Masturbation Benefits

There are a TON of benefits to be had from masturbation and you can exponentially increase how many you experience by practicing mindful masturbation. My favorite benefit is stress relief. Our daily lives are filled with stress from many sources and with masturbation you can use erotic energy to move the stress through and out of your body.

For more information about mindful masturbation and the masturbation coaching I offer send me an email at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com Let me know what you’re interests are and we can schedule a time for a quick chat to see if we would be a good fit for working together

I invite you to celebrate masturbation month with me by trying something new and letting me know how it works out. If you are interested in the therapeutic benefits even better. I love sexual healing! While I am not a licensed therapist my methods are very therapeutic. I truly enjoy being a masturbation coach because I get to co-create with my clients and be with them on the journey as they experience rapid improvement. The point is not that people need to learn how to masturbate – it’s that they can use certain masturbation skills and techniques to overcome common sexual dysfunction and to expand their experience of pleasure.

How To Give A Great Blow Job

To see the video where I show and tell all about how to give a great blow job visit http://www.nikkislessons.com/

How To Give A Great Blow Job

  1. Make sure you are grounded in your body and you use the sensations in your body to guide you just as much if not more than his cues.
  2. Focus on having a good experience instead of giving a good performance. Consider going goalless.
  3. Practice, practice, practice. Try out all these techniques several times to see what feels good in your body. The first time will be the strangest because it will be new but by the 3rd time you will most likely be developing some muscle memory and be able to relax into the sensation.

Tips and techniques:

Use Your Body As A Guide

The more you practice the better you will get. And – there are practices you can adopt that will speed up your progress of becoming sensitive to your own body. The best I know of is Orgasmic Meditation. Second best is masturbation meditation. After that having a fitness practice and anything else that helps you to stay mindful and in the moment will help.

When giving stimulation feel the build up in your own body. As you feel the tightness build up pay attention to the peak. Once a peak has passed it’s a good time to make a change in the type of stimulation you are giving.

Make sure that everything you do feels good to you and your body. Yes, the receiver should like it, but if you don’t it won’t be sustainable.

Pay attention to your genitals.

Make it playful and have fun.

Communication

Stopping to talk can be ok. Letting your partner know what sensations you are feeling and enjoying makes them enjoy it even more.   I like to focus on the sensation of the skin sliding in and out of my lips.

  • Practice asking yes or no questions.
  • Coach your receiver to give adjustments or make requests rather than complaints.
  • Coach your receiver to give one adjustment at a time.
  • Experiment with using a timer – only giving oral for 10 or 15 minutes.
  • Experiment with taking directions – only move or change what you are doing when your receiver asks for it.
  • Talk about what you are going to do before you do it.
  • Review your experience together afterward.
  • Go into the session with no goal or expectation of outcome. Shoot for a great experience, not a great performance.

Performing Fellatio (Giving A Blow Job)

Take your time at the beginning . Kiss all over the body. Resist the temptation to go straight to the cock. Going slow will create anticipation and heightens the sensation. Even sniffing / breathing will produce a sensation.

When you first take his cock into your mouth, pause. Let the sensations sink into your mouth. Feel his cock completely. Notice the taste, texture and aroma.

If you are low on saliva use lube. If you have a lot of saliva spit it out. Try not to swallow it. Allow his entire genital area to get nice and wet.

Use a variety of strokes.

  • Long deep strokes moving your mouth all the way up and all the way down.
  • Short deep strokes where you keep his cock as deep as possible and only bob your head up and down a few inches.
  • Roll your head around with his cock in your mouth as you also bob up and down.
  • Lick in circles around the entire cock. I like to clockwise as I move my head up and down so every time I’m at the top I go over the tip of his dick with the bottom of my tongue and every time the top of my tongue is on the bottom of his cock I take his cock into my mouth as deep as possible.
  • Wrapping your lips around your teeth allows you to apply more pressure to the shaft.
  • To increase the intensity and add variety switch to using your hand.
  • You can hold your mouth still on the glans and use your hand on his shaft as he pumps in and out of your mouth for another sensation.
  • Pull his cock in different directions. This will give him different sensations as you are stretching the muscles and tendons at the base of his shaft.
  • If you deep throat (or attempt to deep throat) Even choking is a different sensation that can be pleasurable for the two of you.

Stimulate his scrotum and testicles. The skin on the scrotum is similar to the skin on the labia. It can (usually)be handled for added sensation. All these moves will produce different sensations.

  • Licking
  • Sucking
  • Light deliberate nibbling
  • Tugging
  • Stretching the skin to the point the skin is taught.
  • Massaging the testicles.
  • Pulling the testicles away from the body.

Massage his perineum. Make a fist and press it into his body just below his tesitcles. Move your closed fist in circles as you maintain pressure. This provides external stimulation to the prostate. This is also a good place to lick.

Different positions have different benefits. One good position is for the giver to lie down in between the receiver’s legs. Then roll onto one side your head can rest on his thigh. You can slide your bottom arm under his thigh (go over if that’s more comfortable) so you can touch the front of his torso. You can use your top arm and hand to stimulate his balls and butt as you use your mouth on his cock. If you roll even further you can reach down with your top hand to masturbate while using your bottom hand to stimulate his cock and balls.

Edging is when a person is kept on the edge of climax. The closer he gets to climax the more often you can change the stimulation to keep him on the edge. The longer you edge the more intense the climax (usually). This is also a time when a man can experience orgasm without ejaculation.

When he does finally enter into climax continue steady firm stimulation. Don’t change. Once the main peak of the climax has passed focus your strokes on the shaft as the glans can become painfully sensitive.

Monogamy Vs. Non-Monogamy | Social Conditioning

The hardest part of “coming out” was to acknowledge and accept that I am not monogamous to myself. I felt a lot of judgment for myself because of the stories/programming/conditioning I had around what monogamy and non-monogamy meant. Their meaning didn’t match up to my definition of self and that meant I was going to be out of integrity with myself – and for me that is like being in purgatory. I have to be right with myself first or nothing else works.

wedding ringsHere are the characteristics that came with monogamy according to my conditioning: a person who is monogamous is caring, loyal, loving, dependable, reliable, humble, trustworthy. They are able to put the needs of the many before the needs of the individual and therefore are also more generous, fair and civil minded than others. These characteristics would also manifest in every other area of their life so that a monogamous person will also have a great work ethic, contribute to society, always take care of their own family and so on and so forth.

On the other hand, I had the belief that the characteristics of a non-monogamous person: dishonest, selfish, self centered, careless, driven by lust, couldn’t care about family or bonds. They would put their own needs ahead of anyone else’s at whatever cost to the other people as long as they were satisfied. These people were not to be trusted or relied upon under any circumstances. They would suck others into their deceitful manipulative lifestyle any chance they got.

So you can see how I had a hard time accepting being non-monogamous. I did my best to practice the values of the monogamous person. A part of me was dying inside because I wasn’t being true to myself. I couldn’t reconcile the differences between how I felt inside (non-monogamous) and the kind of life I wanted to live (positive and generative). It is only through experiencing acceptance, tolerance, love and approval from others and myself that I have been able to see that these definitions have nothing to do with reality. They have to do with social norms, control, repression, and shame.

Coming Out As Polyamorous

infinity heartMy husband and I began living a polyamorous lifestyle in spring of 2013. We are consensually non-monogamous. We both date casually as well as carrying on serious romantic commitments with others. We agree to always let each other know where we are, to make sure our daughter is taken care of as a team, and to use condoms of vaginal and anal penetration unless otherwise agreed upon.

Things weren’t always this way. We married in 2004 and set about fitting into our roles of husband and wife. This included monogamy. The journey from there to here has been full of struggles and surprises and I know my experience can shed some light on your path – not to help you avoid the growing pains but to support you in moving through them and alchemizing them into success.

In life we experience many continuums – in numbers, health, and economics to name a few. Sexuality and gender identity also operate on a continuum. For example, people can identify anywhere from 100% homosexual to 100% heterosexual, from 100% cisgender to 100% transgender, and from 100% monogamous to 100% open/polyamorous. Where people land on the spectrum as individuals is not always a fixed point and for some people this point of identification may be more fluid than for others.

It is all well and good to know about the different ways a person can identify intellectually but when you or someone you know are working through the process of self-identification practically it can be very challenging for them and all those around them. Love, tolerance, acceptance and approval are values that are the most useful in these situations. Also very important are good communication, honesty and healthy boundaries.

I have found there are 2 times the process of identification is the most painful. One is when you are going through and figuring things out for yourself and your experience isn’t lining up with what you want or expect it to be. The other is when someone you are in a relationship with changes how they identify and their new location on the continuum in incompatible in the current configuration of your relationship.

Both are heart wrenching in different ways but some of the same solutions will work for both problems. In the upcoming blogs I will share about my personal journey, what I learned and how you can apply it in your own life.

My Climax

May is masturbation monthI started masturbating very young, realizing that it felt good to put pressure and friction “down there”. There was a time when I started to notice climax. And then I started experimenting with penetration.

As I became sexually active I continued to masturbate.  I only noticed climax during masturbation.  I never used anything battery operated (vibrators felt tickly or painful). The only porn I used was the promo magazines for the “dancers to you” that are free here in Vegas.

In my early 20’s I began to use erotica.  I began to feel when I had a climax during partner sex.

In my late 20’s I began to use porn online.  With a small child and a new business achieving climax as fast as possible was the goal.

As a sex educator I began to experiment with different vibrating devices – rabbits, bullets, Hitachis. I don’t generally use them but I did experiment with them. I also learned all I could about pleasure and arousal and climax and what it means to be in an orgasmic state.

The older I’ve gotten the more pleasure I’ve been able to experience and the longer it has taken me to have a clitoral climax.

This last time takes the cake though. Almost 2 weeks. To have a climax.

I’m truly re-evaluating my relationship with climax right now. It seems that as I’ve become more and more mindful of what makes my body feel good the more pleasure I experience. I have been in an orgasmic state time and time again during these last 2 weeks – either by masturbation, orgasmic meditation, or partner sex – but feeling good and orgasmic did not include climax.

Even though I’m practicing mindful masturbation and focusing on sensation only I did try using erotica and porn a couple of times because I truly desired a release (old habits are hard to break) but even those did not push me over the edge.

What does this mean? I feel like now that my pussy is awake she cannot go back to sleep. She is enjoying all the attention and pleasure. Maybe it’s just now that I’ve been able to truly approach sex and pleasure without a goal or agenda.

Whatever it is, I’m grateful for all I know, for all the pleasure I’ve experienced and for the big climax I had last night.

To find out about waking your genitals up and experiencing more pleasure check out my 30 day Pleasure eCourse – on sale for May because it’s National Masturbation Month! 

Cultivating Pleasure

Cultivate Pleasure With Sex Coach NikkiTo cultivate is to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill).  In what ways do you cultivate yourself?  Are you mindful about what you do in preparation of receiving what you desire?  Do you have conscious daily practices in place?

In the past these concepts were foreign to me.  I knew about wanting to have a better life.  I knew that I had to do something different than my parents if I wanted a different experience.  But I had no idea where to start.  I was open to suggestions…  and that’s when I started on my journey.

I learned ways to let go of what I already knew so I could embrace new ideas and beliefs.  I became willing to try new things, to play and experiment, and to push to the edge of my comfort zone often.

Things that worked were honesty, positivity, creativity, and exploration.  During this process I learned new skills, picked up new habits and ultimately began to take on higher level practices.  These are all bringing me what I desire and preparing me for even more!

Here is a list of practices I do on a regular basis – if not daily – that cultivate me for the life I desire.

  • fellowship
  • Orgasmic Meditation
  • Masturbation Meditation
  • exercise
  • mindfully eat whole food
  • journal
  • immerse myself in learning environments
  • have family time
  • play

What’s amazing is that the more I take care of myself the more it seems my life is taken care for me.

I’ve been doing a lot with Orgasmic Meditation (OM) and while I love it, when it comes down to it, OM is a partnered practice.  With Masturbation Meditation you can have your practice solo.

For the last 3 years every May I’ve offered the 30 Day Self Pleasure Program for Masturbation Awareness Month.  This year I’m revamping it completely, adding all I’ve learned, and putting it together to present to you with a bow on top.

If you are interested in receiving the details as things develop Email me at Nikki@NikkiLundberg.com and I’ll make sure you get all the insider info.

Life, Sex, Business And Orgasmic Meditation

Woooh!  What a year! I can’t believe how much time has passed since my lost blog post.  I’ve taken time to focus on other things and now I’m better than ever!  I did not stop working with people around sex and sexuality.  In fact, I held more classes and worked with more clients than ever before.

-Also-

Sex Coach Nikki Onetaste Certified Coach and Advance Orgasmic Meditation TrainerI got certified as an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Orgasmic Life Coach.

Yeah.  It’s kind of a big deal.  I traveled from Las Vegas to New York once a month for 10 months to immerse myself into the content of Orgasmic Meditation.  I experienced things that have left me sensitive in ways I never knew possible.

Now that has ended and I have taken some recovery time to figure out the direction I am going.  And I get to share about it with you here.

In gratitude.

Moms And Masturbation

Yes, hate to break it to you, but we moms do masturbate. While we might hate to think about our own mothers masturbating studies have found that pregnant women masturbate more and women in general tend to masturbate more as they get older.

I’m a mom. I’m grateful for mindful masturbation and wish I had known about it at a younger age. Sometimes I still use it as a stress reliever, a sleep inducer, and a pleasurable distraction from my responsibilities. To be able to steal that time away for myself is a treat and something I’m not always willing to give myself.

Things that stop moms like me from masturbating are lack of time, lack of privacy, guilt for not sharing my sex, and sheer exhaustion. I’m lucky to have made a life that incorporates my sex and sexuality and I think that gives me more opportunities and motivation to experience pleasure both alone and with partners. Before my life became what it is I rarely masturbated. Women can forget how good the pleasure feels. This is also a contributing factor of many women becoming asexual.

Do a favor for the hot mom in your life and see if there’s a way you can give her some quality alone time focused on self pleasure. If this mom happens to be your partner believe me – you won’t regret it. Masturbation can re-awaken desire in women and help them to share their sex with you. Approach it with an attitude of wanting them to experience the most pleasure possible even if that means it has to be without you. By being supportive in this way you will reap the rewards that come from being an understanding and supportive partner. Rewards that might even include a little mutual pleasure:)

Practice

practicePractice
prac•tice noun
1. habitual or customary performance; operation
2. habit; custom
3. repeated performance or systematic exercise for the purpose of acquiring skill or proficiency
4. condition arrived at by experience or exercise
5. the action or process of performing or doing something
6. the exercise or pursuit of a profession or occupation, especially law or medicine
7. the business of a professional person

This is the word on my mind this morning as I think about what I am inspired to share with you today. I want to practice coaching. I went to an immersion weekend where I learned a lot about coaching and I’m aching to practice what I’ve learned. It’s the same ache that inspires me to learn more and more about sex and pleasure. It’s the ache – the desire – that motivates me to reach out and be as effective and productive as I can be.

I began the adventure of entrepreneurship 10 years ago. I began my sexual adventures 6 years ago. 4 years ago I fused the two as I experienced two things:

1. I needed a business based on my true passion
2. People are in a lot of pain around sex and sexuality and could use some help

Working with a mentor was key for my growth. Having someone to put their full exquisite attention on me and my life who had “been there and done that” is invaluable. This is what I’ve wanted to do for others – to be able to go deeper and have a stronger connection so they can manifest their desires.

desireNow I’m in a program that is teaching me some amazing coaching techniques. But like a dream, as time moves me further away from my class some of the things I learned are wafting and evaporating away. I feel a sense of urgency to practice what I learned ASAP.

Do you have an ache – a desire – that needs some exquisite nourishing attention? Do you need someone to put their finger on the just the right spot, to hold you or stimulate you according to the direction you are moving in?

I am at your service.

red line

Sex Coach NikkiHere’s my offer:

20 minute telephone sessions for $47 –
• limit 2 sessions per person
• can be used together or separately
• valid for one year
• includes a recording of the call

btn_buynowCC_LG

 

:::

20 minute video chat session for $57 –
• limit 2 sessions per person
• can be used together or separately
• valid for one year
• includes a recording of the chat

btn_buynowCC_LG