Connection and wanting to feel connected are high on everyone’s list. These are also potential benefits of mindful masturbation!
How does this happen?
When you create a mindful masturbation practice (with or without masturbation coaching) you begin to sensitize yourself to more subtle physical stimulation. Part of sensitizing yourself is improving your attention (both the quality of your attention as well as the quantity or span). This sensitivity to subtle sensations and improved attention shows up in all areas of your life. You will be more likely to pick up on subtle cues and clues from those around you to know what they are trying to communicate and how they are feeling.
If you are interested in working with a sex coach online or a sex coach in Las Vegas you should set up an exploratory session with Sex Coach Nikki. Exploratory sessions are free. Email her at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com or text her at 702.674.6606 to schedule a time for an initial chat.
Although Nikki is not a licensed sex therapist working with her is very therapeutic and could have many benefits for your sex life and your sexual health. She coaches in person, over the phone and on skype. Masturbation coaching is her favorite tool! Masturbation done mindfully and with purpose can help improve libido, give you control over premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation, lead to becoming multi-orgasmic, ease pain during sex (for both genders) as well as make your solo sex life more satisfying and give you the capacity to feel more connected to the people around you.
Guys – Are you having a hard time getting it up or keeping it up in a group sex situation? If so this is totally normal and something you can work through.
As a sex coach and swinger I know that for many people the thought or desire to be in a group sex situation can be very erotic. The challenge is that we usually don’t have many situations like this in our real life so we can be surprised how challenging it is to actually take advantage of these situations when they arise. I have many people come to my classes extremely excited about the group practice time only to be frustrated because it doesn’t work out they way they thought.
It is possible to work through this. Most things we do are habitual and if you have a habit of having sex in one or two ways it may be difficult to enjoy sex in other ways or circumstances. In order to work through this you need to practice getting to know your body better and following erotic energy more than using a set pattern that you know will work to bring you to climax. That set pattern will not work under all circumstances whereas following the erotic energy will.
Because erotic energy is subtle and body based many of us need to practice sensing it in order to have access to it. This is where I come in as a sex coach.
I work with you to become more mindful in your solo sex or partner sex activities.
I will witness you in solo or partner sex if that seems to be beneficial to reaching your sexological goals.
I’m able to accompany you to swinger clubs to coach you in real time to feel the flow of erotic energy in a group setting.
To be clear – I do not masturbate or have sex with you. I do not touch you in any of these circumstances. I guide you verbally in ways that will help you to key in to the flow of erotic energy. Through exercises and homework practices I teach you to become more and more sensitive to the subtle sensations that feel so so good.
Email or text me to set up a time to talk about working with me so you can enjoy group sex situations to their fullest!
P.S. I work with people from around the world as an online sex coach. With the telephone and skype there are few limitations. For people in Las Vegas I’m happy to provide in person sex coaching. Also a disclaimer – although working with me can be very therapeutic I am not a sex therapist or marriage counselor. If there are issues beyond my area of expertise I will require that you seek treatment from the appropriate professionals in order to get the most out of our work together.
To bridge the gap between the masculine “how” and the feminine “what”. I’ve suggested this tool to several clients over the last couple weeks with great success.
Many of us are verbally abusive or violent with our partners and we don’t even realize it. We dominate, manipulate, and give guilt trips in order to communicate how we feel. We can use passive aggressiveness, aggressive aggressiveness, sarcasm, stonewalling and more to try to convey when we are upset.
Usually, this causes the other person to become defensive, and we all know the best defense is a good offense. So they strike back at us, verbally, and the situation escalates. If this was happening with physical violence we would never tolerate it. Since it’s verbal though many of us turn a blind eye.
I don’t agree with everything taught in Non Violent Communication but I think a lot of it is useful. Often times people have a really hard time getting vulnerable and sharing what is really going on. It may have been so long that there is barely any trust left with their partner. This is a feminine and messy and can be really hard to reach. The structure in the Non Violent Communication gives a masculine container to use to express our emotions and wild feminine vulnerability.
If you are having a difficult time expressing feelings and being vulnerable definitely check this site out for some resources.
My #1 tip is to use your own body as a guide for giving pleasure. In order to do this you must get centered and sensitive to your own sensations. You need to focus on the experience, not the performance.
Do you have any questions giving head? Ask in the comments below or send me an email at email@example.com
Have you ever wondered about how to do a really deep clean inside for anal play? Well, in this video I am going to talk about one way to do a deeper Enema or a higher Enema. I am sex coach Nikki and we are here in the bathroom and I’m going to show you one way, I know there is probably other ways and this is the thing, there is a lot of controversy around high Enemas, whether they are really necessary, whether they are good for you or bad for you and what I have to say is that I like to do it when I’m going to be with one of my partners because they are very specific. They have a very sensitive nose, they don’t want any waste or mess because it totally turns them off and puts them out of the mood.
So, I have to do more than the basic little fleet Enema, I have to do the entire – anything that can be coming out in the next few couple of hours basically cleaning up higher in to my gut. So, this is how I figured out how to do it, I’m sure other people have other ways maybe even better ways. But basically what I do is – we have this, the shower head so, you know, if you have this type of shower at home it’s worthy investment if you’re doing for this purpose. And you unscrew this part, okay I’m trying to be down in here, and then there is a little washer, so you want to be careful not to lose the washer which is right there, okay. So, then the first part is you are going to make sure that the water is lukewarm so you don’t wanted to be cold because you don’t want your muscles to have contractions and seize up. But you don’t want to get too hot because you can burn easily you are dealing with very sensitive tissue.
And you put the pressure on to just a steady pressure not a hard pressure and you can put it up to your anus and you can kind of control the flow even with your anus. So, you don’t want to put too hard but also hard enough to go in and then once you are full to the point where you feel like you need to evacuate then you can evacuate. Now, this can be done in couple of ways, personally I prefer to get out and use a toilet because I – that’s my preference but I know other people who don’t care and they will just go straight in the tub and wash it down the drain. It won’t hurt the plumbing as long as the opening can handle, you know, some volume. And you just keep doing that until what comes out is clear.
So, what happens is it pass the anus is the rectum. So, the rectum is what holds the fecal matter right before it comes out of the anus. Then there is another – there is a twist in your, like right in here there is a twist, well if you can see that and it goes to the left and there is a – that’s where fecal matter get stored in your large intestine. So, your large intestine go starts here, goes to the left, goes around up and across and down, okay so that’s all large intestine right there.
So, as you are playing – when you do the fleet Enema like I said in my other video you put it in and let it out like maybe three times or so. Once that’s clear that’s good to go. But if you’re doing extended play or you have a sensitive partner like I do then you will need to put more water so that whatever is like in this area here, the large intestine can also be stimulated to come down and be passed out and cleansed out. So, once that starts coming out clear then I do a couple of things first of all and wait because of course water when it’s up here might take time to work its way backed down and also I play with myself. So, this is also a very pleasurable process if you like anal stimulation and I play with myself and I make sure like there is nothing that’s going to be wanting to come out once it gets like I start moving my body and enjoying that. So, I’ll be videotaping that also for my Nikki’s Lessons website but I’ll just be putting on, you know, the PG stuff here on YouTube.
Alright, yeah that’s it and then once you are thinking you are done you want to check with a toy and play with it and see and if you feel like you’re having problems another thing to do is once you, one of the times when you’re full of water is to squat down when you bear down. And that can press even more out and then another thing that I found helpful is actually soaping up my finger and putting my finger inside and cleaning it up inside in the pelvic floor with my finger and I can actually feel the muscles working and I can see like, like some backed up water that gets like toward the tailbone side will come out when I do that.
So, I know what kind of goes [Soundbite of laughing] – so it’s only preparation for an intense amazing anal sex. So, if I think of anything else that I could share here in YouTube than I will definitely continue this video, otherwise make it a sexy day.
It’s Anal August once again and I have some fun stuff to share.
I have an excellent full color pdf on the Art of Anal Pleasure that you can sign up for at right here ===>
You will also get a series of emails directly to your inbox with tips about anal pleasure. Please email me any questions you have so I can include that answer in my email tips.
At NikkisLessons.com I’ll be working on updating the Anal section – making it easier to use and adding new content. Please let me know if you are in Las Vegas and would like to volunteer to be in a video. Ideally I’d like to show more work with couples and also more diversity in my videos.
Live In Las Vegas
Learn To Give A Safe And Sensual Erotic Massage at The Art Of Anal Pleasure Interactive Demo & Lecture
Friday, August 19, 2016
Will be held at a Private Residence Near South Eastern and the 215, Las Vegas, NV
If you are always looking for ways to be a better lover then this class is for you. Sex Coach Nikki will be teaching an interactive class as well as performing a complete live demonstration. This will be followed by optional guided practice.
The number one concern for most people interested in anal pleasure is how to keep it healthy and safe. Included with this class is a series of emails and videos where I will teach you step by step how to keep things clean, and how to prepare for giving or receiving anal stimulation. I will also be available to talk about any questions or concerns that come up.
Anal pleasure done right is definitely an art. I look forward to performing for you and teaching you the beauty that is possible.
Have questions answered regarding:
•How to locate the prostate
•How to massage the anal sphincters for relaxation and pleasure
•How to use a strap on
•How to make sure to keep everything healthy and safe
•Much, much more…
You will leave knowing
•how to talk about anal stimulation with your partner
•how to stay healthy and safe
•how to create a safe space for any emotions that come up to be expressed
•how to deeply relax the body so it can open up and receive
•the anatomy of the anal area
•effective communication strategies for intimacy
•specific ways to tease and please the anus in particular and the entire human body in general
7:00 – Doors open 7:15 – Class begins. Doors are locked. No late arrivals allowed. 8:30 – Break 8:45 – Optional Guided Practice Begins 9:45 – Close Class
A note about the optional guided practice – I am implementing a policy that a telephone conversation is to be had if at all possible with every class attendee to discuss the upcoming class so I can tailor the experience to the people who will be present. If I cannot speak with you in advance I will not be able to include you in the guided practice portion of the event.
Some things to know:
•The practice session will be clothing optional.
•This is not an orgy or party atmosphere.
•This is a safe space that will allow participants to become completely aware of their body and their erotic energy.
•You must participate in the practice to stay in the room.
—Included in your registration for this class is the Group Sex Class And Optional Play Time that directly follows. Click here to see more.
Early Bird Registration Until 8/16/2016
$20 for singles
$30 for couples and poly pods
$35 for singles
$45 for couples and poly pods
This will be an alcohol free event.
No money will be accepted at the door. Click here to register.
The “Art Of Anal Pleasure” class was AMAZING. We had a full house and 2 amazing demonstration models. One was a gentleman who was a very experienced anal player who got to have his limits stretched by having an audience view his play. The second was a beautiful mature woman who on the outside seemed so sweet and innocent but once she got naked and I had my strap-on in place she was voracious! I was able to demonstrate all the anal positions I know with her. Everyone learned something new and a good time was had by all. I look forward to Anal August:)
All male therapists at this spa:)
I went to Bali for the end of April to attend a women’s retreat. It was transformational. Without the hustle and bustle of everyday life I was able to feel into some deep desires. Several came up. Here are some:
to work with more people as a sex coach over the phone and over skype
to work with more women in a healing capacity – helping with painful sex and numbness
to partner up with other professionals so I can have company when I’m working
to have more fun in my business
I’m so happy to be back home. I love love love so many things here in Vegas – my family, my business… I definitely missed it all.
Did you know that there are not any sex toy stores in Bali, Indonesia? I did not until I was looking for one. I was going to indulge in buying a new sex toy – part of the the point of the retreat was self care so I wanted to make sure to take care of myself sexually as well – and no one could help me. I finally found out that it wasn’t legal in Bally.
So when we had a free day I sought out a happy ending massage:) Actually, I’d already gotten a few massages (they are only $15 an hour there) but none of the girls would go there with me. I was finally able to get some relief when I went to an all male therapist place. I had this 25 year old island boy and he was very good at taking direction:) I felt MUCH better after that.
Happy Masturbation Month!!!
Yup, May is masturbation month. It’s something I love personally and professionally. Professionally it’s one of the most important tools I use in my sex coaching. There are many things you can incorporate into masturbation that will have a therapeutic benefit to either overcome sexual dysfunction or expand a person’s experience of pleasure. I’m truly enjoying the work I do with people that includes masturbation coaching. It creates a deep connection very quickly and that helps us move through issues powerfully and completely.
Email Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com to more information on sex coaching and masturbation coaching.
Delayed ejaculation is also known as retarded ejaculation or impaired ejaculation. This is whenever is it taking you longer than you would like to ejaculate and you are frustrated. You may also be getting tired or sore from sex or masturbation before you ejaculate. Some people constantly experience their partners frustration since they haven’t cum yet and they are tired or sore.
There are many possible causes for delayed ejaculation both physical and mental.
My approach is to work with you to review your sex history and together uncover beliefs and thoughts that might be affecting you. Optionally I witness your masturbation practice in a way that releases shame and can show me where you might make some changes in your physical practice.
You will experience more pleasure from your body, have improved confidence and experience deeper satisfaction by the time we are finished working together.
Email me to set up a time to talk so we can see if we would be a good fit Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com
There are a TON of benefits to be had from masturbation and you can exponentially increase how many you experience by practicing mindful masturbation. My favorite benefit is stress relief. Our daily lives are filled with stress from many sources and with masturbation you can use erotic energy to move the stress through and out of your body.
For more information about mindful masturbation and the masturbation coaching I offer send me an email at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com Let me know what you’re interests are and we can schedule a time for a quick chat to see if we would be a good fit for working together
I invite you to celebrate masturbation month with me by trying something new and letting me know how it works out. If you are interested in the therapeutic benefits even better. I love sexual healing! While I am not a licensed therapist my methods are very therapeutic. I truly enjoy being a masturbation coach because I get to co-create with my clients and be with them on the journey as they experience rapid improvement. The point is not that people need to learn how to masturbate – it’s that they can use certain masturbation skills and techniques to overcome common sexual dysfunction and to expand their experience of pleasure.
Make sure you are grounded in your body and you use the sensations in your body to guide you just as much if not more than his cues.
Focus on having a good experience instead of giving a good performance. Consider going goalless.
Practice, practice, practice. Try out all these techniques several times to see what feels good in your body. The first time will be the strangest because it will be new but by the 3rd time you will most likely be developing some muscle memory and be able to relax into the sensation.
Tips and techniques:
Use Your Body As A Guide
The more you practice the better you will get. And – there are practices you can adopt that will speed up your progress of becoming sensitive to your own body. The best I know of is Orgasmic Meditation. Second best is masturbation meditation. After that having a fitness practice and anything else that helps you to stay mindful and in the moment will help.
When giving stimulation feel the build up in your own body. As you feel the tightness build up pay attention to the peak. Once a peak has passed it’s a good time to make a change in the type of stimulation you are giving.
Make sure that everything you do feels good to you and your body. Yes, the receiver should like it, but if you don’t it won’t be sustainable.
Pay attention to your genitals.
Make it playful and have fun.
Stopping to talk can be ok. Letting your partner know what sensations you are feeling and enjoying makes them enjoy it even more. I like to focus on the sensation of the skin sliding in and out of my lips.
Practice asking yes or no questions.
Coach your receiver to give adjustments or make requests rather than complaints.
Coach your receiver to give one adjustment at a time.
Experiment with using a timer – only giving oral for 10 or 15 minutes.
Experiment with taking directions – only move or change what you are doing when your receiver asks for it.
Talk about what you are going to do before you do it.
Review your experience together afterward.
Go into the session with no goal or expectation of outcome. Shoot for a great experience, not a great performance.
Performing Fellatio (Giving A Blow Job)
Take your time at the beginning . Kiss all over the body. Resist the temptation to go straight to the cock. Going slow will create anticipation and heightens the sensation. Even sniffing / breathing will produce a sensation.
When you first take his cock into your mouth, pause. Let the sensations sink into your mouth. Feel his cock completely. Notice the taste, texture and aroma.
If you are low on saliva use lube. If you have a lot of saliva spit it out. Try not to swallow it. Allow his entire genital area to get nice and wet.
Use a variety of strokes.
Long deep strokes moving your mouth all the way up and all the way down.
Short deep strokes where you keep his cock as deep as possible and only bob your head up and down a few inches.
Roll your head around with his cock in your mouth as you also bob up and down.
Lick in circles around the entire cock. I like to clockwise as I move my head up and down so every time I’m at the top I go over the tip of his dick with the bottom of my tongue and every time the top of my tongue is on the bottom of his cock I take his cock into my mouth as deep as possible.
Wrapping your lips around your teeth allows you to apply more pressure to the shaft.
To increase the intensity and add variety switch to using your hand.
You can hold your mouth still on the glans and use your hand on his shaft as he pumps in and out of your mouth for another sensation.
Pull his cock in different directions. This will give him different sensations as you are stretching the muscles and tendons at the base of his shaft.
If you deep throat (or attempt to deep throat) Even choking is a different sensation that can be pleasurable for the two of you.
Stimulate his scrotum and testicles. The skin on the scrotum is similar to the skin on the labia. It can (usually)be handled for added sensation. All these moves will produce different sensations.
Light deliberate nibbling
Stretching the skin to the point the skin is taught.
Massaging the testicles.
Pulling the testicles away from the body.
Massage his perineum. Make a fist and press it into his body just below his tesitcles. Move your closed fist in circles as you maintain pressure. This provides external stimulation to the prostate. This is also a good place to lick.
Different positions have different benefits. One good position is for the giver to lie down in between the receiver’s legs. Then roll onto one side your head can rest on his thigh. You can slide your bottom arm under his thigh (go over if that’s more comfortable) so you can touch the front of his torso. You can use your top arm and hand to stimulate his balls and butt as you use your mouth on his cock. If you roll even further you can reach down with your top hand to masturbate while using your bottom hand to stimulate his cock and balls.
Edging is when a person is kept on the edge of climax. The closer he gets to climax the more often you can change the stimulation to keep him on the edge. The longer you edge the more intense the climax (usually). This is also a time when a man can experience orgasm without ejaculation.
When he does finally enter into climax continue steady firm stimulation. Don’t change. Once the main peak of the climax has passed focus your strokes on the shaft as the glans can become painfully sensitive.