We all got cleaned up and dressed and sat in a circle to review the experience. She was very happy with everything and felt a new hope that she would be able to enjoy penetrative sex. She finally felt like she wasn’t “broken”. He felt grateful for the experience and all the knowledge I shared with them but he was dealing with guilt around having experienced a climax with a woman besides his girlfriend. At first she was quick to reassure him that she wasn’t upset and in fact she was happy that everything had happened the way it did.
I went a little deeper before offering reassurance. I asked why he felt that way. After some discussion what it came down to was the old ideas of what was ok and not ok. I also talked with him about him deserving to feel good and being worth getting all the pleasure he can and that definitely struck a chord. I explained how these feelings were based on old beliefs and beliefs are only ideas we think over and over. He could choose to examine each belief and if it was no longer serving his current situation he could find a new thought to think that would eventually become a new belief that would support his decisions.
I recommended that every time a feeling of guilt comes up he remembers that he is allowed to feel pleasure, that he is worth it, that he is in a loving relationship and the things that we did during that session were in support of that relationship. He felt much more grounded and positive after that discussion and thanked me.
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