Last night, due to circumstances beyond my control, I was alone. And feeling lonely. So I decided to work with my mind on it.
I listened to a meditation on YouTube. You might also find my article on mindfulness practice interesting.
And I started to work with my mind to see how perspective was influencing my perception.
Changing My Perspective on Loneliness
My beginning perspective was full of negatives: my body is not cooperating, my hip hurts so I can’t go roller-skating, my friend would rather go roller-skating with the group rather than come cuddle me, my lover would rather have a night alone than come cuddle me, my kid would rather hang out with their boyfriend than hang out with me, booooohooooo!!!
That was making it all about them and their beliefs. But what about me and mine?
Because that’s the only place we truly have any semblance of control: over our mind and reaction.
I started thinking about other truths and I was soothed and comforted.
I am good enough. People think I’m cool. I am attractive, likable, and lovable. I am strong and independent and connectable. And desirable. My family and friends do love me.
If I can have those thoughts in my head as the perspective through which I perceive my reality, then circumstances matter less. My kid and my lover and my friend can all choose to not hang out with me for their own reasons that may or may not have anything to do with me.
Even if it does have something to do with me, it is none of my business as I’m just over here doing my thing, being my sweet self.
Taking Care of Yourself When You’re Lonely
So I can be sweet to myself and rest and watch funny movies and cuddle my teddy bear and go to sleep early because that is how I can take care of myself.
Taking care of yourself can include making time for pleasure and exploring what you enjoy. It can also mean giving yourself permission to rest and feel what you feel without judging yourself.
If you’re looking for more ideas about self-care and self-pleasure, you can explore ways to work with me as a sex coach.
If you’re struggling with loneliness, the NHS guide to coping with loneliness offers additional information and suggestions.
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Would you like support in developing your self-care? Send me a message to book an exploratory session. We can talk about what you’re looking for and whether working together would be a good fit.
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