Are your muscles causing you pain during anal sex? With Anal Sex Coach Nikki

Are your muscles causing you pain during anal sex?

Hi I’m Sex Coach Nikki and I have been doing sensual and erotic massage for nine years. I can tell you that tight pelvic floor muscles are the number one cause of pain during any kind of anal sex or stimulation.

One way to test your anal and pelvic floor muscles

Sit down on something firm and see if you can squeeze your anus. Squeeze your anal sphincter muscles and see if you can feel your butt moving and does it hurt? Does it feel uncomfortable? Then the next thing to do is push from the inside out and push down toward the surface you’re sitting on and you should feel movement. If you do not feel movement then that means that your muscles are kind of locked. It means your tight ass (laughing).

It’s easy to fix this. You just need to do some self massage or go see a masseuse. Not a regular massage therapistclock face for anal sex pleasure mapping sex coach nikki – they cannot work in this area it is not legal but there are some physical therapists who will work in the anal area. Definitely do what’s right for you as far as what feels good for you.

A better way to test your anal muscles and self massage techniques

Go in the shower with nice warm water and lather up your hands and then (usually using the hand you wipe with because that’s how your back bends easiest. If you’re right-handed use your right hand) start massaging in your anal area.

You’re going to massage your undercarriage and feel for the muscles up and down your butt crack, around your anus and then also all the way around the sphincters. Notice how tight or relaxed they can are.

Imagine the face of a clock on your anus with 12 o’clock being straight towards the tailbone.  Using your fingertip put some pressure against your butthole at each spot on the clock.  Stay at each spot for one breath and make mental note how the muscle feels.

Once you go around the outside, penetrate with your fingertip as far as is comfortable.  Push with firm pressure at each spot on “the clock” pausing for a breath and again noting how the muscle feels.

This is going to be a really great self massage to start relaxing your anal muscles and it’s something you can easily do every day in the shower.

As you get more accustomed to this massage you’ll gain control over your anal muscles and you’ll start learning how to relax them.

You’ll be able to penetrate more deeply eventually penetrating up to your first and then your second knuckle. At each depth you do the same thing – pause for a breath and massage all the points on the clock.

Having a hard time reaching your anus?

Your ability to do this in the shower depends also on how flexible you are. I’m a little bit of a thicker girl so I can’t reach a whole lot standing up. If that’s how you are then you want to move on to the bed to lay down and twist. Make sure to incorporate a lot of lube. In the shower you’re using the soap and that lubricates the area for you but when you’re on your bed you want to use lube.

As long as you’re not about to have sex with a condom you can use almost anything for lube. You can go in the kitchen and get some olive oil or coconut oil. Any kind of oil is fine as long as you’re not about to use a condom.

I hope I gave you some good ideas on getting your muscles relaxed in your anal area and that is probably going to help you have a lot more pleasure during anal sex!

Want to go deeper learning about anal sex?

Sign up for my free email series at https://www.mcssl.com/WebForms/WebForm.aspx?wid=6d040196-f195-42b7-9e30-bdc261e8aff9

August is Anal Sex Month With Sex Coach Nikki!

It’s Anal August once again and I have some fun stuff to share.

Online

I have an excellent full color pdf on the Art of Anal Pleasure that you can sign up for at right here ===>

You will also get a series of emails directly to your inbox with tips about anal pleasure.  Please email me any questions you have so I can include that answer in my email tips.

At NikkisLessons.com I’ll be working on updating the Anal section – making it easier to use and adding new content.  Please let me know if you are in Las Vegas and would like to volunteer to be in a video.  Ideally I’d like to show more work with couples and also more diversity in my videos.

peach emojiLive In Las Vegas

Learn To Give A Safe And Sensual Erotic Massage at The Art Of Anal Pleasure Interactive Demo & Lecture

Friday, August 19, 2016

to

Will be held at a Private Residence Near South Eastern and the 215, Las Vegas, NV

Address will be emailed upon registration on https://www.eventbrite.com/e/learn-to-give-a-safe-and-sensual-erotic-massage-at-the-art-of-anal-pleasure-interactive-demo-lecture-tickets-26980842426

If you are always looking for ways to be a better lover then this class is for you.  Sex Coach Nikki will be teaching an interactive class as well as performing a complete live demonstration.  This will be followed by optional guided practice.

Click here to register.

The number one concern for most people interested in anal pleasure is how to keep it healthy and safe.  Included with this class is a series of emails and videos where I will teach you step by step how to keep things clean, and how to prepare for giving or receiving anal stimulation.  I will also be available to talk about any questions or concerns that come up.

Anal pleasure done right is definitely an art.  I look forward to performing for you and teaching you the beauty that is possible.

Have questions answered regarding:
•How to locate the prostate
•How to massage the anal sphincters for relaxation and pleasure
•How to use a strap on
•How to make sure to keep everything healthy and safe
•Much, much more…

You will leave knowing

•how to talk about anal stimulation with your partner
•how to stay healthy and safe
•how to create a safe space for any emotions that come up to be expressed
•how to deeply relax the body so it can open up and receive
•the anatomy of the anal area
•effective communication strategies for intimacy
•specific ways to tease and please the anus in particular and the entire human body in general

Schedule:

7:00 – Doors open
7:15 – Class begins. Doors are locked. No late arrivals allowed.
8:30 – Break
8:45 – Optional Guided Practice Begins
9:45 – Close Class

A note about the optional guided practice – I am implementing a policy that a telephone conversation is to be had if at all possible with every class attendee to discuss the upcoming class so I can tailor the experience to the people who will be present.  If I cannot speak with you in advance I will not be able to include you in the guided practice portion of the event.

Some things to know:

•The practice session will be clothing optional.
•This is not an orgy or party atmosphere.
•This is a safe space that will allow participants to become completely aware of their body and their erotic energy.
•You must participate in the practice to stay in the room.

—Included in your registration for this class is the Group Sex Class And Optional Play Time that directly follows.  Click here to see more.

Early Bird Registration Until 8/16/2016

$20 for singles
$30 for couples and poly pods

Regular Price

$35 for singles
$45 for couples and poly pods

This will be an alcohol free event.

No money will be accepted at the door.  Click here to register.

Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.

For questions feel free to contact Nikki at 702.674.6606

Anal, Bali, Masturbation | Checking in

Anal Update

The “Art Of Anal Pleasure” class was AMAZING.  We had a full house and 2 amazing demonstration models.  One was a gentleman who was a very experienced anal player who got to have his limits stretched by having an audience view his play.  The second was a beautiful mature woman who on the outside seemed so sweet and innocent but once she got naked and I had my strap-on in place she was voracious!  I was able to demonstrate all the anal positions I know with her.  Everyone learned something new and a good time was had by all.  I look forward to Anal August:)

Bali Trip

sex coach nikki gets a happy ending massage in Bali

All male therapists at this spa:)

I went to Bali for the end of April to attend a women’s retreat.  It was transformational.  Without the hustle and bustle of everyday life I was able to feel into some deep desires.  Several came up.  Here are some:

  • to work with more people as a sex coach over the phone and over skype
  • to work with more women in a healing capacity – helping with painful sex and numbness
  • to partner up with other professionals so I can have company when I’m working
  • to have more fun in my business

I’m so happy to be back home.  I love love love so many things here in Vegas – my family, my business…  I definitely missed it all.

Did you know that there are not any sex toy stores in Bali, Indonesia?  I did not until I was looking for one.  I was going to indulge in buying a new sex toy – part of the the point of the retreat was self care so I wanted to make sure to take care of myself sexually as well – and no one could help me.  I finally found out that it wasn’t legal in Bally.

So when we had a free day I sought out a happy ending massage:)  Actually, I’d already gotten a few massages (they are only $15 an hour there) but none of the girls would go there with me.  I was finally able to get some relief when I went to an all male therapist place.  I had this 25 year old island boy and he was very good at taking direction:)  I felt MUCH better after that.

Happy Masturbation Month!!!

sex coach Nikki, masturbation month, masturbation coachYup, May is masturbation month.  It’s something I love personally and professionally.  Professionally it’s one of the most important tools I use in my sex coaching.  There are many things you can incorporate into masturbation that will have a therapeutic benefit to either overcome sexual dysfunction or expand a person’s experience of pleasure.  I’m truly enjoying the work I do with people that includes masturbation coaching.  It creates a deep connection very quickly and that helps us move through issues powerfully and completely.

I put up a couple if informational videos on my youtube channel for masturbation month.  What do you think?  Click here to visit my channel

How are you?  How may I be of service to you this summer?

Please take a moment to drop a note with an update about you and yours.  Ask me any questions you might have.  Let me know if something I’ve shared has helped you out.

Anal Massage Lesson For Young Couple

Sometimes you have to try something totally different.

Couples Sex Coach Session For Christmas Part 2

anal massage sex coaching for conservative couples Sex Coach Nikki LundbergThen I asked them if they had ever considered anal sex.  They said no but they were open to it.  I had her flip over to her stomach and began massaging her glutes and sit bones.  I explained to him all that I was doing.  Using lots of lube I began to massage the crack of her ass.  Very slowly.  I told her before every change in stimulation I made.  I went from that to direct pressure onto her anus.  Using my 3 fingers together I placed them broadly against her anus and pressed into her body slowly increasing the pressure until it was firm checking with her all the time to make sure it was feeling good.  She enjoyed all the external stimulation.  I moved on – slowly – using one fingertip to massage her external sphincter.  Just dipping the tip of my finger into her anus I gently applied pressure – up, to the right, down, and to the left – checking at each point to see if she felt pain and also explaining to her boyfriend what I was doing.

Since everything was feeling good I sunk my finger in a bit deeper so I was penetrating her inner sphincter.  I repeated the pressure in the four different directions.  At this point she wasn’t feeling pleasure just pressure.  I explained that that was fine and that she would take some time to become used to this type of stimulation and to allow it to become erotic.

I slowly began sliding my finger in and out of her anus.  I just kept my finger straight and didn’t apply any pressure in any direction.  She was able to take my entire finger into her anus without discomfort of any kind.  I told them that they would most likely be having anal sex before they had vaginal sex since she wasn’t feeling pain in this area.  I gently bent my finger aiming my finger tip toward her pubic bone.  For the first time she felt the pleasure of pressure against her g-spot.  At the same time she felt like she may have to have a bowel movement.  I reassured her that there was no fecal matter in her rectum and it was just habit that when she felt pressure in this area it meant she had to go to the bathroom and that with practice that physical signal would change.

Her boyfriend wanted to try so I moved and he sat where I had been between her knees.  I coached him to go slower and slower.  He did and was so pleased when he was able to penetrate his girlfriend without bringing her pain.  He began sliding his finger in and out of her anus.  As he got more excited he began to speed up and she asked him to stop.  He did and I explained that the tissue is very sensitive and this is a new type of stimulation.  Over time he would be able to “finger fuck” her and even add a second finger.  I told him that the sign that she would be ready for anal sex is when he is able to smoothly slide tow fingers in and out of her anus without causing discomfort.

We mutually decided she felt done and it was his turn to work with me.

Couples Sex Exploration And Experience

Or as I like to say “Sexploration & Sexperience”

Today was very successful for my couple.  They were only in town for 2 days so we did a 5 hour intensive.

The outcome was

  • Lots of communication gaps were filled in and we discussed different personality/communication styles.  I recommended the book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman to her.  Since he is an entrepreneur and is more familiar with personality types I recommended he review the DISC personality types – Him being a high DI and her being a full S and take the responsibility of applying what he knows about that kind of thing to this relationship.  Here are some books about the DISC behavioral model you can check out.
  • She was able to overcome (or begin to overcome) her negative beliefs.  We talked about how she gets to choose what to believe and how if something is making her feel bad she can choose to change it and feel better about it.  We talked about how to do that.  I walked through that process myself with my mentor Shelby Collinge.  Yes, fear and shame can be paralyzing.  Walking through it and finding the freedom and truth inside is a-freakin-mazing!
  • He learned the basics of massage and sensual massage.  You can see my videos about that here.  More will be coming soon.
  • We found her g-spot.  Yes, after 20+ years of marriage they were both unsure of the exact location.  I think her orgasms will be going to the next level now!
  • We covered some basic bondage techniques.  I showed him a chest harness and told him to look up twistedmonk.com to learn more about erotic rope bondage and to get a starter kit.  Then we played with clothes pins and clamps;)
  • He improved his spanking technique – there is a way to do it that stimulates the entire groin!
  • They learned how to make anal sex enjoyable.  I taught them the techniques I use in this video.
  • My male partner came about half way through the session and we were did some demonstration and he shared his experience about his sexual growth.
  • We developed a plan to keep the communication and kink going once they get home:)

I am so grateful and honored to have had this experience with them.  I let them know they could email me if they had any follow up questions and if they liked my style of working with them and they wanted ongoing mentoring I would love to work with them via phone and email for a reasonable fee.

If you are interested in a 5 hour intensive please contact me.

Nikki
email: Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com
phone: 888.217.6712

7 Things You Must Know About Anal And Sex Toy Cleanliness

There are some very specific things you can do to be clean and safe with anal play and using sex toys.

First, the anus:

  1. Always use lots of soap and warm water especially in the anal area.
  2. Using soap and your finger clean just inside the anus around the rim.
  3. Disinfectant wipes are a quick way to clean in a hurry.
  4. Perform an enema to take your cleanliness to the next level.
  5. Use a barrier (a glove for finger play, a dental dam, condom cut open or glove cut open for oral play a.k.a. analingus) to prevent bacteria transfer.

Second, sex toys:

  1. For sex toys use a toy cleaner for best results. You can also use rubbing alcohol.
  2. For fastest clean up and to ensure you are not coming in contact with any old germs, use a condom over your toy.

Having sex – and anal sex in particular – can get very messy. That is part of the fun for most people! The naughty factor and the possibility of making a mess can create excitement. Some people do even like to play with excrement – it is called scat play or brown showers. For me that is a hard boundary (something I won’t do no matter what) since nothing about poo is sexy to me. What is sexy is the intense sensations I can give and receive by stimulating the anus just right.

I’ve addressed cleanliness in this article because that is often the first concern a person has who is considering exploring anal pleasure. We think of the scene from Zack and Miri Make a Porno where the porn actress is getting penetrated anally and loses control of her bowels. That is hype and was made up to be funny. While anal penetration can be messy I’ve never experienced or heard of anything near that happen in real life.

Whenever you are stimulating the anal area in addition to cleanliness always keep in mind how sensitive it is. Be very gentle until more is requested. Once the anus muscled have relaxed, more vigorous stimulation can be applied as long as there is sufficient lubricant. If you enjoy anal play and want to continuously increase the level of pleasure you can take consider using a butt plug. By using a butt plug for short periods on a regular basis you will be more able to enjoy anal play.

Many men ask me if their interest in anal play means they’re homosexual or bisexual. The answer is NO! There are several reasons anal play is pleasurable.

  • Pressure in that area is naturally pleasurable… it’s important that we enjoy having bowel movements, right?
  • The prostate can receive direct stimulation which can be much more intense.
  • Some men like to be submissive and just receive the pleasure/abuse. In a long term relationship this can be a positive part of role play or power exchange.

Whether you are male or female, follow these suggestions and your anal experience will be a pleasurable one.

Click Here to do some online shopping for toy cleaner, lube and toys;)