New year’s resolutions usually fail. While I do like to set intentions and goals and play with the energy of a fresh year, I don’t wait for a new year to start.
There are ways to make goals more achievable, but many people don’t even set erotic goals.
What Erotic Goals Can You Set?
You can set goals to experience more pleasure and connection in your lovemaking. You can set goals to overcome ED, PE, and DE (D stands for delayed). You can make goals to strengthen your pelvic floor, experience less pain, become multi-climactic, or improve your skills.
You can apply most regular goal-setting techniques to this by making it a SMART goal. The SMART framework can help you make your goals specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.
Finding Accountability and Support
The one that can be more challenging for erotic goals is accountability because your erotic goal might not be something you can publicly announce and share your journey about on Facebook.
For example, a goal I’m currently working on is to increase my stamina and my speed with walking. I can talk about that on Facebook all day long.
Some steps I’ve taken and am starting are: I went to a doctor to help me with hip pain, I started doing cold plunges, I’m cleaning up my diet to decrease inflammation, and I’m recommitting to my exercise routine.
Working Through Shame Around Pleasure
If your goal is to experience more pleasure, that can have some type of stigma or shame around it because in our Judeo-Christian culture, intercourse is for procreation only and it is a sin to have pleasure. And any act that would not produce offspring is a sin as well.
And that’s just on a collective level. As an individual, having an erotic goal might have a negative impact on your partnership, or people might judge you. Either way, it could feel like your safety and security are in danger. If your social circle judges you negatively, they might not accept you, and then you might be an outcast and alone, and that is not okay for our nervous system.
You can start exploring your goals by making more room for intimacy in your relationship or exploring exercises for better sex.
Take the First Step
If you’d like to set an erotic goal and get support working toward it, send me a message. We can schedule an exploratory session to talk about your goals and whether working together would be a good fit.
You can also learn more about working with me as a sex coach.