Why Women Struggle to Prioritize Their Own Pleasure

For many women, pursuing pleasure isn’t as simple as deciding to do something that feels good. It can bring up guilt, shame, fear, and deeply ingrained beliefs about putting everyone else’s needs first.

Sometimes the biggest obstacle isn’t finding time for pleasure. It’s believing that we’re worthy of experiencing it.

And changing those beliefs can come at a cost.

The Emotional Cost of Pursuing Pleasure

💸 Pursuing pleasure can feel very expensive for us.

💰 And we’re not always sure the price is worth it.

💯 It means we may have to change, take care of ourselves, and put ourselves first. Will the price be too high?

💖 There is so much healing to do in our hearts, minds, and bodies. And sometimes the emotional cost of that healing feels overwhelming.

😥 Shame, grief, trauma, limiting beliefs, and fears can influence how we experience ourselves and the world. Working through these things can be challenging, but it can also open the door to greater freedom and joy.

💔 This can be especially difficult when we’re sensitive, empathic, and caring. The state of the world can be heartbreaking. How can we allow ourselves to feel good when there’s so much pain in the world and within ourselves?

How to Reconnect With Pleasure Through Mindfulness

🌬 Breathe. Take a moment to slow down and notice your breath.

🕑 Be here now. Give yourself permission to stop worrying about everything else for a moment.

⏳ Be in the present moment. Notice what you’re experiencing right now.

🧘‍♀️ Connect with your body. Relax and release, over and over, without expecting yourself to feel any particular way.

♾️ Connect with Source, Inner Being, the Universe, or whatever feels true and eternal to you.

💗 Connect with yourself exactly as you are right now. Notice your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment.

🤕 Look for pleasure in the present moment, even when you’re experiencing emotional or physical discomfort. Notice where the discomfort ends and where you might find a sensation that feels good. You don’t have to enjoy the pain itself.

😌 Sometimes even touching the edge of a bruise can create an interesting sensation. The point isn’t to push through pain, but to become curious about what you’re experiencing and discover where pleasure might still be available.

How I Use These Practices in My Own Life and Coaching

📈 These are some of the ways I work with my own mind when I’m growing and moving to a new level in my life. I also use these practices with coaching clients who are experiencing growing pains.

As a facilitator, I love creating opportunities for people to explore something new, connect with themselves, and discover what’s possible when they give themselves permission to experience more pleasure.

Pleasure Is Your Birthright

Giving ourselves permission to experience pleasure isn’t always easy. Sometimes it means challenging old beliefs, making ourselves a priority, and learning to receive without guilt.

But I believe pleasure is our birthright. We are worthy of experiencing it, even when life is difficult, even when there’s pain in the world, and even when we still have healing to do.

We don’t have to wait until everything is perfect to allow ourselves to feel good.

If you’d like more ideas for reconnecting with pleasure, explore my article on how to get in the mood for sex.

Here is a picture of me taking care of myself, being worth the “cost.”