To bridge the gap between the masculine “how” and the feminine “what”. I’ve suggested this tool to several clients over the last couple weeks with great success.
How We Hurt Each Other With Words
Many of us are verbally abusive or violent with our partners, and we don’t even realize it.
We dominate, manipulate, and give guilt trips in order to communicate how we feel.
We can use passive aggressiveness, aggressive aggressiveness, sarcasm, stonewalling and more to try to convey when we are upset.
Usually, this causes the other person to become defensive, and we all know the best defense is a good offense.
So they strike back at us, verbally, and the situation escalates.
If this was happening with physical violence, we would never tolerate it.
Since it’s verbal, though, many of us turn a blind eye.
Using Nonviolent Communication to Express Feelings
I don’t agree with everything taught in Nonviolent Communication, but I think a lot of it is useful.
Oftentimes, people have a really hard time getting vulnerable and sharing what is really going on.
It may have been so long that there is barely any trust left with their partner.
This is a feminine and messy and can be really hard to reach.
The structure in Nonviolent Communication gives a masculine container to use to express our emotions and wild feminine vulnerability.
If you are having a difficult time expressing feelings and being vulnerable, definitely check this site out for some resources.
Center for Nonviolent Communication
Making time to connect with your partner can also help support communication. Read more in How to Make Time for Intimacy in Your Relationship.