The short answer is that it is not fulfilling its purpose and I feel it is also confusing people about what I offer as a sex coach.
For those of you who are new to me and my work, I started a video website in 2011 called NikkisLessons.com. The intention was for me to be able to share my knowledge and educate people on how to do sexual things in such a way that I could leverage my time by working one to many. It was also meant to be a more (financially) accessible way to work with me for those who could not afford in-person coaching. While I do know the site helped many people, I donâ€™t think it truly supported my vision of being a teaching tool.
Since I was personally the demonstration model for 99% of the videos, what I found was many of the viewers were much more interested in interacting with me as a sexual partner or entertainer than as an educator. There is nothing wrong with that â€“ I am also a sex worker after all. The problem was whenever I marketed my services as a coach or educator, Iâ€™d get a lot of requests for entertainment (making pornographic videos) which was not my desire.
This has been one of the most difficult decisions Iâ€™ve had to make in my business. Iâ€™ve put a lot of time and money into creating the website. While it was not a raging success, I would not call it a failure by any measure. The site has been a huge part of my business endeavors over the last nine years and I am somewhat sad to see it go.
Contrast Brings Clarity
This is one of my most important lessons and teaching points. Only by evaluating an experience, comparing what you wanted vs. what happened so you can see the contrast, can you gain clarity and make a new decision moving forward. I tried having a video website where I had explicit how-to lessons on sex, and it did not give me the results I wanted. I tried to make it work in several different ways and it still did not do what I wanted it to. I am willing to let it go and try something totally new and different. My hope is that by letting go of this piece of my business I will have more bandwidth to put towards the activities I do desire, the ways I do enjoy working with people and helping them in their day to day lives.