a new level of self knowledge that allows us to communicate much more effectively with our lovers.

By having masturbation meditation as a practice I was able to learn how to improve my sex muscles.  This allowed my orgasms to become stronger.  With continued practice I was able to identify more subtle peaks, climaxes and orgasms in my body and enjoy a broader spectrum of pleasure.  I also learned how to ejaculate.

Meditation had never been a strong point in my life.  I had desire for it but it wasn’t until I joined a class that had daily masturbation meditation as part of the curriculum that I was able to have the consistency I craved.  Doing it with the teachers leading and the other students sharing experiences gave me the structure and the payoff that I needed to stick with it.  Some of them went on to keep it as a daily practice after the course. 0 I did it daily for the course which was 2 months long and after that sporadically.

That 2 month experience changed my sex for the better.  I found not only through direct personal experience but also through the experiences of my classmates that deep and profound progress could be made in the areas of overcoming sexual dysfunction, increasing sexual pleasure, smoothing emotions and opening the spirit.  That is why I have made it one of the bedrocks of my sex education programs.  The power of sexual healing in real and we all hold it in our own hands.

As Masturbation Awareness Month approaches I will be sharing more about how you can get these same benefits in your life.

Click Here to find out about the upcoming 30 Day Self Pleasure Program

 

 

 

Improve Your Sex Life part 1

Give Your Sex Life A Fresh Start

sex pen n paper improve your sex lifeThe first step to improve your sex life is to acknowledge what has already happened.  This is the hard work that many of us try to avoid.

Taking stock of the current state of affairs and the past can be very helpful.  It can also be harmful.

Try the following two exercises:(tip: read all the suggestions first before starting)

  1. Get into your body.  Breath deeply and notice how you feel in the moment.
  2. With a pen and paper make a list of all the things that aren’t the way you want them to be in your sex life.  Acknowledge them.  Contrast brings clarity but only if you see it.
  3. Notice your physical sensations.  Notice when things feel bad in your body.  Avoid being too hard on yourself and dwelling in the negative.
  4. Be as objective as possible.  You are noticing and acknowledging, not judging.
  5. Release the negative feelings you have tied to these things.  The best way to do this is to take personal responsibility for your experience.  That gives you the power to change your future experiences.  If someone else seems to be to blame take a deep breath and look at how you might have put yourself in the position to be hurt.

Once you have completed the above exercise pause, breath, and move on to the next exercise.

It’s time to look at the positives.

  1. Make sure you’re in your body.
  2. Again with the pen and paper – write down all the things that are good/positive/going the way you want.
  3. Make this list as long as your first list and then add 5 more things.

This exercise will help you to develop an attitude of gratitude and will help you to operate on a higher vibration making it easier to attract and manifest those things that bring you pleasure.

Find someone to share these lists with.  If you can’t find someone you are welcome to send them to me.  Why?  Because being witnessed is the best way to release shame.  Chances are you have some shame around the things that didn’t go well.  By sharing them and putting the light of day on them their power diminishes.  You may also get great feedback that can aid in acknowledging and releasing the negativity!

A Fresh Start For Your Sex Life In 3 Steps

Fresh start in your sex lifeIt’s December and I love it when a new month starts!

I know we can start fresh anytime – and, for some reason turning to a new calendar month helps a little more. It’s like I mentally and emotionally loosen my energetic grip a bit.

Why would you want to start fresh?

Whether what’s happened before was good or was bad (in my judgement) it can take the power out of our present if we don’t release it.  If it was bad we can be dragged down by the negativity.  If it was good we could rest on our laurels and be under motivated in the present.  My November was mostly great personally and professionally and while that is exciting I also had a few things happen that I didn’t love.

By letting go of all that has happened previously and starting new I can open myself up to not only living in the present but also feeling my desire, benefiting from the energy of that desire, feeling the strength of my sex drive and libido, and make sure I’m on track with my sexual health and sexual progress.

There’s a saying

“If you live with one foot in yesterday and one in tomorrow you’re pissing all over today”.

Is starting fresh a challenge?

If you are struggling with making a fresh start I have a few suggestions that might help the process.

  1. Acknowledge what has already happened.
  2. Find a way to release it.
  3. Fantasize and visualize how you want things to be.

I’ll be sharing more about each of these steps in the coming week so make sure to sign up for my newsletter by claiming your free vulva stimulation guide on the right=====>

Travel | Sex | Intimacy

Summer is in full swing (June 20th or 21st is the
official first day of summer depending on the website
you look at) and for a lot of people that means travel.

If you’d like to share your thoughts on travel &
sex / intimacy please do and you’ll get a thank you
gift from me:)

http://svy.mk/NpudD3

I’ll be covering this topic on Saturday night at 8pm PST
on my radio show “Between The Sheets”.

between the sheets

I personally enjoy traveling and am planning on doing
more of it during the second half of the year.
Let me know if you want me to come to your city since
I will follow where business takes me:)
I already know I’ll be in LA during the second weekend
of August to speak at the New You Event
(save $398 when you use my code – the word sexy)
that will be all about health, wealth and relationships.

sex travel

Right now I’m planning a personal trip and for the
first time I’m actually taking sex and intimacy into
account for the trip. In the past I just left it up to chance
and sometimes it happened and sometimes it didn’t.

We usually travel on the cheap staying with friends
and family which I love but sometimes that can infringe
on sexy time since we didn’t want to be too loud or
get interrupted.

Of course, there’s almost zero chance of sexy time
happening on a trip when we bring my daughter
since we share a room and …
well, sometimes she’s a light sleeper.

blue balls

This short trip is the first time hubby and I are traveling
without her in years and I’m starting to research a bit
about the night life of San Diego.  Although we’ll be
busy during the day we might try to check out a swingers
club at night if we have energy:)

Recent private lessons have been amazing!

Couples traveling to Las Vegas on their vacations have
been having private lessons with me on a variety of topics:

  • How to help her enjoy anal penetration
  • How to find her g-spot
  • How to give a better blow job
  • How to incorporate power exchange (Dominant and submissive)
  • How to find his prostate
  • How to massage his cock
  • Tease and denial for him

If you are interested in a lesson/session send me an
email with your interest.  Sessions start at $300 and
educational packages are available at a discount.

I look forward to reading about your travel practices and
giving lots of thank you gifts!

Again, the link to take the survey is

http://svy.mk/NpudD3

Make It A Sexy Day,
Nikki

This me in front of Cesar’s Palace after a couples appointment:)

Nikki at Cesar's

 

 

Spring is in the air, are you feeling creative? I am!


Do you feel any excitement stirring in your gut about new possibilities
or maybe pain in your gut from irritations of things not done
and projects not started?
I know I have both!

I have soooo many things I want to do and at the same time I am
remembering new years resolutions I made just 4 months ago
that only lasted 3 weeks.

There are other things that I have stuck to and WOW are those things exciting!
One is my position as The AdventureSex Mentor.  I have put some
new content on my site and prepared my first big event.
I am so stinkin’ excited!

As for the resolutions/goals I made at the beginning of the year
I know that I was either not in alignment with them or it was not the
right time for them to manifest.  Now I am re-evaluation those to see if I should re-commit.

My question for you is did you make any goals around relationships
or sexuality?  If you are in a relationship with a significant other did you
evaluate where you were and where you wanted to be?  And if so, did you
have an action plan or break down the goal into bite size pieces to
make sure you had progress?  Did you talk to you partner and
agree on these together?

Also, whether you are in a relationship or not, did you have any fantasies or
desires when it came to performance or experiences?  I know a lot of people end up
using their sexual needs as a distraction from daily life and feel guilty
about pursuing them and only turn to them as a break from the day to day grind.
Then, we feel guilty because we weren’t spending time the way we thought
we should by being “productive”.

I propose a new way of looking at it.  By including sexual goals with the rest of your
life goals you will feel a lot better about indulging in sensual activities.
You will even schedule them into your day and week!  Or you will just know
that at some point almost every day you are going to do something for
your sexual pleasure, growth and progress and will embrace it fully with no
guilt or remorse!

My husband and I both took a good hard look at our relationship in January.
There were some changes that had to be made.  And we also set some goals.
These were sexual in nature and I’m not sure if you want to hear them
but if you need some ideas let me know.

If you set relationship and sexuality goals in January I’d love to hear them!
I’d also like to know your successes and challenges.
Remember me as a resource when you are going through this process.
I promise total discretion and anonymity:)