During couples sex coaching I often teach specific techniques. One of the most popular is sensual massage and anal massage in particular. I’m happy to explain the mechanics and set it up so that the couple has the tools they need to practice at home on their own.
Other things I teach in person:
~Fellatio – improve technique and overcome using teeth
~Penis Massage – taking hand jobs to a new level
~Anal Sex – making it feel good for her
Couples Sex Coaching Session
I demonstrate how to slowly approach the anus, massaging first the place where the legs meet the groin, the sits bones and the entire crack. Soft long strokes one after the other relax and arouse him. Shorter deeper strokes massaging all the muscles in the crack relax and arouse him even further. He is going with the flow of arousal and enjoyment, opening his legs further and tilting his pelvis higher. Applying lubrication directly to the anus I massage his outer sphincter in every direction, gently stretching and relaxing it. I get even more lube and without penetrating I press inward against his anus with the flat of my thumb. He asks his wife to come and massage his balls. She stands across from me with her hand on his scrotum and he reaches back and holds her other hand with his. Their love and connection is beautiful and I’m loving being a part of it.
He’s ready for penetration and I point my thumb tip in ready to slide it into his anus. I instruct him to take a deep breath and on his exhale I slide my thumb into him. I stay there and just hold him, feeling the arousal running through him. When a person is this aroused stopping and holding can be very pleasurable for them as their muscles flex and relax themselves creating their own internal massage. Then I gently pressed in every direction. Envisioning a clock with the tail bone being 12 and the prostate being 6 I stop at each number of the “clock” checking in with him asking how it feels. He said good a few times and I asked him to rate it on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being not painful – that there might be discomfort but not pain and if there was any pain we needed to stop and address it immediately – and 5 being total bliss. I continued around the “clock” and when I was twisting my wrist completely I gently pulled out my thumb and inserted my index finger.
I explained in between stops that this was extremely therapeutic – I was massaging all the pelvic floor muscles from the inside. The arousal helps to facilitate a better pelvic floor massage because the pressure is pleasurable instead of painful. At the prostate I touched each side and did a few different types of strokes all the time communicating with him about how each felt. I also slid my finger in and out of his anus and asked if he liked that sensation (he didn’t). Then I asked if he felt complete and since he did I ended that part of the treatment with gentle holding while his wife held his scrotum.
Want to learn more about erotic massage? Visit one of the following sites for detailed instructional videos.
I offer lots of options during individual and couples sex coaching sessions. One option is nudity – either partial or full. I will follow my clients comfort levels regarding this – but I may push a little too if it will help to move the session along.
I feel that being naked takes away many barriers and almost instantly releases shame around our bodies in general and our genitals in particular. Nudity also usually generates arousal and with arousal we can work even deeper with your sex and sexuality interests.
Although her practice is very different than mine, Sarah White explains beautifully about how being naked can be extremely therapeutic. Click here to visit her site and read all about her method of Naked Therapy.
Couples Sex Coaching Session
Their comfort level is full nudity. I set up the massage table and give him instructions to undress and lay face-down while I use the restroom and wash my hands. I come out nude and begin the massage while she sits on the bed.
As I massage him the three of us discuss our sexuality. I ask questions about their successes and challenges and share my own. By having such an intimate atmosphere they are able to open up quickly and we are able to discuss things on a very deep level almost immediately.
When I get to the buttocks area I demonstrate and explain slow, loving touch that will be easy for her to give and very sensual and pleasurable for him to receive. Sometimes it’s better to go slower and softer. The genital and anal area sometimes benefit from simply being held while aroused without any movement.
He likes anal stimulation but she doesn’t love to give it – she will do it sometimes as a treat. Many couples find themselves in this situation – one partner enjoys something more (much more) than the other. There are usually reasons for the dislike of any activity and usually they can be managed if not overcome altogether. For this couple to have more anal play for him I suggest they incorporate gloves in the bedroom. Using gloves will increase her confidence that she will not inadvertently hurt him and it will reduce her concerns about messiness. They could take it a step further by having him give himself an enema before their play.