Connection and wanting to feel connected are high on everyone’s list. These are also potential benefits of mindful masturbation!
How does this happen?
When you create a mindful masturbation practice (with or without masturbation coaching) you begin to sensitize yourself to more subtle physical stimulation. Part of sensitizing yourself is improving your attention (both the quality of your attention as well as the quantity or span). This sensitivity to subtle sensations and improved attention shows up in all areas of your life. You will be more likely to pick up on subtle cues and clues from those around you to know what they are trying to communicate and how they are feeling.
If you are interested in working with a sex coach online or a sex coach in Las Vegas you should set up an exploratory session with Sex Coach Nikki. Exploratory sessions are free. Email her at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com or text her at 702.674.6606 to schedule a time for an initial chat.
Although Nikki is not a licensed sex therapist working with her is very therapeutic and could have many benefits for your sex life and your sexual health. She coaches in person, over the phone and on skype. Masturbation coaching is her favorite tool! Masturbation done mindfully and with purpose can help improve libido, give you control over premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation, lead to becoming multi-orgasmic, ease pain during sex (for both genders) as well as make your solo sex life more satisfying and give you the capacity to feel more connected to the people around you.
It’s Anal August once again and I have some fun stuff to share.
I have an excellent full color pdf on the Art of Anal Pleasure that you can sign up for at right here ===>
You will also get a series of emails directly to your inbox with tips about anal pleasure. Please email me any questions you have so I can include that answer in my email tips.
At NikkisLessons.com I’ll be working on updating the Anal section – making it easier to use and adding new content. Please let me know if you are in Las Vegas and would like to volunteer to be in a video. Ideally I’d like to show more work with couples and also more diversity in my videos.
Live In Las Vegas
Learn To Give A Safe And Sensual Erotic Massage at The Art Of Anal Pleasure Interactive Demo & Lecture
Friday, August 19, 2016
Will be held at a Private Residence Near South Eastern and the 215, Las Vegas, NV
If you are always looking for ways to be a better lover then this class is for you. Sex Coach Nikki will be teaching an interactive class as well as performing a complete live demonstration. This will be followed by optional guided practice.
The number one concern for most people interested in anal pleasure is how to keep it healthy and safe. Included with this class is a series of emails and videos where I will teach you step by step how to keep things clean, and how to prepare for giving or receiving anal stimulation. I will also be available to talk about any questions or concerns that come up.
Anal pleasure done right is definitely an art. I look forward to performing for you and teaching you the beauty that is possible.
Have questions answered regarding:
•How to locate the prostate
•How to massage the anal sphincters for relaxation and pleasure
•How to use a strap on
•How to make sure to keep everything healthy and safe
•Much, much more…
You will leave knowing
•how to talk about anal stimulation with your partner
•how to stay healthy and safe
•how to create a safe space for any emotions that come up to be expressed
•how to deeply relax the body so it can open up and receive
•the anatomy of the anal area
•effective communication strategies for intimacy
•specific ways to tease and please the anus in particular and the entire human body in general
7:00 – Doors open 7:15 – Class begins. Doors are locked. No late arrivals allowed. 8:30 – Break 8:45 – Optional Guided Practice Begins 9:45 – Close Class
A note about the optional guided practice – I am implementing a policy that a telephone conversation is to be had if at all possible with every class attendee to discuss the upcoming class so I can tailor the experience to the people who will be present. If I cannot speak with you in advance I will not be able to include you in the guided practice portion of the event.
Some things to know:
•The practice session will be clothing optional.
•This is not an orgy or party atmosphere.
•This is a safe space that will allow participants to become completely aware of their body and their erotic energy.
•You must participate in the practice to stay in the room.
—Included in your registration for this class is the Group Sex Class And Optional Play Time that directly follows. Click here to see more.
Early Bird Registration Until 8/16/2016
$20 for singles
$30 for couples and poly pods
$35 for singles
$45 for couples and poly pods
This will be an alcohol free event.
No money will be accepted at the door. Click here to register.
To cultivate is to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill). In what ways do you cultivate yourself? Are you mindful about what you do in preparation of receiving what you desire? Do you have conscious daily practices in place?
In the past these concepts were foreign to me. I knew about wanting to have a better life. I knew that I had to do something different than my parents if I wanted a different experience. But I had no idea where to start. I was open to suggestions… and that’s when I started on my journey.
I learned ways to let go of what I already knew so I could embrace new ideas and beliefs. I became willing to try new things, to play and experiment, and to push to the edge of my comfort zone often.
Things that worked were honesty, positivity, creativity, and exploration. During this process I learned new skills, picked up new habits and ultimately began to take on higher level practices. These are all bringing me what I desire and preparing me for even more!
Here is a list of practices I do on a regular basis – if not daily – that cultivate me for the life I desire.
mindfully eat whole food
immerse myself in learning environments
have family time
What’s amazing is that the more I take care of myself the more it seems my life is taken care for me.
I’ve been doing a lot with Orgasmic Meditation (OM) and while I love it, when it comes down to it, OM is a partnered practice. With Masturbation Meditation you can have your practice solo.
For the last 3 years every May I’ve offered the 30 Day Self Pleasure Program for Masturbation Awareness Month. This year I’m revamping it completely, adding all I’ve learned, and putting it together to present to you with a bow on top.
If you are interested in receiving the details as things develop Email me at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com and I’ll make sure you get all the insider info.
As a kid I began my masturbation as I explored my vagina in the privacy of my own room. I experienced more and more pleasure and I first identified my orgasm at around 10 or 11 years old. After making out with a boy who penetrated me with his finger I started experimenting with internal stimulation. That was where my masturbation practice stayed until my mid twenties. I experimented with vibrators and found them to be too intense and more of a distraction than helpful. I also started exploring anal stimulation during my solo sessions once a partner tried anal sex with me during partner sex.
I almost always masturbated during partner sex – I found out through masturbation that it was only through direct clitoral stimulation that I was able to reach orgasm (or so I thought). I would masturbate if I was tired and wanted to fall asleep quickly. I would masturbate if I was horny. When I began my journey as a sex educator I started to masturbate for new reasons – to know myself more deeply, to learn new things sexually and to meditate.
The masturbation meditation that I have practiced has provided some amazing insights both for myself and for those I have worked with. Through direct hands on practice we can intimately learn our own anatomy of pleasure and how to have a deeper and more expanded experience of that pleasure. We can work through issues we have with ourselves around sex, love, intimacy and image as lightning speed. We reach a new level of self knowledge that allows us to communicate much more effectively with our lovers.
By having masturbation meditation as a practice I was able to learn how to improve my sex muscles. This allowed my orgasms to become stronger. With continued practice I was able to identify more subtle peaks, climaxes and orgasms in my body and enjoy a broader spectrum of pleasure. I also learned how to ejaculate.
Meditation had never been a strong point in my life. I had desire for it but it wasn’t until I joined a class that had daily masturbation meditation as part of the curriculum that I was able to have the consistency I craved. Doing it with the teachers leading and the other students sharing experiences gave me the structure and the payoff that I needed to stick with it. Some of them went on to keep it as a daily practice after the course. 0 I did it daily for the course which was 2 months long and after that sporadically.
That 2 month experience changed my sex for the better. I found not only through direct personal experience but also through the experiences of my classmates that deep and profound progress could be made in the areas of overcoming sexual dysfunction, increasing sexual pleasure, smoothing emotions and opening the spirit. That is why I have made it one of the bedrocks of my sex education programs. The power of sexual healing in real and we all hold it in our own hands.
As Masturbation Awareness Month approaches I will be sharing more about how you can get these same benefits in your life.
When trying something new as a couple it’s ideal for both to get coaching together. Also, the habits of each persons solo sex will effect the couple’s partner sex.
Couples Sex Coach Session For Christmas Part 3
He lay on the bed on his back and I sat between his knees. We talked about his masturbation habits and techniques. He masturbates several times a week using porn. I saw how he was touching himself while I was working with his girlfriend. He used a strong grip and aggressive jacking motions. I explained that not many pussies would be able to re-create that type of intense stimulation. He would need to change his habits in order to become sensitized for the gentler feeling of vaginal penetration. Even for anal sex where the sphincter is tighter he will need to go slowly at first and that could make his erection wane. On top of all that they want to use condoms for birth control and since condoms can also decrease sensation he needed to get his cock more sensitive to subtle stimulation.
Using my hand and lube I gently massaged his cock somewhat simulating the way a pussy would feel. He was not able to become fully erect because the lack of stimulation – both visual and physical. That’s the other thing about having the habit of using pornography to masturbate – partner sex is usually not as visually sensational. A person may have no problem becoming aroused and climaxing with porn but with their partner they may be unable to and this is why. I explained to him that not only does he need to become more sensitive to gentler stimulation but he also needs to become more in touch with his body and physical stimulation in general so he won’t be reliant upon visual stimulation. I asked him if he had ever done PC muscle exercises and he said no. I explained that with strong pelvic floor muscles he could consciously pump more blood into his dick and his erection would also be stronger and thicker.
In light of all this information I suggested he enroll in my 30 day self pleasure program which outlines a routine for becoming more sensate focused and strengthening the PC muscles.
Sometimes you have to try something totally different.
Couples Sex Coach Session For Christmas Part 2
Then I asked them if they had ever considered anal sex. They said no but they were open to it. I had her flip over to her stomach and began massaging her glutes and sit bones. I explained to him all that I was doing. Using lots of lube I began to massage the crack of her ass. Very slowly. I told her before every change in stimulation I made. I went from that to direct pressure onto her anus. Using my 3 fingers together I placed them broadly against her anus and pressed into her body slowly increasing the pressure until it was firm checking with her all the time to make sure it was feeling good. She enjoyed all the external stimulation. I moved on – slowly – using one fingertip to massage her external sphincter. Just dipping the tip of my finger into her anus I gently applied pressure – up, to the right, down, and to the left – checking at each point to see if she felt pain and also explaining to her boyfriend what I was doing.
Since everything was feeling good I sunk my finger in a bit deeper so I was penetrating her inner sphincter. I repeated the pressure in the four different directions. At this point she wasn’t feeling pleasure just pressure. I explained that that was fine and that she would take some time to become used to this type of stimulation and to allow it to become erotic.
I slowly began sliding my finger in and out of her anus. I just kept my finger straight and didn’t apply any pressure in any direction. She was able to take my entire finger into her anus without discomfort of any kind. I told them that they would most likely be having anal sex before they had vaginal sex since she wasn’t feeling pain in this area. I gently bent my finger aiming my finger tip toward her pubic bone. For the first time she felt the pleasure of pressure against her g-spot. At the same time she felt like she may have to have a bowel movement. I reassured her that there was no fecal matter in her rectum and it was just habit that when she felt pressure in this area it meant she had to go to the bathroom and that with practice that physical signal would change.
Her boyfriend wanted to try so I moved and he sat where I had been between her knees. I coached him to go slower and slower. He did and was so pleased when he was able to penetrate his girlfriend without bringing her pain. He began sliding his finger in and out of her anus. As he got more excited he began to speed up and she asked him to stop. He did and I explained that the tissue is very sensitive and this is a new type of stimulation. Over time he would be able to “finger fuck” her and even add a second finger. I told him that the sign that she would be ready for anal sex is when he is able to smoothly slide tow fingers in and out of her anus without causing discomfort.
We mutually decided she felt done and it was his turn to work with me.
I am super excited for 2014 because every year has gotten gotten better and better for me and 2013 was fricken amazing. The last week was no exception…
Couples Sex Coach Session For Christmas Part 1
I met with a couple who were visiting from out of town. They had been looking online for a massage therapist and came across my site. Seeing that in addition to offering massage I also offer sex coaching they set up an appointment with me.
They were very nervous. Neither one of them had done anything like this before. They were in their mid – 20s and were both virgins. This was not by choice. They had been in a committed relationship for several years but had several problems when it came time for penetrative sex. This had caused their passion to wane and even though they had enjoyed oral sex in the past the fun had even left that because of their frustration.
When I arrived we discussed their situation and their histories. They were both from a very conservative culture that didn’t allow for free sexual expression and experimentation. They had never found someone to consult with. They said they would be much more comfortable if I would be nude with them as they were very ashamed of all these issues and I offered it. Seeing and being seen is the best way I’ve found to release shame.
I began with examining her. She said she felt pain in her vagina. I slowly examined from the outside starting with the abdomen and vulva asking all the time what her arousal level was. When she reported that she was more than 50% aroused I began exploring her inner labia, clitoral hood and clitoris. Still all pleasure – no pain.
While I was working with her the boyfriend asked if he was allowed to touch himself. I said sure that it was normal and natural and this was an erotic situation. He was surprised he wasn’t more physically aroused and I explained it was because even though this situation might be very close to the fantasies he held in his mind I was still keeping things fairly clinical. I suggested he enjoy what was happening rather than judging it against what he thought should be happening.
Continuing my examination I began to slowly penetrate her vaginal opening (the entroitus). Now the pain started. Pinchy. Burning. Bad. I got out some castor oil and applied it liberally to my finger and to her vulva. Slowly – painfully slowly – I sunk my fingertip into her pussy. The majority of the pain was strongest on the bottom. I shifted the pressure to the top of the opening and that worked until I got to the second knuckle and then she felt pain there too. I noticed that she would tense up periodically and I pointed out the signs to her boyfriend so he could tell when he need to slow down just by her non-verbal cues.
The first step to improve your sex life is to acknowledge what has already happened. This is the hard work that many of us try to avoid.
Taking stock of the current state of affairs and the past can be very helpful. It can also be harmful.
Try the following two exercises:(tip: read all the suggestions first before starting)
Get into your body. Breath deeply and notice how you feel in the moment.
With a pen and paper make a list of all the things that aren’t the way you want them to be in your sex life. Acknowledge them. Contrast brings clarity but only if you see it.
Notice your physical sensations. Notice when things feel bad in your body. Avoid being too hard on yourself and dwelling in the negative.
Be as objective as possible. You are noticing and acknowledging, not judging.
Release the negative feelings you have tied to these things. The best way to do this is to take personal responsibility for your experience. That gives you the power to change your future experiences. If someone else seems to be to blame take a deep breath and look at how you might have put yourself in the position to be hurt.
Once you have completed the above exercise pause, breath, and move on to the next exercise.
It’s time to look at the positives.
Make sure you’re in your body.
Again with the pen and paper – write down all the things that are good/positive/going the way you want.
Make this list as long as your first list and then add 5 more things.
This exercise will help you to develop an attitude of gratitude and will help you to operate on a higher vibration making it easier to attract and manifest those things that bring you pleasure.
Find someone to share these lists with. If you can’t find someone you are welcome to send them to me. Why? Because being witnessed is the best way to release shame. Chances are you have some shame around the things that didn’t go well. By sharing them and putting the light of day on them their power diminishes. You may also get great feedback that can aid in acknowledging and releasing the negativity!
I am passionate about great sex and my mission is to help people have more frequent and better quality sex. I’ve known for years that there are many people suffering silently from lack of intimacy and the amazing success of the book Fifty Shades Of Grey proves it.
What makes me say this?
Here is an erotic fantasy that went mainstream and everybody is reading it and talking about it. This is finally an acceptable way for massive numbers of women to consume erotica. Women who would normally never touch Penthouse Letters let alone internet pornography were given a socially acceptable way to explore some bit of sexuality.
Being an expert on sex and intimacy I am available to support you in spicing up your sex life (or turning it a shade of grey hahahaha).
Get a copy of the book and join in the conversation!