I’ve been to dozens of classes in my life. I remember when I first started going to classes to learn about different kinks. At the time, I was just starting out as a professional dominatrix. This had evolved from clients asking for kinky activities during their sensual massages.
As I started getting more complicated requests, I had to learn how to do them in safe ways. I went to rope classes, impact play classes, electrical play, breath play, etc. I’m so lucky to live in a city with an active community where I could go to experiment and learn. At the time, I was also in a relationship with a beautiful woman who would go to all these classes with me. I was very lucky.
Then there was the first time I went to a non-kink class, and I went all on my own – it was the 2 week immersion for my sexological bodyworker certification. I was nervous and wanted to do it “right”. I was worried I would not like the things I learned – it was all experiential learning. I was afraid my body wouldn’t work right. I was worried I would be different and weird.
So I get it – I’m inviting many people to my classes all the time – and there is so much for them to overcome to get there. I know for some people it truly is a time issue because we have busy lives or a money issue for any number of reasons. But for the vast majority, I think there is much for them to overcome internally, and it feels like it’s just too big of a hill to climb.
I’m so lucky that I felt all those classes were part of my job – honestly, that is what pushed me over the edge to attend and get out of my comfort zone.
The first class I attended that was not for “work” was a class about female pleasure. The company had been doing events in Las Vegas for a while, but I was resistant. I couldn’t fathom what they might teach me that I did not already know. I was resigned to my current sxx life – I struggled to climax. I was lucky if I climaxed once a week. I was afraid to hope for more – I did not know how to feel my desire, let alone hold it and let it grow. And I hated disappointment.
In fact, the only thing that pushed me over the edge of attending an event was the founder, who was a little famous in my world, was coming to give the talk that day. I was curious about her. So I went.
And I was still so skeptical, even after that event that I was not going to go to the deeper training. Then a good friend who had bought tickets couldn’t go and wanted to give the tickets to me. So I went.
I’m sharing all this so you know how much it took me to get started on the road to where I am now.
Now, I feel my desire. I see how I have held some of my desires for YEARS, and now they are manifesting. I felt my desire to connect with Monique Darling for maybe 5 years. In 2021, I finally received that connection – I let myself have it – and I immersed myself in her work as much as I could over this last year, letting myself receive that desire. And more desires started manifesting – things I have been wanting literally for years.
Along the way, I found people to help me. I wish I’d had more guidance along the way and earlier in my journey, though. Even now, I have a private coach (love you Cathleene Cienfuegos ) who helps me incorporate tantric practices into my life because I now value my experience and growth that much.
This is what I’m offering to those who are ready.
It starts with a class.
Or a phone call.
If you’ve seen my classes and not signed up and it’s not because of the cost , I see you. I see the internal mountain you need to climb to get to that spot where you are willing to open your mind to a new experience. I see how threatening it is to learn something new – especially if you are already very educated and experienced. I get it.
If you want to come but you don’t know how to navigate this terrain of uncertainty, skepticism, and fear, please reach out. I’ll be happy to jump on the phone with you to see how you might open up and make space inside yourself in such a way that you can understand how you can be safe AND feel your desire at the same time. It is possible.
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Upcoming events:
In Las Vegas
March 11th –
All gender –
Snugglefest and Communication Workshop
March 19th –
women only – Women Healing Women
With me and Angela Dahlem Angela Dahlem facilitating
All gender – Tantra Workshop – Chakras and 5 Elements Massage
In Cabo In November (teaching here is one of my long-held desires manifested!)
8th Annual Transformational Intensive For Extraordinary Facilitators Tickets, Tue, Nov 1, 2022 at 1:00 PM | Eventbrite