13 Facts and Tips for Women Learning to Have an Orgasm

I recently read a terrific article written by Christine Webber, a psychotherapist in the UK.  The article is  terrific and deserves to be read in its entirety.

For those pressed for time here is a short synopsis followed my opinion and experience.

  1. If you can’t climax on demand you are normal.  Lighten up on yourself and ignore pop culture.
  2. Attitudes and medical open mindedness have come a long way and we now know that all women can climax if the circumstances are right.
  3. The age of 18 is a common time for women to experience their first orgasm.
  4. Masturbation is a good way to learn how to climax.
  5. Make sure you are communicating effectively with your partner.
  6. Vibrators and sex aids can help a woman climax faster.
  7. By the time the average woman is 30+ years old she can easily reach climax.
  8. There are different types of orgasms – clitoral, vaginal and g-spot.  Most important is that you enjoy your orgasm.
  9. It’s unusual to achieve simultaneous orgasm with your partner unless you are employing manual stimulation and your partner has some orgasm control on his end.
  10. The ability to have multiple orgasms increases with age.
  11. Women can still achieve orgasm after menopause.
  12. Men can help by being relaxed, sensual, oral and communicative.
  13. Practice, practice, practice!

My Opinion and Experience

By knowing how to make myself reach orgasm sex is much more pleasurable and satisfying; however, my body does not always co-operate and learning to enjoy the journey is just as important as reaching the destination.  Often working to reach orgasm is high pressure, even if it is just me pressuring myself to do it.  I have had clients who have a hard time reaching orgasm during sex and if they use a vibrator while masturbating they may be less sensitive to other stimulation.  They either need to decrease their reliance on the vibrator or learn how to incorporate it into their sex sessions.

For sexual gratification, self knowledge is most important followed by your partner’s knowledge.  That’s why communication is so important and is the component I stress the most with clients.  It’s great to have 2 goals.  One is to find out how to make her climax effectively and the other is to improve his stamina and orgasm control.  These goals work together and progress on one supports progress on the other.  The best thing to do is practice, practice, practice and enjoy journey.

Family Time Can Raise The Libido

My guy (like most) is almost always ready for sex.  I (like many women) am not.  My sexual energy is often being redirected toward my business and other responsibilities and at the end of the day if I’m too tired I know I can put sex off ’til tomorrow.

A very interesting thing happened as we drove to our destination for our family spring vacation.  I realized that I wouldn’t have sex on tap since my daughter would be in the same hotel room.  All of a sudden I wanted it – simply because I couldn’t have it without getting creative.  This made for a very fun vacation since we were able to flirt and tease each other and I knew that we would have time to let the anticipation build.

The one time we finally did have a chance to get intimate during our trip and the time upon returning home was more intense because of the build up.  Here are some tips to re-create this scenario:

  • Put yourself in a situation where you know you can’t have sex for at least 3 days.  Not even solo love:)
  • Make it playful… flirt and tease during this time of abstinence.
  • Have a change of scenery – whether that’s a hotel room or a different room in the house.  Different locations can have different energy.

Let me know how it goes:)