Self Pleasure Practice Experience – An Example Of What’s Possible

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy from Pexels

My self pleasure session this morning started with the desire to cum, to relieve the pressure built up from erotic experiences and from life.  This week has been filled with pool parties, clients, and family.  Anticipating another big get-together this afternoon, I wanted to take care of myself to not be stressed.  I can be present for others much more easily when I have my deepest needs and desires met.  I’m so grateful I did!

I began my time with light touch over my entire body.  This is how I’ve learned to turn my whole self on.  Doing this is a special treat as many times when I masturbate, it is a means to an end, and I don’t focus on enjoying the journey due to lack of time.  Put on porn and create friction.  Done.

Touching myself, stroking all over my body, teasing my genitals – all feels so good and also indulgent.

Why indulgent?  It’s what I and many of us have been taught to do to a lover, not ourselves.  Caressing, pressing, touching for the simple enjoyment of the feel of being touched.  And teasing – I used to wonder – how can I tease myself?  I used to think it’s like ticking myself – almost impossible.  With practice and mindfulness, I’ve learned how to touch myself in such a way that it feels like a tease, which has my body respond as though it is being teased.  Teasing is so important to me because it allows time for anticipation to build up physically.  It’s this passage of time with the teasing that makes me feel genuinely ready for friction.

After caressing my entire body, I then approach my pussy.  Going lightly.  Using my left hand.  Staying on the outside for a long time, massaging my labia and all around my clit until I’m ready for direct clitoral stimulation.  I apply lube to lightly caress my inner labia and clit hood, leading up to touching my clit.  Using strokes I learned from orgasmic meditation on myself.  Staying with myself.  Staying focused on sensations as thoughts and memories from this last week meandered through my mind.

Recalling yesterday, the first time in a long time someone tried to shame me for being a sex worker and polyamorous.  Feeling that pang of doubt and fear.  I did not ask for his feedback.  It came after I posted my video about wanting to help women have a better relationship with their pussy.  I’m expanding outside my safe bubble of people who know and love me.  Feeling that sharp energy, I decided to incorporate it into my sex, a technique I learned from practicing energetic sex with Monique Darling and Lawrence Lanoff.  Taking in the energy of the thing and transmuting it for my pleasure.  The turn-on in my body increased.  I started massaging my vulva with my whole hand, energetically “fucking the hater.” This had me crack up because I’m sure that’s not the context he was thinking of our connection happening.  He was wanting me to fuck him in another way…

With the release of that negativity and a new level of arousal, memories of my erotic encounters of the week started coming to mind even more vividly.  Fabulous experiences with clients on the erotic spectrum from sweet to incredibly intense.  Experiences with people in my private life where we are exploring different levels of intimacy and connection with each other that are so delicious.  I love the variety.  I noticed how my mind was, in a way, looking to hook on to one person or another and decided no, I want to hook onto myself, my higher self or true self.  I bounced my mind back and forth from remembered experiences to the moment at hand, so to speak, and my body opened even more.

Waiting until my pussy opens and calls in penetration is also so good and against my training to please a man.  Old thoughts stop me – it takes too long, I can just use lube, I’ll get turned on soon, so why make him wait?  Things like that, compromising my pleasure for his.  Making my sex primarily about his pleasure.  When I have the time to open and have the desire build, then everything feels better, sweeter, and more electric.

As I feel the inside of myself and a thought about my ex strolls through my mind, I pause and take the time to breathe and hold myself. I keep my left hand on my vulva, fingers curled into the opening of my vaginal canal, holding myself so securely, I can feel my pubic bones in my hand.  My right hand on my heart.  I breathe and feel, and rather than going down the rabbit hole of grief, I focus on the sensation of being held and safe.  I breathe and relax and feel the sensations of being touched and held in the most intimate and caring way possible.  My arousal builds, and I want more internal stimulation, more pressure, and the feeling of being full.

I get my dildo and add lube to it.  And I go slow, again teasing myself, the way I like to be teased with a cock when I’m with a lover.  Drawing the tip of the dildo from my pubic bone down to the opening of my vulva, dipping it in a bit, then pulling it out to feel it slide up and across my clitoris.

I repeat this motion many times, penetrating a bit deeper with every stroke until finally, I’m feeling the dildo all the way in stretching my vaginal canal.  I alternate between clitoral stimulation and using the dildo for vaginal stimulation, giving myself lots of variety.

I could feel my body shift as I got into the climax zone.  I slowed my activities.  My mind wanted to go into fantasy as I have a habit of doing when I need to cum quick and use porn.  I decided no, today I wanted to practice being free of that hook and again be connected to my true self.  I gave myself time to enjoy being on the edge, giving myself stimulation to increase arousal but being careful to relax and enjoy too.  As I felt myself get so close to climax that anything I did would make me go over the edge, I rhythmically pumped the dildo in and out of my pussy with my left hand and gave my clit firm circles with the right.  I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of going over the edge, feeling my muscles spasm, and the pleasure run through my entire body.

As my climax passed, my heart space felt so open, and tears came to my eyes.  This has happened with lovers before – post-climax, in each other’s arms, I feel a drop, and I cry.  This is the first time I experienced it from loving myself. And I realized that I was crying simply because I felt so good.  The whole experience had given me such a sense of love and relief.  I let myself lay and soak in that energy for a bit, feeling so grateful that I am able to have experienced all these different sensations just now.

:::

Connect with me on facebook for the 100 Pussy Project https://www.facebook.com/nikki.lundberg

See what the project is all about in this post Focusing On Female Pleasure, Confidence, Strength, and Power – (nikkilundberg.com)

Self Pleasure Party (Ladies Only)

When:  Saturday September 7th, 5pm
Where:  The Las Vegas Adam & Eve Store

3231 N Decatur Blvd, Las Vegas, NV 89103

I’m so excited!  I’m going to be guest speaking at this event at the
local Adam & Eve Store here in Las Vegas.

Sorry this event is for ladies only.  I’ll be announcing co-ed, men’s
and virtual events soon!

The hostess of the event is Antrece, the owner of the Adam & Eve Store,
and she’s done a few events and they sound like they’ve been very fun.
She will have raffles for prizes and games where the winners get prizes
too.

I’ll be talking all about female pleasure, arousal, orgasm and all the things
a gal can do to give herself a helping hand:)  I’ll also answer questions
about overcoming sexual frustrations such as the inhibited sexual desire,
inability to become aroused, lack or orgasm and painful intercourse.

I look forward to connection (or re-connecting) with you there!  Please let
me know if you’re going to attend so I can have a little thank you present
ready for you there.  Just shoot me an email at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com.

Clitoris For Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Inspired by V-day this whole month I’ve been focusing on all things vagina – the vulva, squirting, and today I’ll be sharing a few things about the clitoris.

  1. Did you know the clitoris is the only organ in the human body created for the purpose of experiencing pleasure?  Yup, that’s all it does.
  2. The clitoris is actually fairly large.  The part that is visible is called the glans and that is only the very tip.
  3. The clitoris itself does not actually produce or secrete any type of fluid.

The Clitoris | For Pleasure Only

In many ways the clitoris can be compared to the penis but the one way it differs – the penis is a multi-tasker while the clitoris has only one purpose- to feel pleasure.  Many people are disconnected from their bodies in general and their genitals in particular.  Through relaxation and mindful masturbation we can get in touch with our genitals.  As a woman, you can tap into an immense amount of pleasure.  This is because of the clitoris and the way it works inside our bodies.

The Clitoris Is Bigger Than You Might Realize

Attached by ligaments at the pubic symphysis (where the two hip bones meet in the middle), the mons peeks out from beneath the protective hood.  beneath the hood is the body.  Once inside it separates into 2 sections.  Called the crus, these legs extend the length of the labia and encircle the vaginal canal creating the corpus cavernosum.  Then, the clitoris has another extension on each side called the crura.  This leg extends down through the perineum and even alongside the anus attaching to the pudendal nerve.

Here are pictures showing what I’m talking about:

MRI clitoris side view from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris side view from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from side.  Pic from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side. Pic from museumofsex.com

MRI clitoris top view.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris top view. Image from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from top.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from top. Image from museumofsex.com

Image from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/5013866.stm

Image from news.bbc.co.uk

Clitoris drawn from side at rest.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side at rest. Image from museumofsex.com

The Clitoris Does Not Produce Fluid

The vagina secrets many types of fluid, and urine comes from the urethra, but many mistakenly assume that the clitoris produces some type of fluid as well.  The entire vaginal area is made up of erectile tissue (much like a penis) and it has an area of spongy tissue called vestibular bulbs or skene’s glands.  These become engorged during arousal – like the penis – and this is where the ejaculate comes from.  These glands run along side the clitoris below the surface of the labia.  During high arousal and with the right kind of pressure they can release fluid that is very similar to the prostatic fluid created in the male prostate.  The ducts for these glands exit into the opening of the urethra – the opening of which is below the clitoris and just inside the introitus (opening) of the vagina.

Clitoris and bulbs/skene's glands

Clitoris and bulbs/skene’s glands

Why would you want to know all this?  The more aware you are (whether you are the one with the pussy or the one loving on the pussy) the better you will be able to stimulate that pussy.  Just knowing all this is going on under the surface will influence how you treat the area and key you in more deeply to the experience which makes for more pleasure.  And that’s what great sex is all about, right?!

Vulva Stimulation And The Squirting Orgasm2-12-13

Enter your info below to get the purchase link for my new DVD “The Squirting Orgasm”.  This 2 DVD set contains video of my live class, the in class demonstration, and two examples of squirting orgasms.  It comes with a download of the “Guide To Vulva Stimulation | Touches, Strokes And Techniques For Full Female Arousal“.

Retail price: $39.95.  On sale for Valentines Day for $24.95 plus shipping and handling.

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