I recently read a terrific article written by Christine Webber, a psychotherapist in the UK.
The article is terrific and deserves to be read in its entirety.
For those pressed for time, here is a short synopsis followed by my opinion and experience.
13 Facts and Tips for Women Learning to Have an Orgasm
- If you can’t climax on demand, you are normal. Lighten up on yourself and ignore pop culture.
- Attitudes and medical open mindedness have come a long way. We now know that all women can climax if the circumstances are right.
- The age of 18 is a common time for women to experience their first orgasm.
- Masturbation is a good way to learn how to climax.
- Make sure you are communicating effectively with your partner.
- Vibrators and sex aids can help a woman climax faster.
- By the time the average woman is 30+ years old, she can easily reach climax.
- There are different types of orgasms: clitoral, vaginal, and G-spot. Most important is that you enjoy your orgasm.
- It’s unusual to achieve simultaneous orgasm with your partner unless you are employing manual stimulation and your partner has some orgasm control on his end.
- The ability to have multiple orgasms increases with age.
- Women can still achieve orgasm after menopause.
- Men can help by being relaxed, sensual, oral, and communicative.
- Practice, practice, practice!
If you’re interested in exploring different forms of stimulation, my article on how to include genital massage in a sensual massage offers additional ideas.
My Opinion and Experience
By knowing how to make myself reach orgasm, sex is much more pleasurable and satisfying.
However, my body does not always cooperate. Learning to enjoy the journey is just as important as reaching the destination.
Often, working to reach orgasm is high pressure, even if it is just me pressuring myself to do it.
I have had clients who have a hard time reaching orgasm during sex. If they use a vibrator while masturbating, they may be less sensitive to other stimulation.
They either need to decrease their reliance on the vibrator or learn how to incorporate it into their sex sessions.
For more information about exploring different toys, read my article on sex toys for beginners.
Communication and Practice Make a Difference
For sexual gratification, self knowledge is most important, followed by your partner’s knowledge.
That’s why communication is so important. It is the component I stress the most with clients.
It’s great to have two goals. One is to find out how to make her climax effectively. The other is to improve his stamina and orgasm control.
These goals work together. Progress on one supports progress on the other.
Learning how to get in the mood for sex can also help you focus on enjoying the experience.
The best thing to do is practice, practice, practice, and enjoy the journey.