My Climax

May is masturbation monthI started masturbating very young, realizing that it felt good to put pressure and friction “down there”. There was a time when I started to notice climax. And then I started experimenting with penetration.

As I became sexually active I continued to masturbate.  I only noticed climax during masturbation.  I never used anything battery operated (vibrators felt tickly or painful). The only porn I used was the promo magazines for the “dancers to you” that are free here in Vegas.

In my early 20’s I began to use erotica.  I began to feel when I had a climax during partner sex.

In my late 20’s I began to use porn online.  With a small child and a new business achieving climax as fast as possible was the goal.

As a sex educator I began to experiment with different vibrating devices – rabbits, bullets, Hitachis. I don’t generally use them but I did experiment with them. I also learned all I could about pleasure and arousal and climax and what it means to be in an orgasmic state.

The older I’ve gotten the more pleasure I’ve been able to experience and the longer it has taken me to have a clitoral climax.

This last time takes the cake though. Almost 2 weeks. To have a climax.

I’m truly re-evaluating my relationship with climax right now. It seems that as I’ve become more and more mindful of what makes my body feel good the more pleasure I experience. I have been in an orgasmic state time and time again during these last 2 weeks – either by masturbation, orgasmic meditation, or partner sex – but feeling good and orgasmic did not include climax.

Even though I’m practicing mindful masturbation and focusing on sensation only I did try using erotica and porn a couple of times because I truly desired a release (old habits are hard to break) but even those did not push me over the edge.

What does this mean? I feel like now that my pussy is awake she cannot go back to sleep. She is enjoying all the attention and pleasure. Maybe it’s just now that I’ve been able to truly approach sex and pleasure without a goal or agenda.

Whatever it is, I’m grateful for all I know, for all the pleasure I’ve experienced and for the big climax I had last night.

To find out about waking your genitals up and experiencing more pleasure check out my 30 day Pleasure eCourse – on sale for May because it’s National Masturbation Month! 

Cultivating Pleasure

Cultivate Pleasure With Sex Coach NikkiTo cultivate is to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill).  In what ways do you cultivate yourself?  Are you mindful about what you do in preparation of receiving what you desire?  Do you have conscious daily practices in place?

In the past these concepts were foreign to me.  I knew about wanting to have a better life.  I knew that I had to do something different than my parents if I wanted a different experience.  But I had no idea where to start.  I was open to suggestions…  and that’s when I started on my journey.

I learned ways to let go of what I already knew so I could embrace new ideas and beliefs.  I became willing to try new things, to play and experiment, and to push to the edge of my comfort zone often.

Things that worked were honesty, positivity, creativity, and exploration.  During this process I learned new skills, picked up new habits and ultimately began to take on higher level practices.  These are all bringing me what I desire and preparing me for even more!

Here is a list of practices I do on a regular basis – if not daily – that cultivate me for the life I desire.

  • fellowship
  • Orgasmic Meditation
  • Masturbation Meditation
  • exercise
  • mindfully eat whole food
  • journal
  • immerse myself in learning environments
  • have family time
  • play

What’s amazing is that the more I take care of myself the more it seems my life is taken care for me.

I’ve been doing a lot with Orgasmic Meditation (OM) and while I love it, when it comes down to it, OM is a partnered practice.  With Masturbation Meditation you can have your practice solo.

For the last 3 years every May I’ve offered the 30 Day Self Pleasure Program for Masturbation Awareness Month.  This year I’m revamping it completely, adding all I’ve learned, and putting it together to present to you with a bow on top.

If you are interested in receiving the details as things develop Email me at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com and I’ll make sure you get all the insider info.

Life, Sex, Business And Orgasmic Meditation

Woooh!  What a year! I can’t believe how much time has passed since my lost blog post.  I’ve taken time to focus on other things and now I’m better than ever!  I did not stop working with people around sex and sexuality.  In fact, I held more classes and worked with more clients than ever before.

-Also-

Sex Coach Nikki Onetaste Certified Coach and Advance Orgasmic Meditation TrainerI got certified as an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Orgasmic Life Coach.

Yeah.  It’s kind of a big deal.  I traveled from Las Vegas to New York once a month for 10 months to immerse myself into the content of Orgasmic Meditation.  I experienced things that have left me sensitive in ways I never knew possible.

Now that has ended and I have taken some recovery time to figure out the direction I am going.  And I get to share about it with you here.

In gratitude.

Moms And Masturbation

Yes, hate to break it to you, but we moms do masturbate. While we might hate to think about our own mothers masturbating studies have found that pregnant women masturbate more and women in general tend to masturbate more as they get older.

I’m a mom. I’m grateful for mindful masturbation and wish I had known about it at a younger age. Sometimes I still use it as a stress reliever, a sleep inducer, and a pleasurable distraction from my responsibilities. To be able to steal that time away for myself is a treat and something I’m not always willing to give myself.

Things that stop moms like me from masturbating are lack of time, lack of privacy, guilt for not sharing my sex, and sheer exhaustion. I’m lucky to have made a life that incorporates my sex and sexuality and I think that gives me more opportunities and motivation to experience pleasure both alone and with partners. Before my life became what it is I rarely masturbated. Women can forget how good the pleasure feels. This is also a contributing factor of many women becoming asexual.

Do a favor for the hot mom in your life and see if there’s a way you can give her some quality alone time focused on self pleasure. If this mom happens to be your partner believe me – you won’t regret it. Masturbation can re-awaken desire in women and help them to share their sex with you. Approach it with an attitude of wanting them to experience the most pleasure possible even if that means it has to be without you. By being supportive in this way you will reap the rewards that come from being an understanding and supportive partner. Rewards that might even include a little mutual pleasure:)

My Masturbation Awareness

As a kid I began my masturbation as I explored my vagina in the privacy of my own room.  I experienced more and more pleasure and I first identified my orgasm at around 10 or 11 years old.  After making out with a boy who penetrated me with his finger I started experimenting with internal stimulation.  That was where my masturbation practice stayed until my mid twenties.  I experimented with vibrators and found them to be too intense and more of a distraction than helpful.  I also started exploring anal stimulation during my solo sessions once a partner tried anal sex with me during partner sex.

I almost always masturbated during partner sex – I found out through masturbation that it was only through direct clitoral stimulation that I was able to reach orgasm (or so I thought).   I would masturbate if I was tired and wanted to fall asleep quickly.  I would masturbate if I was horny.  When I began my journey as a sex educator I started to masturbate for new reasons – to know myself more deeply, to learn new things sexually and to meditate.

The masturbation meditation that I have practiced has provided some amazing insights both for myself and for those I have worked with.  Through direct hands on practice we can intimately learn our own anatomy of pleasure and how to have a deeper and more expanded experience of that pleasure.  We can work through issues we have with ourselves around sex, love, intimacy and image as lightning speed.  We reach a new level of self knowledge that allows us to communicate much more effectively with our lovers.

By having masturbation meditation as a practice I was able to learn how to improve my sex muscles.  This allowed my orgasms to become stronger.  With continued practice I was able to identify more subtle peaks, climaxes and orgasms in my body and enjoy a broader spectrum of pleasure.  I also learned how to ejaculate.

Meditation had never been a strong point in my life.  I had desire for it but it wasn’t until I joined a class that had daily masturbation meditation as part of the curriculum that I was able to have the consistency I craved.  Doing it with the teachers leading and the other students sharing experiences gave me the structure and the payoff that I needed to stick with it.  Some of them went on to keep it as a daily practice after the course. 0 I did it daily for the course which was 2 months long and after that sporadically.

That 2 month experience changed my sex for the better.  I found not only through direct personal experience but also through the experiences of my classmates that deep and profound progress could be made in the areas of overcoming sexual dysfunction, increasing sexual pleasure, smoothing emotions and opening the spirit.  That is why I have made it one of the bedrocks of my sex education programs.  The power of sexual healing in real and we all hold it in our own hands.

As Masturbation Awareness Month approaches I will be sharing more about how you can get these same benefits in your life.

Click Here to find out about the upcoming 30 Day Self Pleasure Program

 

 

 

Anal Massage Lesson For Young Couple

Sometimes you have to try something totally different.

Couples Sex Coach Session For Christmas Part 2

anal massage sex coaching for conservative couples Sex Coach Nikki LundbergThen I asked them if they had ever considered anal sex.  They said no but they were open to it.  I had her flip over to her stomach and began massaging her glutes and sit bones.  I explained to him all that I was doing.  Using lots of lube I began to massage the crack of her ass.  Very slowly.  I told her before every change in stimulation I made.  I went from that to direct pressure onto her anus.  Using my 3 fingers together I placed them broadly against her anus and pressed into her body slowly increasing the pressure until it was firm checking with her all the time to make sure it was feeling good.  She enjoyed all the external stimulation.  I moved on – slowly – using one fingertip to massage her external sphincter.  Just dipping the tip of my finger into her anus I gently applied pressure – up, to the right, down, and to the left – checking at each point to see if she felt pain and also explaining to her boyfriend what I was doing.

Since everything was feeling good I sunk my finger in a bit deeper so I was penetrating her inner sphincter.  I repeated the pressure in the four different directions.  At this point she wasn’t feeling pleasure just pressure.  I explained that that was fine and that she would take some time to become used to this type of stimulation and to allow it to become erotic.

I slowly began sliding my finger in and out of her anus.  I just kept my finger straight and didn’t apply any pressure in any direction.  She was able to take my entire finger into her anus without discomfort of any kind.  I told them that they would most likely be having anal sex before they had vaginal sex since she wasn’t feeling pain in this area.  I gently bent my finger aiming my finger tip toward her pubic bone.  For the first time she felt the pleasure of pressure against her g-spot.  At the same time she felt like she may have to have a bowel movement.  I reassured her that there was no fecal matter in her rectum and it was just habit that when she felt pressure in this area it meant she had to go to the bathroom and that with practice that physical signal would change.

Her boyfriend wanted to try so I moved and he sat where I had been between her knees.  I coached him to go slower and slower.  He did and was so pleased when he was able to penetrate his girlfriend without bringing her pain.  He began sliding his finger in and out of her anus.  As he got more excited he began to speed up and she asked him to stop.  He did and I explained that the tissue is very sensitive and this is a new type of stimulation.  Over time he would be able to “finger fuck” her and even add a second finger.  I told him that the sign that she would be ready for anal sex is when he is able to smoothly slide tow fingers in and out of her anus without causing discomfort.

We mutually decided she felt done and it was his turn to work with me.

25 Year Old Virgin Couple Due To Vaginal Pain

Private coaching sessions are available via phone, webcam and in person.

For more information visit http://www.nikkilundberg.com/sex-coach-products-and-services/private-sessions/

There are many sexually conservative cultures throughout the world.  I work with you to observe your comfort levels and provide the most informative pleasurable experience possible.

sex coaching for conservative couples Sex Coach Nikki Lundberg

sex coaching for conservative couples Sex Coach Nikki Lundberg

 

 

A great resource for people suffering from Vaginismus is http://vaginismus.org/

Happy New Year!

I am super excited for 2014 because every year has gotten gotten better and better for me and 2013 was fricken amazing.  The last week was no exception…

Couples Sex Coach Session For Christmas Part 1

I met with a couple who were visiting from out of town.  They had been looking online for a massage therapist and came across my site.  Seeing that in addition to offering massage I also offer sex coaching they set up an appointment with me.

They were very nervous.  Neither one of them had done anything like this before.  They were in their mid – 20s and were both virgins.  This was not by choice.  They had been in a committed relationship for several years but had several problems when it came time for penetrative sex.  This had caused their passion to wane and even though they had enjoyed oral sex in the past the fun had even left that because of their frustration.

When I arrived we discussed their situation and their histories.  They were both from a very conservative culture that didn’t allow for free sexual expression and experimentation.  They had never found someone to consult with.  They said they would be much more comfortable if I would be nude with them as they were very ashamed of all these issues and I offered it.  Seeing and being seen is the best way I’ve found to release shame.

I began with examining her.  She said she felt pain in her vagina.  I slowly examined from the outside starting with the abdomen and vulva asking all the time what her arousal level was.  When she reported that she was more than 50% aroused I began exploring her inner labia, clitoral hood and clitoris.  Still all pleasure – no pain.

While I was working with her the boyfriend asked if he was allowed to touch himself.  I said sure that it was normal and natural and this was an erotic situation.  He was surprised he wasn’t more physically aroused and I explained it was because even though this situation might be very close to the fantasies he held in his mind I was still keeping things fairly clinical.  I suggested he enjoy what was happening rather than judging it against what he thought should be happening.

Continuing my examination I began to slowly penetrate her vaginal opening (the entroitus).  Now the pain started.  Pinchy.  Burning.  Bad.  I got out some castor oil and applied it liberally to my finger and to her vulva.  Slowly – painfully slowly – I sunk my fingertip into her pussy.  The majority of the pain was strongest on the bottom.  I shifted the pressure to the top of the opening and that worked until I got to the second knuckle and then she felt pain there too.  I noticed that she would tense up periodically and I pointed out the signs to her boyfriend so he could tell when he need to slow down just by her non-verbal cues.

 

Self Pleasure Party (Ladies Only)

When:  Saturday September 7th, 5pm
Where:  The Las Vegas Adam & Eve Store

3231 N Decatur Blvd, Las Vegas, NV 89103

I’m so excited!  I’m going to be guest speaking at this event at the
local Adam & Eve Store here in Las Vegas.

Sorry this event is for ladies only.  I’ll be announcing co-ed, men’s
and virtual events soon!

The hostess of the event is Antrece, the owner of the Adam & Eve Store,
and she’s done a few events and they sound like they’ve been very fun.
She will have raffles for prizes and games where the winners get prizes
too.

I’ll be talking all about female pleasure, arousal, orgasm and all the things
a gal can do to give herself a helping hand:)  I’ll also answer questions
about overcoming sexual frustrations such as the inhibited sexual desire,
inability to become aroused, lack or orgasm and painful intercourse.

I look forward to connection (or re-connecting) with you there!  Please let
me know if you’re going to attend so I can have a little thank you present
ready for you there.  Just shoot me an email at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com.

Golden Showers And Human Toilet Training

water sportsDisgusting fetishes can be difficult to wrap your mind around at first but with time and communication a certain understanding can be reached.  I recently worked with someone who had the fetish of being used as a human toilet.  This was not my first encounter with this fetish and I knew how to work through it with this submissive man.

If you are going to engage in this kind of play you definitely have to have communication first.  Talk about what kind of experience is desired.  The one making the request should be as detailed as possible so their partner can create the desired result.  Does the bottom/receiver enjoy the feeling of the weight of a body on them – their face, head and torso?  Does the bottom simply enjoy the sensation or also the humiliating aspects?  For my client yesterday he explained how he enjoyed being humiliated and objectified for a dominant female’s bathroom needs, to be used as a toilet and spittoon.  He described how being made to feel small, perverted and depraved actually satisfied something inside him.  He shared about an incident in junior high where a girl bully pushed him down and farted in his face and ever since then he’s had a fascination with it.  The only people willing to play this way seem to be professional dominatrix.  In all other aspects of his life he’s “normal” and “average”.

As a top/Dom there can be a lot of pleasure to be had from this kind of play.  Of course, someone being below you, accepting everything that comes from you with enthusiasm, that is a great feeling.  Knowing that you are helping someone to scratch their itch is important.  You are being of service to them.

For play that is very disgusting to you but that you still want to try, start out slow.  Golden showers can be very difficult to give but might be easier to start with than direct toilet play.  Seeing the excitement on the bottoms face and having their face so close to your genitals can be very arousing.  If you become aroused then urinating can be next to impossible.  It’s also difficult to overcome a lifetime of training that you only pee in one place and that it’s yucky to do it anywhere else.  Keep remembering it’s not yucky for your bottom, it’s erotic.  You may need to practice before you are able to relax enough to “let loose”.  Often being in the shower and running warm shower water can help the body relax enough to release.  Also, drinking LOTS of water for the 30-45 minutes before playtime is very helpful.  Then, if you are trying to pee and nothing is coming out all you have to do is “bear down” and push and your full bladder will empty.  Having a lot of water in your system is not only healthy for the giver but will also make the play more enjoyable because your urine will smell better.

For toilet training a direct seal of mouth to urethra is great.  Positioning will depend on the desired sensations.  For my client yesterday, he not only enjoyed being used, but also the sensation of the body weight on him.  Fold up towels for the bottom to use as a pillow and to catch any urine they might miss.  This is an extremely intimate act.  It is one thing to be sitting on someone’s face with them licking and pleasuring you.  It is another to be sitting on someone, their mouth sealed to you, you totally relaxing into the moment, them waiting to receive.  As fluid flows from your body to theirs you feel the movement of their body accepting and taking in what you give.  Sucking, swallowing.  Those small muscle movements provide a special kind of stimulation against the vulva and if you are leaning forward with your stomach against their throat you can feel it as those small muscles push down the liquid.

What’s really great is if you can become aroused (as I do in this situation) you can lean back and masturbate right in their face.  The consistency of your fluids will change as the flow of urine stops and ejaculate starts.  The bottom can taste the difference.  If they like the objectification talk about how you like to masturbate on the toilet.  And cum in the toilet.  And now they are not just the object for your urination but also for your pleasure.  As a top, take your pleasure.  Enjoy the feeling of someone being below you and taking everything you have to give.  Lean into being of service to them and giving them what they need.

Thoughts?  Questions?  Please post in the comments section below.

Clitoris For Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Inspired by V-day this whole month I’ve been focusing on all things vagina – the vulva, squirting, and today I’ll be sharing a few things about the clitoris.

  1. Did you know the clitoris is the only organ in the human body created for the purpose of experiencing pleasure?  Yup, that’s all it does.
  2. The clitoris is actually fairly large.  The part that is visible is called the glans and that is only the very tip.
  3. The clitoris itself does not actually produce or secrete any type of fluid.

The Clitoris | For Pleasure Only

In many ways the clitoris can be compared to the penis but the one way it differs – the penis is a multi-tasker while the clitoris has only one purpose- to feel pleasure.  Many people are disconnected from their bodies in general and their genitals in particular.  Through relaxation and mindful masturbation we can get in touch with our genitals.  As a woman, you can tap into an immense amount of pleasure.  This is because of the clitoris and the way it works inside our bodies.

The Clitoris Is Bigger Than You Might Realize

Attached by ligaments at the pubic symphysis (where the two hip bones meet in the middle), the mons peeks out from beneath the protective hood.  beneath the hood is the body.  Once inside it separates into 2 sections.  Called the crus, these legs extend the length of the labia and encircle the vaginal canal creating the corpus cavernosum.  Then, the clitoris has another extension on each side called the crura.  This leg extends down through the perineum and even alongside the anus attaching to the pudendal nerve.

Here are pictures showing what I’m talking about:

MRI clitoris side view from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris side view from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from side.  Pic from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side. Pic from museumofsex.com

MRI clitoris top view.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

MRI clitoris top view. Image from museumofsex.com

Clitoris drawn from top.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from top. Image from museumofsex.com

Image from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/5013866.stm

Image from news.bbc.co.uk

Clitoris drawn from side at rest.  Image from http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Clitoris drawn from side at rest. Image from museumofsex.com

The Clitoris Does Not Produce Fluid

The vagina secrets many types of fluid, and urine comes from the urethra, but many mistakenly assume that the clitoris produces some type of fluid as well.  The entire vaginal area is made up of erectile tissue (much like a penis) and it has an area of spongy tissue called vestibular bulbs or skene’s glands.  These become engorged during arousal – like the penis – and this is where the ejaculate comes from.  These glands run along side the clitoris below the surface of the labia.  During high arousal and with the right kind of pressure they can release fluid that is very similar to the prostatic fluid created in the male prostate.  The ducts for these glands exit into the opening of the urethra – the opening of which is below the clitoris and just inside the introitus (opening) of the vagina.

Clitoris and bulbs/skene's glands

Clitoris and bulbs/skene’s glands

Why would you want to know all this?  The more aware you are (whether you are the one with the pussy or the one loving on the pussy) the better you will be able to stimulate that pussy.  Just knowing all this is going on under the surface will influence how you treat the area and key you in more deeply to the experience which makes for more pleasure.  And that’s what great sex is all about, right?!

Vulva Stimulation And The Squirting Orgasm2-12-13

Enter your info below to get the purchase link for my new DVD “The Squirting Orgasm”.  This 2 DVD set contains video of my live class, the in class demonstration, and two examples of squirting orgasms.  It comes with a download of the “Guide To Vulva Stimulation | Touches, Strokes And Techniques For Full Female Arousal“.

Retail price: $39.95.  On sale for Valentines Day for $24.95 plus shipping and handling.

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