Treasures from Self-Examination and Pleasure Practices

Sex Coach Nikki, Las Vegas Sex Coach, shadow work, female pleasure, female masturbation, parts work, sex therapist, couples therapyInsights from personal inventory and pleasure practices.  This is an example of what comes out of the work I teach.  I’ll be sharing about it during my upcoming (free) Female Pleasure Challenge next week.  Join my group at 100 Pussy Project | Facebook, go to the events, and RSVP “going” so I know you are interested:)


You can not like someone too much.  Let the love flow and let it be without hooks, expectations, demands, and obligations.  Just because you love them or like them does not mean they are obligated to a damn thing.  Enjoy letting the love flow for the joy of that feeling.  

It’s ok to have casual relationships – and it’s also ok not to.  Maybe the connection is so precious and meaningful that it’s not meant to be casual or shallow. It’s ok for it to be profound.  As one mentor is teaching me – it’s not about the length; it’s about the depth and the breadth.

Practicing mindfulness and noticing where you are building expectations of others will help you to not get hurt.  Put your expectations on Source, Universe, etc., and not on humans – not even on your egoic self.  

You are not broken.  Stop comparing your insides to other people’s outsides.  You don’t know their challenges and struggles.  

If you think you will be alone and lonely, you are right.  Whatever you believe, fear, or worry about is what your subconscious will go about manifesting.  

You are good enough.

It’s ok to be discerning. It’s good to have desires.  Disappointment is simply another feeling, emotion, and type of energy.  It is not good or bad.  It just is.  When it comes, feel it as a sign that you were excited about something and feel gratitude for having such a large emotional range. 

You can take things seriously if you like to.  Or you can be playful.  And you can be both.  Try out both ways.  Date them.  Just because you notice you are being one way doesn’t mean you are married to it.  Change can be easy and fun.

Having unreasonably high standards and expectations is a double-edged sword and a game of constant upleveling.  Not everyone will want to play it with you.  And it’s ok to take time out from it as well.  

Stop looking for the person that checks all the boxes.  Look for the good feelings and the connection.  Because as soon as all the boxes get checked, more will magically appear.

It is not possible to be too emotional and sensitive.  It is possible to be over-reactive, uncalibrated, and to blame others.  Being emotional and sensitive is a superpower that can be used for good or evil.  Accept and hone this skill.  

Fall in love easily and learn to let it go just as quickly.  Keep healing and growing your heart, so it is strong, flexible, and malleable.  

Vulnerability is going to be messy and inappropriate at times.  Those who are your people will be able to handle it.  Those who can’t will filter themselves out and move on.  Let them go with love. It’s not about you.

Maybe you are more masochistic than you thought?!  Seems unwanted things are manifesting?  Some part of you is calling that in.  So – enjoy it.  Acceptance, approval, arousal.  Get off on it.  Oh, the hot spiky feeling of rejection – filling up your chest like a misshapen balloon with jagged edges.  Breath into it and move it down your body, filling more of you up, building up my arousal from the inside out.  Embraced and loved, it cannot hurt you anymore.  Bring on the rejection!  You will continue to use it for fuel in bed.

Stop worrying about finding someone that makes you feel good and accepts everything about you, and start doing it for yourself.  Everyday.  Every hour.  

If you feel needy, maybe some part of you needs some attention and a voice.  Listen.  Go within.  

Neediness is repellent.  Focus on the feeling of satisfaction.  Meditate on that more often.  Notice all the areas in your life where you DO have what you want.  All the ways things in life ARE satisfying.  

Ah, lust – the drive to fulfill your needs at the expense of others well being.  And possibly your own.  Another part to practice acceptance, approval, and arousal around.  Turn it over to your higher power.  Be willing to surrender it.  And if you still have it, maybe it’s helpful in some way. 

Insatiable desire – you may fear you have it, but it’s not the case.  You are often satiated – you just have a high metabolism for pleasure and work up an appetite more often than maybe convenient.  Keep expanding your capacity to hold the sensation of desire.  Make more space.  And make time to fulfill it as well.

Are you warped by your experiences, or are you formed?  Having had all the experiences you have had has made you unique in a way that puts you in the position to help others as no one else can.  Very few people have had your unique mix of training, experiences, and family of origin.  And for those that did – how many of them also have the desire and tolerance for being transparent at a public level so that they may be of service and help others to experience liberation from shame and programming?  Not many.  

Keep improving your relationship with your Higher Power and your Higher Self.  That is what you can rely upon – rather than your limited egoic self or other people.

Yes, you have trauma.  Another place to practice acceptance, approval, and arousal.  Let it continue to work through your system and heal. It’s all working.  

Not sure how to surrender? That’s ok. There’s a part of you who has been there to take care of you and protect you, and it may not go off duty easily.  Thank that part of you for all its hard work and ask what it needs.  Listen within.  

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