What Does Gratitude for Your Sex Feel Like?
The World English Dictionary defines gratitude as “a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation, as for a gift or favors.”
Yes, gratitude is a feeling, but in my understanding, it is so much more. Gratitude can be an action and an attitude as well.
Now apply this to your sex. Take a moment, a deep breath, and check in with your gut and your genitals.
When I do this, I feel a sense of expansion in my pelvic region.
What do you feel?
Examining Your Attitude Toward Sexuality
Now, reflect on your attitude toward your sex. I have felt different ways about my sex at different times in my life.
Now is a time for noticing and not judging.
For most of my life, and even sometimes nowadays, I have not been grateful for my sex. My desires don’t fit with what I’ve been trained to believe is good and acceptable.
There have been times that my appetite for sex and variety made me feel ashamed.
I’ve gotten very frustrated with myself for not being “normal.” And I’ve resented myself for a seeming inability to be satisfied with “normal.”
I’ve ignored my sex and tried to forget about it so I could be more “normal.”
I have settled for lackluster experiences so I wouldn’t hurt my partner.
I’ve compromised what was true for me so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the sometimes hard work of getting what I really want.
I have felt ashamed for using my sex to manipulate people.
I’ve also been self-conscious of the way my pussy looked or smelled and of how close it was to my anal area.
How has your attitude toward your sex and sexuality been?
How Do You Treat Your Sexuality?
Think about your actions toward your sex.
My actions have not always shown my gratitude for my sex.
I’ve masturbated hard, even violently, to get it over and done with.
I’ve also accepted touch from lovers that didn’t feel good, sometimes even hurt, and done nothing about it.
What have your actions toward your sex been?
5 Ways to Develop Gratitude for Your Sex
My path has been more extreme than some. So I will share some of the principles and steps that I have integrated along my journey to being grateful for my sex and sexuality.
- Willingness to have a better experience. Without the willingness to experiment and go through the experiences, I never would have moved forward with my sexuality.
- Developing my relationship with my Higher Power. We have our own definitions of God. Whether you subscribe to someone else’s definition or have developed your own, find a way to make your sex and sexuality right.
- Self-reflection. This means looking inside myself and finding out how I feel about things.
Then I look at the feeling and see where it’s from. Is it really from within me, or is it something I feel because I think I should?
It’s about getting honest with myself about what is okay with me and what is not.
Sharing with others in a conscious way. There is a difference between doing something consciously and unconsciously.
For much of my life, I was unconscious about my sex. When I did wake up about it a little bit, I would quickly push it down so I wouldn’t have to deal with it.
I didn’t know how to deal with it.
Now I know that sharing helps me love my sex more and more all the time.
I share verbally, in writing, and in person. At the same time, I stay consciously aware of myself, my feelings, my actions, and my reactions.
Part of that love is feeling gratitude.
- Experimentation and education. The more I know, the more I know I don’t know.
The learning can go on for infinity, just like the expansion of pleasure.
The two, learning and expanding pleasure, also go hand in hand.
The more you know about your sex, the more you will be able to enjoy it.
For more about exploring your beliefs and experiences, read Treasures From Self-Examination and Pleasure Practices.
The Naked Gratitude Project
I invite you to participate in the Naked Gratitude Project as a way to consciously share your sex and your gratitude during November.