3 Things To Do When You Have No Time For Sex

Are you stressed out because you or your partner don’t have enough time for true intimacy and connection?  As a sex coach I hear about it all the time from people who attend my classes – their sex is great, when they get to have it.  They make the time to do something special together here and there (like go to my class) but they never make the time to practice what they learned in the class.  I’ve found that time management tools can work just as well for having an abundant sex life as they do for being productive in business.

  1. Cultivate your mindset so you can have more sexy time.

The first thing to change is your mindset.  There is a prayer I often say when I’m trying something new, “Please help me set aside everything I know and everything I think I know so that I may have an open mind for a new experience.”  The more you repeat ‘I don’t have time’ the more you won’t have time.  Let that thought go and think instead ‘how can I find time?’.  Then your brain will go to work finding time do have erotic practices and sex.

  1. Get tools to help you make time for your inner sexy beast.

Next, you need tools.  The thinking that got you into this situation will not get you out of it.  Below is a sign up box to get a chapter of my book for free that has lots of ideas about how to make more time in your life – not only for sex but for your entire quality of life.  Just think – with better time management habits you could become more focused and productive, finally have a way to do things you’ve been putting off, and even be more available for friends and family when they need you.

  1. Be easy on your sexy self.

Making changes is never easy, even when they are good ones.  Know that by reading articles like this and checking new things out means you are on the right path and chances are you are doing more than most.  Keep that momentum going and sign up for the free chapter.  You will get some other tools and goodies as well to guide you on your path of erotic exploration.  If after reading it and using the other tools I send you things are still tough then definitely consider going to couples counseling , a sex therapist or using a sex coach to support you.

     

    My Climax

    May is masturbation monthI started masturbating very young, realizing that it felt good to put pressure and friction “down there”. There was a time when I started to notice climax. And then I started experimenting with penetration.

    As I became sexually active I continued to masturbate.  I only noticed climax during masturbation.  I never used anything battery operated (vibrators felt tickly or painful). The only porn I used was the promo magazines for the “dancers to you” that are free here in Vegas.

    In my early 20’s I began to use erotica.  I began to feel when I had a climax during partner sex.

    In my late 20’s I began to use porn online.  With a small child and a new business achieving climax as fast as possible was the goal.

    As a sex educator I began to experiment with different vibrating devices – rabbits, bullets, Hitachis. I don’t generally use them but I did experiment with them. I also learned all I could about pleasure and arousal and climax and what it means to be in an orgasmic state.

    The older I’ve gotten the more pleasure I’ve been able to experience and the longer it has taken me to have a clitoral climax.

    This last time takes the cake though. Almost 2 weeks. To have a climax.

    I’m truly re-evaluating my relationship with climax right now. It seems that as I’ve become more and more mindful of what makes my body feel good the more pleasure I experience. I have been in an orgasmic state time and time again during these last 2 weeks – either by masturbation, orgasmic meditation, or partner sex – but feeling good and orgasmic did not include climax.

    Even though I’m practicing mindful masturbation and focusing on sensation only I did try using erotica and porn a couple of times because I truly desired a release (old habits are hard to break) but even those did not push me over the edge.

    What does this mean? I feel like now that my pussy is awake she cannot go back to sleep. She is enjoying all the attention and pleasure. Maybe it’s just now that I’ve been able to truly approach sex and pleasure without a goal or agenda.

    Whatever it is, I’m grateful for all I know, for all the pleasure I’ve experienced and for the big climax I had last night.

    To find out about waking your genitals up and experiencing more pleasure check out my 30 day Pleasure eCourse – on sale for May because it’s National Masturbation Month! 

    Cultivating Pleasure

    Cultivate Pleasure With Sex Coach NikkiTo cultivate is to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill).  In what ways do you cultivate yourself?  Are you mindful about what you do in preparation of receiving what you desire?  Do you have conscious daily practices in place?

    In the past these concepts were foreign to me.  I knew about wanting to have a better life.  I knew that I had to do something different than my parents if I wanted a different experience.  But I had no idea where to start.  I was open to suggestions…  and that’s when I started on my journey.

    I learned ways to let go of what I already knew so I could embrace new ideas and beliefs.  I became willing to try new things, to play and experiment, and to push to the edge of my comfort zone often.

    Things that worked were honesty, positivity, creativity, and exploration.  During this process I learned new skills, picked up new habits and ultimately began to take on higher level practices.  These are all bringing me what I desire and preparing me for even more!

    Here is a list of practices I do on a regular basis – if not daily – that cultivate me for the life I desire.

    • fellowship
    • Orgasmic Meditation
    • Masturbation Meditation
    • exercise
    • mindfully eat whole food
    • journal
    • immerse myself in learning environments
    • have family time
    • play

    What’s amazing is that the more I take care of myself the more it seems my life is taken care for me.

    I’ve been doing a lot with Orgasmic Meditation (OM) and while I love it, when it comes down to it, OM is a partnered practice.  With Masturbation Meditation you can have your practice solo.

    For the last 3 years every May I’ve offered the 30 Day Self Pleasure Program for Masturbation Awareness Month.  This year I’m revamping it completely, adding all I’ve learned, and putting it together to present to you with a bow on top.

    If you are interested in receiving the details as things develop Email me at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com and I’ll make sure you get all the insider info.