Do You Have Gratitude For Your Sex?
The World English Dictionary defines gratitude as “a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation, as for a gift or favors”.
Yes, gratitude is a feeling, but in my understanding it is so much more. Gratitude can be an action and an attitude as well. Now apply this to your sex. Take a moment, a deep breath, and check in with your gut and your genitals. When I do this I feel a sense of expansion in my pelvic region.
What do you feel?
Now, reflect on your attitude toward your sex. I have felt different ways about my sex at different times in my life. Now is a time for noticing and not judging. For most of my life and even sometimes nowadays I have not been grateful for my sex. My desires don’t fit with what I’ve been trained to believe is good and acceptable. There have been times that my appetite for sex and variety made me feel ashamed. I’ve gotten very frustrated with myself for not being “normal”. I’ve resented myself for a seeming inability to be satisfied with “normal”. I’ve ignored my sex and tried to forget about it so I could be more “normal”. I’ve settled for lackluster experiences so I wouldn’t hurt my partner. I’ve compromised what was true for me so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the sometimes hard work of getting what I really want. I’ve felt ashamed for using my sex to manipulate people. I’ve been self conscious of the way my pussy looked or smelled and of how close it was to my anal area.
How has your attitude toward your sex and sexuality been?
Think about your actions toward your sex. My actions have not always shown my gratitude for my sex. I’ve masturbated hard, even violently, to get it over and done with. I’ve accepted touch from lovers that didn’t feel good – sometimes even hurt – and done nothing about it.
What have your actions toward your sex been?
5 Ways To Develop Gratitude For Your Sex
My path has been more extreme than some so I will share some of the principles and steps that I have integrated and taken along my journey to being grateful for my sex and sexuality.
- Willingness to have a better experience – Without the willingness to experiment and go through the experiences I never would have moved forward with my sexuality.
- Developing my relationship with my Higher Power – We have our own definitions of God. Whether you subscribe to someone else’s definition or have developed your own, find a way to make your sex and sexuality right.
- Self reflection – looking inside myself and finding out how I felt about things. Then, I look at the feeling and see where it’s from – it it’s really from within me or if it is something I feel because I think I should. Getting honest with myself about what is okay with me and what is not.
- Sharing with others in a conscious way – There is a difference between doing something consciously vs. unconsciously. For much of my life I was unconscious about my sex and when I did wake up about it a little bit I would quickly push it down so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. I didn’t know how to deal with it. Now I know that by sharing – verbally, in writing and in person – while staying consciously aware of myself – my feelings, my actions and reactions – I love my sex more and more all the time and part of that love is feeling gratitude.
- Experimentation And Education – The more I know the more I know I don’t know. The learning can go on for infinity just like the expansion of pleasure. The two – learning and expanding pleasure – also go hand in hand. The more you know about your sex the more you will be able to enjoy it.
I invite you to participate in the Naked Gratitude Project as a way to consciously share your sex and your gratitude during November.